I think I am in a unique position to understand the importance of not hoarding things. Over the course of our marriage, we have lost all four of our parents and had to clean out two full houses worth of "stuff". And believe me, these people were hoarders. Not the scary type of hoarders who save mountains of newspapers and stuff, but normal Mom & Pop type hoarders.
It made me sad when I was going through my Mom's house, particularly her craft room, which was crammed to the rafters with unfinished projects, art supplies, and expensive, unread craft books. I kept thinking if she'd spent more of that time and money on doing fun stuff with us instead of all this useless junk, what great memories I would have instead of cussing her while I was wading through all this stuff and trying to sell it for pennies on the dollar at an estate sale.
You need to think long term and realize how this might come to roost on your children. If things go in the normal way, you might have 20, 30, or even 40 years before this becomes an issue, but we all know that this can happen very unexpectedly. My cousin and his wife died suddenly and violently in their mid-30's and left behind 3 orphaned children. Things like that happen sometimes, and if something terrible like that happens, do you want your children to have to deal with your whole house full of junk, in addition to all the other traumatic stuff they would have to deal with?
Cleaning out a house after a death is a terrible thing. It's exhausting, both physically and emotionally, it's heartbreaking, it's frustrating and annoying, and it's just about the least fun thing you can imagine doing. My in-laws were very clean people and not pack rats (so we thought) but we had a big eye opener when we started digging into the drawers and closets and all the little hidden areas of the house - ugh! They had saved every pay stub, every birthday card, every paid bill, and 20 years worth of bank statements - what a mess. And because we were out of state, we had three days to do the whole house. I've never worked so hard in my entire life and my kids and husband did too. Everyone hated me by the end of the week, but we got most of it done and the neighbors and people from Goodwill had to deal with the rest of it.
So take a minute a go around your house and put yourself in your kid's shoes and imagine them having to deal with your house if something happened to you. Then take some action and get rid of some of that stuff.
On another note - do you have a will and a trust? Yes, I can see your eyes rolling. I can see that guilty look on your face. This is something you HAVE TO DO! Yes, I am yelling. As I said, we have lost 4 parents and not one of them had a really proper will set up and it cost us THOUSANDS of dollars - real serious actual dollars that we could have used to buy cars, pay for college, or put towards retirement and instead it was just wasted on lawyers, court fees, and other unnecessary expenses. I think most people have no idea at all about what happens to your property after you die. Let's look at two scenarios:
John and Sally are married and own a house that is in both of their names. They have two kids and no will. John suddenly has a heart attack and dies. In this scenario, Sally would have no access to any money other than what she can grab out of their checking account or what she might have stashed in her name. She can't sell the house, his vehicle, or any personal belongings of his until it is cleared by the court, which may take months and will require very high cost legal representation. Our lawyer cost us $38,000 for a simple transfer of property. If you can't come up with that kind of money (and who can these days?), you are going to be stuck with a property that you can't easily sell and will still have to make payments on and maintain.
If the estate is large enough to require probate, the state will automatically take 10-18% right off the top. Chew on that for a minute. Sally will most likely be awarded custody of the children, but if some relative decides to kick up a fuss and paint a bad picture of her, that could even be a chancy thing and they could end up placed with another relative or even in foster care. And in the meantime, Sally is grieving, trying to figure out how she is going to support her family, dealing with insurance companies, and lawyers, and real estate agents, maybe for the first time ever and she is going to be tearing her hair out and downing tranquilizers just to keep her sanity.
Now here is the second scenario. Same circumstances, but John and Sally had a properly written will and have a simple trust set up with their house and all their major property in it. The house, vehicles, and all other property passes smoothly and automatically to Sally and all she has to do is show the death certificate to the proper parties and have John's name removed from the assets. She can mortgage them or start selling them the day after the funeral if she so chooses with no questions asked, no lawyers needed, and a minimum of taxes to be paid. Custody of the children is prearranged with backup plans set in place as needed if both couples were to die or become incapacitated.
Which scenario would you choose? I know which one we would. About a month after my father-in-law passed and we saw what a heck of a mess we were in for with his estate, we found a good estate lawyer for our own estate. We didn't have to go far, we found one right at the end of our street. We sat down with him for about 2 hours, answered some questions, made some decisions, and paid him about $1,000, which was without a doubt the best money we've ever spent! Then in less than a week, we had a will for each of us, a trust, power of attorney forms, guardianship forms and everything needed for every possible combination of catastrophes that could befall our family.
That's more than I usually share in a public blog about my finances, but this is something I feel so strongly about. As an adult, you have a duty to put your business in order to protect your family - you just have to. You need life insurance, wills, backup custody plans, the whole enchilada. 'Cuz I've been on the receiving end of a situation like this and I'll tell you, it ain't a pretty picture and it is easily the most stressful period of my life and I'm not about to put my kids through all that and I hope you won't either.
3/1/09
2/18/09
A Little Funny for you!
Here's a cute little poem I found that seems very appropriate for our situation. I write on my computer as the laundry and dishes are sitting there waiting to be done. Guess it applies to me as much as anyone!
Cleaning Poem
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick....
I was just admiring my work...
I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site.
That I got SO way into.
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess....
While I sit here on my hiney.
2/17/09
Working with your Personal Style Part 3
I promised you another installation in my Personal Style series. I've been reading a book called Do It Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management by Mark Forester. This is a very interesting book and I'm only partway through it. But so far, he's got some really unique and interesting ideas.
He talks about our two types of brains - the rational and reactive minds. The reactive brain is basically our human version of animal instincts. This is what allows us to react quickly when we sense danger, or when we spot an opportunity that would be helpful to us, such as a great sale item, or the last donut in the breakroom.
This mind has some advantages and some disadvantages. One disadvantage is that we may see certainly things as a threat that aren't really a threat. For instance, I don't much like exercise and my reactive brain sees it as a threat to me, even though my rational brain knows it is good for me. So there is this constant battle going on between the two minds and that is what makes it so difficult for me to exercise and lose the weight I want to.
This is why willpower doesn't usually work to help us change the habits we want to fix, such as cleaning and organizing our house because we've got this constant tug-of-war going on between the two parts of our brain. So, what's a girl to do? Well, the nice thing about the reactive brain is that it isn't very smart. So you have to think of some ways to outwit it and those are some of the strategies he talks about in the book.
One strategy would be to just bring it out into the open. When you find yourself being resistant to doing something, by avoiding it or procrastinating on starting a task, you need to call yourself on it. Realize what you are doing and take a moment to really think about it. Reiterate why this task is important to you and why it needs to be done, then think about why you might feel it would be a threat to you. Most of the time you'll find that there really isn't any serious threat to what you want to accomplish and you'll be able to talk yourself into doing it.
Another way to do it would be to kind of "sneak up on it". Tell yourself that you have no intention of starting this task, but that you want to get the materials ready just in case you might need them. For example - tell yourself that you have no intention whatsoever of doing the dishes, but you just feel like running a sink full of hot soapy water. Then tell yourself that you'll just put one pot in to soak, maybe two, but no more. Then tell yourself that it's a shame to waste that nice soapy water, so you'll put the rest of the dishes in just to soak. By then, you've probably shut down the alarm bell in your reactive mind and you can get in there and finish washing the dishes with no more resistance.
Another strategy is to acknowledge that this task is hard for you for some reason. I have a devil of a time making phone calls -to anyone and for any reason, including businesses and close family members. I just lost a close friend of the family this week and I am feeling terrible because I only managed to call her just once this year.
This is a classic example of my reactive brain seeing this action as a threat and doing everything possible to prevent me from doing it, regardless of what my rational brain is telling me about why I need to do it. One way to get around this might be to promise myself a treat of some kind every time I manage to pick up the phone. Hey it works for dogs and dolphins, why not me?
Another strategy might be to put some kind of penalty on not doing it. For instance, I tell my husband that I need to make a phone call today and then I tell him I have to pay him $1 if I haven't made the call by the end of the day. I do this with my kids sometimes. If they don't make their beds, their brother has the right to go in and make it for them and charge them a $1 fee. But you have to pick a family member who is willing to follow through on this and apply the penalty consistently if you don't do the task.
This is what Mark calls restructuring your life to support good habits. It's like putting your credit cards in the freezer. It makes it just difficult enough to use them that you likely won't bother to do it. He even suggested a new idea of setting up a credit card with a built-in "tattletale" feature. Every time you spend more than XX dollars, an E-mail is sent to your husband - or your Mom! Boy, that would sure make me think twice about overspending!
He talks about our two types of brains - the rational and reactive minds. The reactive brain is basically our human version of animal instincts. This is what allows us to react quickly when we sense danger, or when we spot an opportunity that would be helpful to us, such as a great sale item, or the last donut in the breakroom.
This mind has some advantages and some disadvantages. One disadvantage is that we may see certainly things as a threat that aren't really a threat. For instance, I don't much like exercise and my reactive brain sees it as a threat to me, even though my rational brain knows it is good for me. So there is this constant battle going on between the two minds and that is what makes it so difficult for me to exercise and lose the weight I want to.
This is why willpower doesn't usually work to help us change the habits we want to fix, such as cleaning and organizing our house because we've got this constant tug-of-war going on between the two parts of our brain. So, what's a girl to do? Well, the nice thing about the reactive brain is that it isn't very smart. So you have to think of some ways to outwit it and those are some of the strategies he talks about in the book.
One strategy would be to just bring it out into the open. When you find yourself being resistant to doing something, by avoiding it or procrastinating on starting a task, you need to call yourself on it. Realize what you are doing and take a moment to really think about it. Reiterate why this task is important to you and why it needs to be done, then think about why you might feel it would be a threat to you. Most of the time you'll find that there really isn't any serious threat to what you want to accomplish and you'll be able to talk yourself into doing it.
Another way to do it would be to kind of "sneak up on it". Tell yourself that you have no intention of starting this task, but that you want to get the materials ready just in case you might need them. For example - tell yourself that you have no intention whatsoever of doing the dishes, but you just feel like running a sink full of hot soapy water. Then tell yourself that you'll just put one pot in to soak, maybe two, but no more. Then tell yourself that it's a shame to waste that nice soapy water, so you'll put the rest of the dishes in just to soak. By then, you've probably shut down the alarm bell in your reactive mind and you can get in there and finish washing the dishes with no more resistance.
Another strategy is to acknowledge that this task is hard for you for some reason. I have a devil of a time making phone calls -to anyone and for any reason, including businesses and close family members. I just lost a close friend of the family this week and I am feeling terrible because I only managed to call her just once this year.
This is a classic example of my reactive brain seeing this action as a threat and doing everything possible to prevent me from doing it, regardless of what my rational brain is telling me about why I need to do it. One way to get around this might be to promise myself a treat of some kind every time I manage to pick up the phone. Hey it works for dogs and dolphins, why not me?
Another strategy might be to put some kind of penalty on not doing it. For instance, I tell my husband that I need to make a phone call today and then I tell him I have to pay him $1 if I haven't made the call by the end of the day. I do this with my kids sometimes. If they don't make their beds, their brother has the right to go in and make it for them and charge them a $1 fee. But you have to pick a family member who is willing to follow through on this and apply the penalty consistently if you don't do the task.
This is what Mark calls restructuring your life to support good habits. It's like putting your credit cards in the freezer. It makes it just difficult enough to use them that you likely won't bother to do it. He even suggested a new idea of setting up a credit card with a built-in "tattletale" feature. Every time you spend more than XX dollars, an E-mail is sent to your husband - or your Mom! Boy, that would sure make me think twice about overspending!
2/11/09
The Only 4 Things to do with Paper
By Marcia Francois
One of the most popular questions I get from blog and mailing list readers is this: How do I control all the paper?!
I understand your frustration completely because when I get lazy, that's the first area that goes out of control for me too.
The first thing you have to do is decide to make some decisions. I like using a timer because I'm naturally competitive (anyone relate?) and that inspires me to take action, and quickly too!
Before you start, gather the following items:
1. a timer
2. wastepaper basket
3. brightly coloured pen (I like a nice thick red gel pen)
4. notebook and/ or planner
5. post-its (the originals, not the cheap stuff)
Right, now you're set!
There are only four actions you're allowed to do once you've scanned each piece of paper. Don't take longer than 30 seconds to scan the page.
1. Dump it
Throw it in the bin. The more ruthless you are, the less you have to file! Win-win! If you only need one piece of information, write it down in your notebook and throw the piece of paper away. Some of you are hyperventilating at this point - that's okay ;)
2. Delegate it
If someone else has to attend to it (husband needs to phone), write the action on the paper itself or on a post-it note stuck on the page and put it in a separate pile.
3. File it
Please do yourself a favour and only put paper in this pile if you ABSOLUTELY need to reference it. Just a quick stat for you - only 20% of filed papers are ever referenced again.
Use your post-it pad for different categories. For example, when I'm sorting my paper, I use Household, Marcia, Dion and Business as my categories.
4. Do it
Here I apply the two-minute rule. If you can do it in two minutes or less, do it right there and then. When I say "do it", I mean either action it or schedule it to action later.
For example, if you're working through your papers at 10pm and need to make an appointment, you can't phone right there and then, so write it on tomorrow's to-do list. That's within two minutes and it counts.
There you have it - the only four things to do with paper. If you stick to making decisions, your paper will be beautifully organised in no time at all. Now all you have to do is keep a regular "date" with the papers.
Want to use this article in your ezine or on your blog? You may, as long as you include this complete blurb.
Marcia Francois is a time management and organising coach who empowers small business owners and other busy professionals who want to make the most of their time. You'll get simple, practical organising and time management secrets to help you work less and enjoy life more! Visit http://takechargesolutions.org for your free Organising Success Pack.
One of the most popular questions I get from blog and mailing list readers is this: How do I control all the paper?!
I understand your frustration completely because when I get lazy, that's the first area that goes out of control for me too.
The first thing you have to do is decide to make some decisions. I like using a timer because I'm naturally competitive (anyone relate?) and that inspires me to take action, and quickly too!
Before you start, gather the following items:
1. a timer
2. wastepaper basket
3. brightly coloured pen (I like a nice thick red gel pen)
4. notebook and/ or planner
5. post-its (the originals, not the cheap stuff)
Right, now you're set!
There are only four actions you're allowed to do once you've scanned each piece of paper. Don't take longer than 30 seconds to scan the page.
1. Dump it
Throw it in the bin. The more ruthless you are, the less you have to file! Win-win! If you only need one piece of information, write it down in your notebook and throw the piece of paper away. Some of you are hyperventilating at this point - that's okay ;)
2. Delegate it
If someone else has to attend to it (husband needs to phone), write the action on the paper itself or on a post-it note stuck on the page and put it in a separate pile.
3. File it
Please do yourself a favour and only put paper in this pile if you ABSOLUTELY need to reference it. Just a quick stat for you - only 20% of filed papers are ever referenced again.
Use your post-it pad for different categories. For example, when I'm sorting my paper, I use Household, Marcia, Dion and Business as my categories.
4. Do it
Here I apply the two-minute rule. If you can do it in two minutes or less, do it right there and then. When I say "do it", I mean either action it or schedule it to action later.
For example, if you're working through your papers at 10pm and need to make an appointment, you can't phone right there and then, so write it on tomorrow's to-do list. That's within two minutes and it counts.
There you have it - the only four things to do with paper. If you stick to making decisions, your paper will be beautifully organised in no time at all. Now all you have to do is keep a regular "date" with the papers.
Want to use this article in your ezine or on your blog? You may, as long as you include this complete blurb.
Marcia Francois is a time management and organising coach who empowers small business owners and other busy professionals who want to make the most of their time. You'll get simple, practical organising and time management secrets to help you work less and enjoy life more! Visit http://takechargesolutions.org for your free Organising Success Pack.
2/10/09
Working with your Personal Style - Part 2
I've been thinking about this topic a lot and I've come up with some additional ideas.
One of the things I struggle with the most is consistency. There is just something in my personal style that rebels against doing anything the same way every time. I never get up at the same time, eat at the same time, I don't do things in the same order, I basically never do the same thing any two days in a row or do anything the same way as anyone else. On the one hand, this gives me a sense of individuality and personal freedom, but on the other hand, it really interfers with my productivity.
Sometimes I really envy people who can do this. Women who always serve chicken on Mondays, spaghetti on Tuesdays, etc. People who can remember to water plants twice a week, people who can schedule their lives with complete regularity and know they'll be able to stick to the same routine week after week. My in-laws were like that and it really fascinated me that they could remember to rotate tires, change furnace filters, and set the coffee maker every single night before bed. I envy people like that, but on the other hand, I also have a mild contempt for them. Routine seems appealing to me, but on the other hand, it seems very boring and predictable and robotic to me and I think that's why I reject it so completely.
Which leaves me stuck with a problem. There are just certain things that need to be done on a schedule and housework is definitely best when done in some kind of a routine manner So, how to integrate my personal style into this process?
As you can see, I'm a computer gal. I spend large chunks of my time on the computer, both at work and at home. I probably have a computer screen in my face for 12 to 15 hours a day, every day. And computers are fabulous at routines. Sounds like a win-win to me!
So what I've started to do is to use my E-mail and my calendar to help me along. I already have a lot of reminders set up for my work. It helps me to know when to run reports, when to turn in timesheets, and all that kind of stuff. So now, I've set up all kinds of reminders for my personal life as well. And the nice thing is that I can include my family in this too. I've gone through and set appointments with reminders for myself to tidy the kitchen every night, fold laundry, and a bunch of other things. But I've also set all the kid's chores up as appointments as well. There are weekly appointments to take out the trash, mop the floors, and cook dinner one night a week. There is even a monthly reminder to my older son and husband to check the fluids in the cars.
The reminders pop up in their E-mail boxes and for my son, as a text on his cell phone. I even have penalties written right into them. When the task is sent out, it says, this task must be done by bedtime, or you will need to do this and this tomorrow. I think this qualifies as a brilliant idea and I think it will go a long ways towards keeping me on track with my life.
PS: I have another idea, but I need to scoot off to work. I'll post that one another time.
One of the things I struggle with the most is consistency. There is just something in my personal style that rebels against doing anything the same way every time. I never get up at the same time, eat at the same time, I don't do things in the same order, I basically never do the same thing any two days in a row or do anything the same way as anyone else. On the one hand, this gives me a sense of individuality and personal freedom, but on the other hand, it really interfers with my productivity.
Sometimes I really envy people who can do this. Women who always serve chicken on Mondays, spaghetti on Tuesdays, etc. People who can remember to water plants twice a week, people who can schedule their lives with complete regularity and know they'll be able to stick to the same routine week after week. My in-laws were like that and it really fascinated me that they could remember to rotate tires, change furnace filters, and set the coffee maker every single night before bed. I envy people like that, but on the other hand, I also have a mild contempt for them. Routine seems appealing to me, but on the other hand, it seems very boring and predictable and robotic to me and I think that's why I reject it so completely.
Which leaves me stuck with a problem. There are just certain things that need to be done on a schedule and housework is definitely best when done in some kind of a routine manner So, how to integrate my personal style into this process?
As you can see, I'm a computer gal. I spend large chunks of my time on the computer, both at work and at home. I probably have a computer screen in my face for 12 to 15 hours a day, every day. And computers are fabulous at routines. Sounds like a win-win to me!
So what I've started to do is to use my E-mail and my calendar to help me along. I already have a lot of reminders set up for my work. It helps me to know when to run reports, when to turn in timesheets, and all that kind of stuff. So now, I've set up all kinds of reminders for my personal life as well. And the nice thing is that I can include my family in this too. I've gone through and set appointments with reminders for myself to tidy the kitchen every night, fold laundry, and a bunch of other things. But I've also set all the kid's chores up as appointments as well. There are weekly appointments to take out the trash, mop the floors, and cook dinner one night a week. There is even a monthly reminder to my older son and husband to check the fluids in the cars.
The reminders pop up in their E-mail boxes and for my son, as a text on his cell phone. I even have penalties written right into them. When the task is sent out, it says, this task must be done by bedtime, or you will need to do this and this tomorrow. I think this qualifies as a brilliant idea and I think it will go a long ways towards keeping me on track with my life.
PS: I have another idea, but I need to scoot off to work. I'll post that one another time.
2/4/09
Working with your personal style
You know, we all have the same problem - where ever you go, there you are. I know that's an old joke, but it's really true. We all have pretty much the same struggles and basically you can find ways to adapt to your personality, or you can fight against it. Which one do you think will be more successful?
Here's a way that I've done that and been successful and then I'll tell you one that I'm still struggling with. I inherited that "shopping gene" from my mother and I have had a lot of struggles with not being able to control myself in stores. I'm especially bad with discount stores like Wal-Mart, Costco, and even dollar stores. I will go in there for one thing and come out with $50 worth of stuff. So, I have adjusted my lifestyle so I just don't go into the stores. I either buy stuff on-line, or I make lists and I give them to my husband or son - even for groceries. It's a hassle, but it saves me from that sick feeling I get when I've just blown a whole week's grocery money on a bunch of stuff that I wanted, but didn't necessarily need. That's a good example of working with your personality rather than against it.
Here's an example that I'm still struggling with. I like to do things in batches. I don't want to fold one load of laundry, I want to fold 5 loads at once. I don't want to sweep one little patch of floor, I want to sweep ALL my floors. Even at work, I don't want to do one or two invoices at a time when I can wait a day or so and do twenty of them. Even though I know it's much more efficient to do things a little bit at a time, my whole way of operating is that I want to do the big high-visibility clean ups instead of the little everyday cleanups.
So the question is do I work with this trait or against it? I haven't quite figured that one out yet. I never said I had all the answers, did I? I think the answer is going to be some kind of a compromise - define the jobs that really need to be done on a daily basis and then make my peace with doing the larger jobs in big chunks and just schedule them accordingly so they get done on some kind of a sensible time frame.
Here's a way that I've done that and been successful and then I'll tell you one that I'm still struggling with. I inherited that "shopping gene" from my mother and I have had a lot of struggles with not being able to control myself in stores. I'm especially bad with discount stores like Wal-Mart, Costco, and even dollar stores. I will go in there for one thing and come out with $50 worth of stuff. So, I have adjusted my lifestyle so I just don't go into the stores. I either buy stuff on-line, or I make lists and I give them to my husband or son - even for groceries. It's a hassle, but it saves me from that sick feeling I get when I've just blown a whole week's grocery money on a bunch of stuff that I wanted, but didn't necessarily need. That's a good example of working with your personality rather than against it.
Here's an example that I'm still struggling with. I like to do things in batches. I don't want to fold one load of laundry, I want to fold 5 loads at once. I don't want to sweep one little patch of floor, I want to sweep ALL my floors. Even at work, I don't want to do one or two invoices at a time when I can wait a day or so and do twenty of them. Even though I know it's much more efficient to do things a little bit at a time, my whole way of operating is that I want to do the big high-visibility clean ups instead of the little everyday cleanups.
So the question is do I work with this trait or against it? I haven't quite figured that one out yet. I never said I had all the answers, did I? I think the answer is going to be some kind of a compromise - define the jobs that really need to be done on a daily basis and then make my peace with doing the larger jobs in big chunks and just schedule them accordingly so they get done on some kind of a sensible time frame.
2/1/09
Stress Reduction
How is the stress level in your life? We all have stresses in our lives that come and go and some periods in your life are worse than others. If you are struggling with jobs and finances and worrying about the economy, like many people, this period of time can be an especially stressful one for you. Other times, there will be issues with kids, or struggles with family members, or serious health problems to deal with. The list is endless and the stress can be unrelenting.
When the outside world is crazy, that is the time that you need a calm environment in your home even more than ever. Home needs to be your refuge, your place to relax and recharge your batteries to get out there and deal with everything the next day. But if your home is chaotic and disorganized, it deprives you and your family of that needed tranquility.
This doesn't mean that your home needs to be absolutely perfect, or that it needs to look like something right out of a magazine. If anything, homes like that make me a little bit edgy. I'm always worried that I'm going to mess something up, or forget and leave something out of order. But if your counters and floors are clear from clutter and your living areas aren't full of uncompleted projects screaming at you all the time, you will feel a wonderful sense of calm.
Be sure to schedule some time in every day to do something for yourself. Even if it's just 10 minutes to leaf through a magazine, do a quick Yoga workout, or take a little cat nap, it will do a lot to minimize your stress level and recharge your batteries.
I think Moms especially feel guilty about taking these little moments, but really who is going to mind. If you went through your family and took a poll on the matter and asked them - do you think Mom has the right to a few minutes for herself everyday? They'd probably shrug their shoulders and say - sure, why not? So THEY aren't the ones putting the pressure on us, WE are the ones doing it to ourselves. OK Moms, so loosen up a little! The world is NOT going to go to pieces if you take a few minutes here and there to take care of yourself.
When the outside world is crazy, that is the time that you need a calm environment in your home even more than ever. Home needs to be your refuge, your place to relax and recharge your batteries to get out there and deal with everything the next day. But if your home is chaotic and disorganized, it deprives you and your family of that needed tranquility.
This doesn't mean that your home needs to be absolutely perfect, or that it needs to look like something right out of a magazine. If anything, homes like that make me a little bit edgy. I'm always worried that I'm going to mess something up, or forget and leave something out of order. But if your counters and floors are clear from clutter and your living areas aren't full of uncompleted projects screaming at you all the time, you will feel a wonderful sense of calm.
Be sure to schedule some time in every day to do something for yourself. Even if it's just 10 minutes to leaf through a magazine, do a quick Yoga workout, or take a little cat nap, it will do a lot to minimize your stress level and recharge your batteries.
I think Moms especially feel guilty about taking these little moments, but really who is going to mind. If you went through your family and took a poll on the matter and asked them - do you think Mom has the right to a few minutes for herself everyday? They'd probably shrug their shoulders and say - sure, why not? So THEY aren't the ones putting the pressure on us, WE are the ones doing it to ourselves. OK Moms, so loosen up a little! The world is NOT going to go to pieces if you take a few minutes here and there to take care of yourself.
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