Ship Shape Dollars

This is a little essay from my on-line financial advisor Chellie Campbell. I think it ties in nicely with my advice about giving yourself frequent rewards.

“Money won’t make you happy…but everybody wants to find out for themselves.”—Zig Ziglar

My friend, Korey, and I went on a cruise. We worried about gaining weight, since there was so much scrumptious, abundant food supply on board that we couldn’t believe it. There were about twelve meals per day: Pre-breakfast snack, breakfast, after breakfast snack, mid-morning snack, pre-lunch snack, lunch, after lunch snack, afternoon tea, cocktail hors d’oeuvres, dinner, mid-evening snack…by the time the midnight buffet arrived, I couldn’t get so much as another cracker in my mouth!

We decided that we would counter all the food by exercising: Always using the stairs instead of the elevator, making sure to do a lot of walking, dancing in the disco, and going to aerobics class every morning.

We showed up for aerobics class the first morning bright and early. There was a good crowd at the class and the instructor, Debbie, was energetic and upbeat, so a good time was had by all. Debbie was dressed in a cute yellow Royal Caribbean T-shirt and matching visor. At the end of the hour, she gave each one of us a yellow “Ship Shape” dollar and told us that we would get one at the end of each exercise program on the ship. If we collected ten “Ship Shape” dollars, we could redeem them for a yellow T-shirt and visor just like hers. Everyone’s eyes lit up. A free prize? Cool!

You might guess that, as the week wore on, and we partied and danced ‘til the wee hours of the morning, it became increasingly difficult to get up at 7:00 A.M. to go to aerobics class. The wake up call would ring in our rooms, shattering our slothful sleep, and we would groan in chorus. I would say, “I don’t want to get up and go to aerobics this morning, do you?” Korey would say, “No…but I only have five ‘Ship Shape’ dollars. How many have you got?” “I’ve only got four—how did you get five?” “Oh, they gave me one for shuffle board yesterday.” “That’s cheating!” “No, it isn’t, it was exercise!” “Well,” I said, “I’ve got to get up and go to class so I can catch up.”
And we’d both get up and drag our tired bodies to aerobics class.

There were a lot of tired bodies there! But I noticed everyone telling versions of our story: “Well, I was really tired and didn’t want to come today, but I only have six dollars and I need four more to get my T-shirt,” or “I wanted to sleep in, but I need three more dollars!”

It was amazing how people were plugged into this competition for a T-shirt while on this cruise that cost $800 (they could definitely afford to buy themselves a T-shirt if they wanted one).

The lessons of the “Ship Shape” dollars are: 1) Rewards and prizes are fun. 2) People will work hard to get their prizes, no matter what they are. 3) The actual value of the prize doesn’t matter. 4) Therefore, pick prizes to reward yourself when you accomplish your goals!

Today’s Affirmation: “I accept rich rewards—and I deserve them!”

Some Advice from Ben Franklin

I ran across this today and I thought you'd be interested. Even though this is some 200 years out of date and the language is a bit old-fashioned, it's pretty good advice for today:

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
12. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Flylady sayings to help you

Here are some of Flylady's most popular sayings. I can hear these sayings going through my head sometimes and I find them helpful, so I wanted to share them with you:

These run through my head many times a day now after years of Fly-washing. You've changed my attitude in so many areas where keeping house is concerned! Thank you so much! :D (Listed in noparticular order, because they're all great.)

1. Do It Now, Girl! (DING)

2. You don't have to clean like your mother did.

3. Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family!

4. You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to just in where we are, OK?

5. Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps!
6. Your home didn't get messy overnight, and it won't get clean in a day.
7. You can do anything for 15 minutes!

8. Use a timer and make it fun!

9. FLY = Finally Loving Yourself

10. It takes 21 days to form a habit, but for SHE's, it takes a month.

That last one has actually helped me to be patient with myself and to keep sticking with the monthly habits that are sent out, because I'm mentally prepared for it to take a bit longer - but I know I can still do it! :D

Thank you for helping me to realize that even though I thought I was loving myself, I really wasn't. I'd spend too much time "doing nothing" (on the computer or whatever), thinking that was "treating myself", and not enough time loving myself enough to keep my environment peaceful. Now that my environment is gaining more and more peace each day, I realize that loving myself is looking completely different from what it used to - and it's waaaay better!

Blessings to you all,

FLYbaby in Prince George, BC, Canada

Dinner Party for 10

I had a dinner party tonight for ten people - yikes! I'd love to tell you that my house was so wonderful and spotless that I didn't have to do a thing to it, but unfortunately, that's so not the case. I did have to do some cleaning, quite a bit of it actually, but less than I would have in previous years. Back when I lived in California, it would easily have taken me three days to get ready for an event like this.

The nice thing was that I didn't have any big piles of clutter to deal with. I had a few midly cluttered areas to deal with, mostly my desk and our TV room, but mostly it was more about "scrubbing" type cleaning - sweeping, mopping, dusting, vaccuming, and scrubbing all the counters, etc. I think that's why it took so much time.

This group is a supper club group from my church. We take turns every month or so hosting dinners at each family's house. They are all dear friends, but I have to say that they really activate my home insecurities more than most of my guests. I've been to each of their houses and they are not only nicer than mine ($$$), but they are all beautifully decorated and always spotlessly clean. They always seem to pull off their turn at hosting so effortlessly. Their meals always come together so nicely (I forgot the vegetables in the microwave), they always have plenty of plates and silverware (I had to wash forks because we ran out) and everything always goes so smoothly (there was a plate in the stack with old dried food on it that the dishwasher missed - yuck!). Plus it makes me feel a little strange because my husband does most of the cooking. That's just the way we roll and he's a much better cook than I am, but I wonder what they must think of me.

I'm not sure what the lesson is here, but I guess it's just a glimpse that I am far from perfect and that I'm still on my journey too. It was kind of a flashback for me. This is probably the first time in a year or so that I've had to do the all-day crisis clean thing and I had forgotten how much I hated it. I spent a lot of time running around yelling at my family and we didn't get to do anything fun today, despite the fact that we all had a rare day off and it is the last official day of summer for my younger son. It would have been nice to have done something fun today instead of just working all day.

I think if I could go back, I'd do things a little differently. I'd have been a little more diligent in my 15 minute cleanups this week (a little too much Olympic time was a big distraction!), I would have done my Weekly Home Blessing last week and not had so much dirt to deal with this week. I would have focused my attention a little bit better by using my timer more to manage my time and been able to allow some time for something fun in the afternoon. I did use my timer a little, but not as much as I should. Usually when I'm cleaning, I take my timer and spend 10 or 15 minutes in each room and then come back for another round if time allows.

We are having another party on Sunday. We are having another family from church over for lunch after church. That's a good tip on managing your entertainment obligations. Once you get your house all cleaned up, get some extra use out of it by planning two events back-to-back. All I have to do is run the dishes through the dish washer, tidy up a few things here and there and help my husband put together another meal.

Another Top 10 Essay

This is another top 10 Essay that Flylady sent to me. I decide to include it because it not only has good information, but it's got a totally different focus than the earlier list I included. I think the social aspects they share. Many times, this issue of not having a clean house tends to keep us socially isolated from our friends and family members.

Dear FlyLady,

Mind you, there has been a lot of fluttering and flapping over the years since I've joined, and have had MANY attitude adjustments from Marla and Kelly, not to mention the help of the Flycrew, but these are my Top Ten. Amazingly enough, not many have to do with a clean house, although that's why I initially joined.These aren't in any particular order. I cherish them all.

10. Eternal youth. My kids' friends hang out here a lot, and I have time to enjoy them. They see us respect our home, and so they do too, so there goes the myth of added mess. Added bonus, I actually look "cool", knowing band names, phrases, etc., and can reassure other parents that the kids aren't doing/seeing/ listening to anything objectionable.

9. Friends and neighbors drop by often. I know so many people now that I don't rely on just family if I have a problem, and I have can focus on their problem without worrying about how the house looks. My children have a huge sense of community they might not have had otherwise.

8. Spending time with dear husband every night, talking about things other than chores, finances, or what's for dinner. We've been together for over 11 years, and I didn't realize there were still new things to discover about him.

7. Comfortable nooks and crannies. We live in a 1100 square foot home. Once we got rid of the clutter, we discovered plenty of room to read, talk or daydream. There's no cramped feeling here!

6. I've rediscovered myself. From silly things, like knowing my favorite music in 2004, to serious things, like now knowing I have a talent for teaching. I can now tell you where I want to be 5, 10, 15, and 20 years from now.

5. Self assurance. I can honestly say I feel as good about myself at a size 12 as I did at a size 6. It may not seem like much to some, but I have an extended family that is extremely weight conscious, and work with people that run marathons. No worries, I dress myself beautifully, cheer them on with their successes, and enjoy the taste of chocolate without guilt. Talk about the best of all worlds!

4. Reputation. It took several times of listening to your CDs. Guess what I got out of it? Punctuality (I use the Mom's Calendar, but what matters is I use a calendar), following through on projects, since I break them down in babysteps, and honesty, since I tell people, "No, I don't have time." There are no half hearted, half thought out projects done from my home now.

3. Self sufficient children. Since I don't expect perfection from my kids, they are more willing to learn life skills. They know more about laundry, cooking, and keeping house at 14 and 13 than I knew at 29. And they don't look at it as a punishment as I once did. They know they're worth the effort.

2. Self respect. I no longer allow myself to listen to people who build themselves up by tearing others down. At first it was directed at me. When they couldn't find faults, or a reaction, they started on others. (Some are close family that would do this. I couldn't sever ties.) When they tried to include me, I would list that person's virtues. Here's the kicker-they not only backed down, they seek my approval. ME, one they used to run down. I simply applaud them. I'm not a saint. I just made a decision long ago that I would give the encouragement that I desperately needed from FlyLady. Thank you, Marla.

1. Peace. I find peace in the knowledge that there will be times when I need to start over, after all these years. That I am a SHE, and there are lots of us. That clutter will be a constant battle, so I may as well get used to it. That I will always be a closet perfectionist, and that's why this took me over an hour to write this. And that there's peace, because I can always start over. That I had the courage to throw out thousands of pounds of clutter, and a few more ounces won't hurt me. And that I've flown before, and will fly again.

Thank you for giving me ten reasons to Finally Love Myself.

All my love, a FlyBaby in Dearborn Hts, MI

Clutter hurts our children

Here is another Flylady essay on clutter. I think this example of this child is very good. I know that most of you don't have young children like this, but if it it had this dramatic a difference on this child, how much of a difference is it for our older children and for adults even. Before we moved, I hired a cleaning lady to help us get the clutter under control. She spent almost half a day with my 19 year old son, helping him clean and organize his room and weed out several boxes of clutter. He was SO grateful to her and I think it did make him calmer and more relaxed about his room.

Dear FlyLady,

I'm writing to confirm to my FlySisters how clutter affects our mental states. My 5 y/o son was very aggressive, cranky, sassy, and demanding. I tried many discipline methods and they all failed. One day he came home from school to an empty room. I packed all his toys and threw away allt hose junky pieces tomcDonald's toys. I left him 3 matchbox cars, his Magna Doodle, legos, and crayons.

These toys I thought would help him be creative and quieter. I explained to him the basic principles of tough love, thatI only *had* to give him food and a bed. He would have to earn his toys back one at a time. Well, within 3 days I noticed a drastic difference in him. He was calmer, polite, and overall pleasant. One evening I announced that he had managed his behavior perfectly that day and he could choose any toy he wanted out of the stash, he had earned it.

He didn't want a toy, he asked for a bike ride instead. Next day, again great behavior, I offered him a toy from the stash. Again he refused, he asked me to go outside and throw the footballwith him.

My son is a FlyChild!!! He *loves* to be in his room now! He sits quietly on the floor and plays with his 3 matchbox cars ordraws with his MagnaDoodle. I do believe all the 'stuff' in his room was unsettling and overwhelming to him. Poor child couldn't find anything!! I gave him order in his room and he gave me back my sweet son *G*

I can't thank you enough!! I never thought of his 'stuff' as hindering, but alas they are!!

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Flylady

I particularly liked this testimonial because it very much mirrors my experiences with Flylady. I don't do all of the things, like the Evening Routine and I've never managed to get on board with the Control Journal, but some things like the decluttering and the 15 minute routines have been a life saver for me.

These are the top ten things I've learned from Flylady since I joined 17 months ago. They are not in any particular order because every single one is very important to me if I want to keep on FLYing.

1. Evening routine is essential to having a good morning.

2. Looking at and taking care of the mail keeps me from building a hotspot. It also keeps me on target about paying bills on time and not having to pay interest for bills not paid on time.

3. Doing one load of laundry a day and putting it away is so much easier than forgetting about it only to spend the whole day doing and dreading it once a week.

4. I reap the rewards of watering my flowers and pulling out the dead ones 15 minutes at a time. Everyone admires my flower garden and pays me lots of compliments which make me feel so good and my house looks great.

5. Cleaning out the refrigerator and pantry once a week (the day before garbage day) is helping me to not buy a duplicate of what I already have and I'm actually starting to enjoy cooking.

6. Having a menu for the week is the best thing I could do for myself and my family. I no longer have to think about what we're having to eat daily. I write my meals down for the week on desk day. I write a list of what I need for the week on the same paper that I jotted down things that I have run out of during the week. What a blessing this has been!! We only have fast food once a month now instead of twice a week.

7. Having a control journal is essential. I use to have papers and post it notes everywhere. A paper for daily routines. A paper for passwords. Phone numbers written on post it notes everywhere (in my desk, in my purse, and on scrap pieces of paper laying on my kitchen counter). A To Do List for the day. I now have EVERYTHING in my control journal. I can now find any number I need all in one place, my control journal.

8. Having and using a calendar. I now never miss any appointments or meetings or days when I help out in my son's class. I write down EVERYTHING in my calendar... birthdays, weddings, children's projects for school, functions at school, how long I exercised that day, when the lawn company cut the grass, when I got a manicure, haircut, etc. etc.. I mean every single thing that is going on in my life is written in my calendar.

9. DECLUTTERING. Oh, that word is so important to having peace in my home. I have so much time for ME because I don't have to deal with clutter anymore. I have only kept things in my home that make me smile and that I actually use. I have decluttered every part of my home in the past 17 months. I couldn't do it all one a day. It took babysteps. A lot of babysteps.

Actually, in the beginning it was very hard to part with some of the things that I owned. I did not know how to declutter. When I would look at an item I would be asking myself the wrong questions like "How much did I pay for this?" or "Which store did I buy this at?" or I would look at the name brand to decipher whether or not I should toss it thinking oh, I paid too much for that to get rid of it. Now, when I declutter I ask myself a whole different set of questions. I ask myself if I have used or worn that particular item in the past year. Does the item make me smile when I look at it? Does it make me feel good or bad when I wear it? Do I really need two?I have a whole different outlook on shopping. I also ask myself questions when I buy something now like do I really need it? Do I have one like it at home? Can I get alot of use out of it or is it something that I will use or wear once and forget about it. I try to get rid of something at home when I buy something new to keep my closet or home from overflowing with STUFF.It is so much easier to clean without clutter being in the way to frustrate me. It definitely takes less time to clean and organize since I have a home for everything I own.

10. You have taught me how to love myself with all my imperfections. I feel like you are my therapist. I use to be a do it right or not do it at all type of person. I have learned that housework done incorrectly still blesses my home. I never believed that before. I would spend 7 hours cleaning the entire house because I thought that is the right way to clean. I never believed in just swishing and swiping. I had to clean every nook and cranny or I would not think it's clean. My house is always clean now that I have adapted your system. In the old days (pre Flylady) my house would only look clean for one day (the day I spent cleaning it for 7 hours) and messy for the next two weeks because I was so tired from cleaning that I dreaded doing it for the next couple of weeks, until I couldn't stand it anymore. I would clean here and there, but had hotspots everywhere until I major cleaned again. I admit, I had too much stuff and not a place for everything that is why I had hotspots because I didn't know what to do with the stuff.

I cry everytime you send a God Breeze or a testimonial about perfection. I do not want to be or act perfect anymore. I too, like you will not use that word anymore. I hate that word. It is so much more freeing to not obsess and do what I can 15 minutes at a time. Amazingly, I see more results that way.

May God bless you in everything you do. I believe that you are an angel sent from Heaven to help us Flybabies who really need guidance. You have taught me so much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for EVERYTHING you've done for me. I am so glad I found you and I am proud to be one of your Flybabies.

FLYing High in Michigan

The Paper Challenge!

Several of you have mentioned having issues with paper, magazines and/or books. I think this will be a great challenge for you. If you have a greater than average volume of these items, you may want to do this challenge one part at a time over a couple of days. I think the best suggestion is not to take a lot of time and go through them inch by inch, especially for "disposable" items like newspapers and magazines. If you haven't read newspapers in 2-3 days, it's time to let go of them. The same things for magazines - if they're more than 3 issues out of date, they aren't important enough for you to make time to read them.

It might even be helpful for you to cut back on your newspaper and magazine subscriptions. I take the Sunday-only newspaper and I have cut back my magazine subscriptions to the only two magazines I will actually read - People & Oprah. It cuts way down on the paper clutter.

Dear FLY Olympians,

Today our event is in the weight lifting arena.We all have magazines, newspapers, catalogs, phone books and booksthat we need to get out of our home.

I want you to set your timer for 3 minutes and we are going to do the clean and lift with the bags and boxes of paper clutter. Now don't beconcerned about what you are going to do with them right this minute.

I want you to start bagging them up or boxing them up. You may have to double bag them if you don't have canvas bags to put them in.

We are going to do this in several classifications. Each one is just 3 minutes!

1. Gather up the newspapers! Take the bag to your car!

2. Now for the Magazines. Do not stop an look at them! you have had them for a long time it is time to pass them along. Take them to the car and you can either recycle them so we don't have to cut down more trees or donate them around town to waiting rooms or to a charity. The library does not want them! PS: Have your husband take them to work and leave them in the breakroom. That's what I do with mine and they always go fast! I think it's so wasteful to only read a magazine once and then throw away.

3. Next go for that stack of catalogs that you get in the mail everyday. Do not open them up! It is time to save your money for something that you really want! Out to the car they go!

4. Do you have some old phone books hanging around? Four or Five years worth of them. Out they go! Straight to the car! They will recycle too.

5. Now here is the tough one! None of you like to do this one! If you don't love a book, you don't have a place for it or you have two of them; it is time to pass them along to someone else. Your library loves these books. They sell them to raise money for the library. Most libraries have a donation box. Go put the box in the car.(Now...if you have your own household recycle containers that get picked up..place your paper items in the recycle container..and mark your calendar so you can put the container out on pick up day!) Now set your timer for 3 minutes for each one. Get on your Mark, Get Set, Ready, GO!

FlyLady

Flylady's Office in a Bag

More Flylady stuff here. Here are some great tips on bill paying and paper organization

Dear Friends,

I have been studying the list of stressors and what I am finding is that building your routines and a basic weekly plan will help a long way in getting rid of some of these problems that we create for ourselves. A couple of the major stressors in our lives are money and paperwork. Now I can't wave a magic wand and make more money come into your bank account, but I can give you to the tools to help you handle wisely what you do have.

In our basic weekly plan we have a couple of days (no not days; just a few minutes on Wednesday and Friday) set aside to pay your bills and put together a grocery list. What you have told me is that you can't understand why you don't just pay your bills when you have the money. Well I understand why! It is called procrastination and lack of an appointed time to sit down and do them. The bills are hiding in a hot spot on the dining table or floating around in the car or heaven forbid your bottomless pit of a purse. So in order to pay a bill you have to be able to find it. Imagine that; knowing where your bills are, where your checkbook is, and how much money is in the bank, and then being able to find a stamp to mail the envelope. If you had all of this in one place then that would be a stressor turned into a blesser.

Here is how you do this. When you bring the mail in the house; do not pile it on the dining room table. Open it up immediately; don't set it down thinking you will get to it later! Then get rid of the junk mail and put it in one place. Then when Wednesday or Friday rolls around, you will know where they are and that is one less frustrating step that you have to take to pay them.

This is why we developed the Office in a Bag. It doesn't matter what kind of zip up binder you use as long as you keep your necessary items in one place so you can find them. The beauty of using a zip up bag with a carrying strap is that it is portable. So when you have those 15 minutes at soccer practice, your lunch hour or waiting for an appointment; you have everything you need to pay your bills, plan next week's menus and a grocery list.

Just look at all the stress you have relieved by putting together this little tool. Not to mention the money you have saved in late fees and over spending at the grocery store once you actually use your basic weekly plan. With menus, a grocery list in hand and a shopping trip; you will no longer find yourself standing in front of your refrigerator at 6:00 pm saying, "What's for dinner?????"

That is another one of the big stressors in your lives. There is no magic wand here; it all fits together but you have to start by putting a couple of pieces in place. Imagine all the stressors in your life as a big jigsaw puzzle. When you dump the puzzle out of the box; it is a jumbled mess. Then you start by tuning over all the pieces so you can see them clearly. I think this is what our FlyLady emails and website are all about: Looking at things just a little harder and trying to figure out how it all fits together.

Then you start to put the framework together, by finding all the flat sides. This is your routines, basic weekly plan, taking care of yourself, decluttering and keeping that sink shining. Before you know it; the outside frame is put together and you start filling in the various sections. Each little section is one of these stressor that play havoc with your health and life. As you put in place one little section at a time (these are the areas of your life and home that have been in CHAOS) your puzzles gets easier and easier to fill in the missing pieces.

The finished puzzle is a picture of peace for your life. I know this sounds kind of simple but it really is. If you will just start with building your framework of your simple routines (Control Journal), get dressed to shoes each morning and keep your sink shiny; then you will begin to feel a sense of accomplishment and some of your stress will go away! Are you ready to turn the stressors in your life into blessers?

FlyLady

P.S. To see the Office in a Bag and get an idea of what to put inside of it; go look at the photograph on the website. We all have the stuffthat goes inside the bag; that is why we DID NOT include it with the Office in a Bag. http://flylady. net/pages/ FlyShop_OIB. asp

We have also had a lot of people wanting to know how to purchase our tools. There are several ways to find our FlyShop. They are listed asShop our Store, Merchandise and The FLYShop. All the links take you tothe same place. http://flylady. net/pages/ FlyShop.asp

The "One Touch Method"

I read something interesting that I wanted to share with you. It's called The One Touch Method and I found it very interesting. The concept is that you make a resolution that you will only touch things one time whenever possible. For example, if you are cooking and you need a particular spice, you reach into the cupboard, measure the spice into the recipe and rather than set it down on the counter to be put away later, you put the spice directly back into the cupboard. That's so simple, but I could see where that could make a big difference!

When you come home at the end of the day, instead of dumping your shoes and coat somewhere, you could just walk to the closet and put them right where they go. The same with mail. Instead of dumping the pile of mail on your desk to be dealt with later, you would put the junk mail directly in the trash and then put the bills in your bill basket or just deal with them on the spot.

This could be good for eliminating your bathroom clutter. What if you had a basket under the counter with all your daily bathroom items? You'd pickup your toothbrush, use it, put it back in the basket, same with your comb, moisturizer, etc. and then put away the basket. You'd never have any bathroom clutter.

Do you see where this could be a great change to make?

Change - It's a good thing!

This is a mini essay sent out by my Financial Advisor Chellie Campbell:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”—Charles Darwin

How big a risk is it that you’re afraid to take?

To take a risk is to embrace change. It’s been said that the only thing that likes change is a wet baby—and they cry about it. We long for the new, hoping it will be better than the old, but we are terrified it won’t be as good. So we spin a web of habits and endlessly repeat them, forgetting that the web was of our own making. Sometimes it takes what seems, at the time, a tragedy to knock us down so that we are freed to weave a new and finer web of life. We weep and wail and hate the change and curse our fate—and then, so often, find we are better off because of it.

A lost job paves the way to a new and better career. A failed business shows us our mistakes so we do better next time. A friendship’s end opens our lives to new relationships. Our victories in survival create in us depths of understanding, compassion, and empathy.

Life, excitement, drama, experience, learning, and love are on the other side of change. The seed must turn into the flower and the caterpillar into the butterfly. Change leads to growth and the growth to new fulfillment. We must keep growing through the changes, even though we don’t know what’s on the other side. Every experience is valuable. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. What a pity if the seedling were to refuse to flower because it had never done it before. If the caterpillar stayed locked in the cocoon, we would never have butterflies’ shimmering colors gliding on the breeze.

Change. Grow. Flower. Fly. Love.

Today’s Affirmation: “I am endlessly creative. Money flows naturally from my creative endeavors.”

Ideas on Organizing

I was looking for something in the bathroom today and I thought I'd share with you how I organize my bathroom. It's funny, we all have certain things that we do well and it helps us when we focus on the good things instead of the bad things. For instance, no matter how disorganized I was in my house and other areas, I was always fabulously organized when it came to my purse and diaper bags.

I am notably picky about the type of purses I buy and then once I find one, I use it until it literally falls apart. I have to have one that is exactly the right size, not too big and not too small, and it has to have certain pockets. I have to have one for my keys, one for my cell phone, my MP3 player and a large pocket for my checkbook, calendar, and address book. It makes me feel good when I have everything I need with me and I can lay hands on whatever I need within 3 seconds. My diaper bags were the same way - I could always lay hands on the snacks, or a clean outfit or an extra binkie.

That said, I've tried to expand that same organizational skill into other areas of my house. For instance, my bathroom cabinets. I have everything very precisely organized. I keep all of my cold remedies in a ziplock bag under the sink. Same thing for anything stomach-related - antacids, Pepto-Bismol, etc. I have one spot in the drawer for "topicals". Any kind of skin cream or lotion. Another spot in the same drawer for all kinds of elastic bandages and wraps or braces. Then I have a separate drawer that is completely devoted to First Aid supplies. If someone is bleeding, or has a burn, they don't have time to dig around in four different drawers, so they always know where to go for these types of things.

Hope this helps you.

IGAD Disease

Have you got IGAD disease? I hope not! IGAD stand for I've Got All Day and it is the bane of retirees and stay at home mothers. They never manage to buckle down and get anything done because they figure they've got all day to do it. The problem with that is that they fritter away the day on trivialities and never get to the actual work they had planned to do. Even though I am a working Mom, I sometimes fall victim to this disease, especially in my workday. I will fritter my time drinking coffee, or surfing the net, maybe visit with a friend and before I know it half my day is gone and my work is still staring me in the face!

Fortunately, I have a simple cure for IGAD disease. Take one to-do list and a Flylady timer and call me in the morning! It is just amazing how much more focused you are and how much more you can get done in a day if you have that list and that timer to keep you motivated. It's like a magic wand!

For instance, today is Saturday and I've been grumping about how messy my house got while I was away at Convention last week. So I got up, grabbed my timer and jumped right in at 7 AM this morning, still in my nightgown, still unshowered (ew!) and now it's 10:00 and I can relax and enjoy the rest of my day with a sparkling clean house. I just started in my bedroom and did 10 minute sprints in each room. I had to do a couple of double sprints (20 minutes) in some rooms that were really messy, but I made sure not to spend more than 20 minutes on each room. And I just went right down the hallway. Bedroom, check! Bathroom, check! Guest room, check! TV room, check! Desk & dining room, check! I still have the downstairs to do, but I'll catch that tonight and get the boys to help me while we are watching the Olympics.

See how easy that was! Your house can get out of control amazingly fast when you fall off track for a few days, but it's surprising how quickly you can pull it back together. All it takes is your timer and your list!

My Friend Barry by Linda Hastings

This doesn't have a darn thing to do with house cleaning, but I'm sharing it with you anyway, just because I liked it. This came to me through my daily inspiration messages from Zig Ziglar.

MY FRIDAY STORY
My Friend Barry
By Linda Hastings
© September 2007

I first met Barry in the mid-80's while working as the secretary for the President of a limousine company in the town where I grew up, a suburb of Dallas. My boss, Charles was the newly appointed President of the National Limousine Association based in Washington, DC. Barry, a man nearly twice my age and also serving on the board lived near the Associations' headquarters and would routinely call to discuss issues with my boss. When Barry would call he would exuberantly say "Good morning!!!" and you could tell from his voice and tone that it really was!

Being a young mother of two small daughters, often it was well up into the day before my morning felt "good" to me. Usually fatigued from the daily routine of getting dinner the night before, baths, making lunches, helping with homework, and then getting up early to rush the girls off to school and drive the 20+ miles to work in traffic, I would be doing well to muster up a smile, much less any enthusiasm, yet Barry's calls would always rejuvenate me.

As time went on, I found myself anxiously awaiting his phone calls. He would always ask about my family and before long he knew as much about my family as my closest friends. He would be genuine in his interest to hear how the girls were doing as well as my husband, Bill.
His laughter was contagious and his zest for life always made me glad he called. Barry spoke of his family too, a wife of many years, children and his most recent family addition, a grandson.

You could tell from our conversations that he not only loved life, but also his family. In the spring of '88 his work with the Association would bring him to Dallas. When he called to tell me the news that he would, at last, get to meet me in person, I was ecstatic! I had long wondered what he looked like and wanted to see for myself if that enthusiasm on the phone was indeed something that was the 'real deal'.

Barry arrived some weeks later and chose to stay over on Saturday to see some of the Dallas area. He had asked if Bill, the girls and I were up for showing him around and I jumped at the opportunity, saying "yes" without first checking with the family.

As it turned out, there was a softball tournament that Saturday and Bill, being an assistant coach, could not get out of attending it. Feeling bad that I had already accepted the invitation to show him the city, I begged off from sitting in the stands for hours watching teams of children play softball (none of which included my own) and said nothing to Barry of the change in plans.
On that Saturday we were to meet at his hotel for brunch. His treat! When I arrived alone he was hugely disappointed that the girls and Bill were not with me. I explained the circumstances and he asked if we could include a trip to the ball fields as part of our excursion that day and I agreed. Little did I know that the events of that day would change me forever!

Barry was a gentleman in every sense of the word and his attitude and humor kept me entertained throughout the entire day - one surprise after another. However, it was the way he treated others that would remain with me and alter my ways of thinking for a lifetime.

It started first with the waitress at brunch. He made sure he knew her name and called her by it throughout the morning meal, but it didn't stop there. He complimented her on the tiniest of tasks and genuinely showed an interest in every part of her job. When she warmed up to us, his humor kicked in. When she asked if we were from out of town, he remarked that he had flown in because we were getting married that afternoon! He continued by asking her if she didn't agree that I was the most beautiful woman in the world and wouldn't I make a lovely bride for him.

Obviously, the waitress didn't know what to say seeing that we were years apart in age, so she smiled and agreed with him. He went on with his charade as I sat smiling and listening to his ridiculous story. All the while he made it remarkably believable. When she walked away, I laughed and told him how crazy he was and he laughed just as hard as I.

Throughout our meal our waitress would provide the best of service, coming to check on us regularly and offering anything that she could possibly bring us. It was obvious that she couldn't get enough of Barry and his outlandish story and every time she appeared at the table, he added to it even going so far as to invite her to the 'wedding' that afternoon.

It was hard to contain myself as I wondered what he would do if she accepted. I could tell from that first experience I was in for a day full of surprises and Barry didn't disappoint me. After walking out into the lobby, still laughing about his charade with the waitress, we encountered the hotel custodian, an elderly black man with graying hair and a demeanor so low I sensed immediately that he wanted to be invisible. As he polished and cleaned the lobby tables and doors we stood talking about the day's agenda.

Barry wanted to run up to his room and get his sunglasses and I told him I'd wait there in the lobby for him. We were standing near the elevator and the custodian had made his way over to clean out the ashtrays. I remember them being the ones with the sand on the top that, when freshened up, had the hotel's logo pressed into the clean sand.

Barry went into action! He greeted the elderly custodian with the warmest "hello, good morning, sir" that I have ever heard - much like that between two long lost friends at a chance meeting. The custodian smiled and softly returned a shy "hello" back as he continued with the ashtrays. Barry was relentless.

"How are you (waiting for his name) today?" The old man replied "Oh, fine".

"And what is your name, sir?" The old man replied with his first name, Henry.

"Well, Mr. Henry." Barry began. "No, sir, that's my first name, Henry. Me's last name is Turner", was his reply.

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Turner", Barry said. Mr. Turner now smiling and standing a little straighter and taller turned to look towards me. I returned the smile, waiting to see what was in store for us both from Barry.

He continued. "Mr. Turner, how long have you worked for the hotel?" he asked.

"Oh, nearly five years now" came his reply.

"And do you take care of this beautiful lobby all by yourself, or do you have help?"
Barry continued to pry. "No sir, I do it all by myself, ain't got no helpers, don't need nobody, I likes doing it real nice by myself" he answered.

Barry then walked towards the ash try he had just finished restoring to perfection. "Mr. Turner, how do you get that logo in the sand like that, I have often wondered how it's done and you're the first person I have ever seen who could actually tell me." Mr. Turner, now standing tall and confident walked over to the next ashtray and proceeded to show Barry the tricks of the trade so to speak. He carried a rubber stamp in his supplies that when pressed into the smoothed out sand made the logo prominent. "Jest like that, sir", was Mr. Turner's reply.

Barry studied the logo in the sand intently and turned to Mr. Turner and remarked, "well, I'll be - that is impressive if I must say so - and that must take practice to get it right in the center and make it stand out like that - yes, a real art I'd say".

Barry had turned his total and complete attention to the aging custodian, showing him a genuine interest in this mundane tasks and Mr. Turner was thriving on the attention he was getting. The elevator arrived and Barry went up. The elderly custodian began to whistle a little tune as he continued his cleaning and when he got to the next ashtray, he stood looking at his work as an artist does upon completing a masterpiece.

Sitting silently in the lobby glancing through a magazine I began to take it all in. I marveled at the changes that had come over Mr. Turner - he walked tall now to the next ash tray, his head held high, a smile on his withered face and he whistled softly - a transformation made in only moments by an act of respect and a few spoken words.

The remainder of the day proved to be more of the same as we visited historical locations, shops and even the ball fields where we found the girls and Bill intently watching the softball tournament. Everywhere we went Barry made the people he encountered feel like they were the owner or president of their company, or could be! His enthusiasm and concentrated interests in whatever they were doing brought smiles and opened conversation everywhere we went.

Later that night, alone with my thoughts, I re-played the video in my mind of Barry making small talk with total strangers standing near us in a line, the waitress, Mr. Turner and even the way he reacted when meeting my family. What a difference he made in the lives of those he would never meet again, whose day was made more special because of a word, a smile, a story.
I closed my eyes and thought to myself, I want to live my life just like Barry - making those I encounter feel important everywhere I go! The following year, the limousine company I worked for declared bankruptcy and closed its doors. I was handed the word processor on my desk as payment for my last two weeks at work.

School was about to end for summer vacation and I decided to take that time to enjoy it with the girls and think of what I would do next. Barry stayed in touch with me, making sure I would be all right in light of my sudden loss of work and an income. I assured him I was fine and that I would bounce back come September when school started back and that I would find other employment.

It was then that Barry began to encourage me to start my own business - he reminded me that I had the knowledge and personality to be successful and now I had an expensive tool by which to get started - the computer. At first it seemed more like the story of us getting married that day - totally ridiculous - but he wouldn't let it go.

As we continued to converse over the summer it became more and more evident that he was right - I could do it! I spent the summer gearing up for my new company, "Secretarial Solutions" and on the first day of school while dropping the girls off I heard a knock on my van window. I rolled down the glass and a gentleman asked for my business card.

Puzzled, I asked, "What business card?" forgetting the signs on the side of our van advertising my new business. He smiled, "Isn't this your van?" "Yes" I replied and then snapped to what he meant and scrambled to find my new business card to hand him. He became my very first customer!

For the remaining 4 years my business grew and I thrived. Barry was there for me each time I needed advice or direction and always for encouragement. Whenever I found an opportunity - which was daily - I put into action what Barry had shown me - and even today it is the standard by which I live.

Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to Barry Locke, and then I smile knowing if he isn't still here on earth making people feel important, he is surely in heaven making up stories to entertain the angels!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Linda has been writing for a number of years now and writes about true experiences that are near and dear to her heart. Many of her stories are tributes to family members. In addition to writing, Linda is a full time Executive Assistant with two grown daughters and a loving husband that enjoys spending leisure time with her on the lake or on their Harley Davidson. Linda's love for writing stories began when her children were small; she would create tales to entertain them using their names and their friends as the characters. Linda's stories have been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, the book and the weekly newspaper syndicate, Fort Worth Business Press and you may recognize her name from other stories she has shared on MyDailyInsights as well. You can reach Linda at lghastings@embarqmail.com

7 Steps to a Clean Bathroom

Today's message is thanks to Jeff Campbell of TheCleanTeam.com

How to Clean Your Bathroom In 20 Minutes Or Less

Think you can't clean your bathroom in under 20 minutes? Think again. The key to a sparkling bathroom is regular cleaning and organization. You probably already know that. But do you know how to achieve that goal?

Here are the 7 essential -- and easy -- steps for getting the job done. (Quickly.) Before you get started, make sure you have the essential tools on hand. This includes cleaning cloths, scrubbing pads, toothbrushes (for those hard to tackle spots bathrooms are famous for), liquid or powdered cleanser, all purpose cleaner and mirror/window cleaner. All set? Now just turn on your stop watch and let the time fly!

Step 1: Shower Power
Soap scum and hard water deposits are two of the hardest substances to clean (No kidding!, you're probably thinking.) Here's how to knock out that scum without busting your bum:

Use a product that is specially designed to attack that scum. Tile Juice and Scum Bum are examples. Apply and scrub from top to bottom using a circular motion. Scrub the plumbing hardware as you come to it.

If you have shower doors, scrub with your tile cleaner along the inside of the doors. Use a toothbrush to get out the gunk lodged in the tracks. Leave the outside of the doors for Step 5.
Use a powdered or liquid cleanser to scrub your tub (less is more here) and then switch to a toothbrush to break up any mold growing where tub meets the wall.

Once you have scrubbed every surface in your shower, only then should you rinse it all thoroughly with cold water. Start with the walls and doors; end with the tub. If you don't already have a detachable showerhead, consider investing in one: It will make your life *much* easier.

Total cleaning time: 6 minutes.

Step 2: Make Your Sink Shine
Move on to cleaning out the bowl of your sink with the same technique you used to clean your tub. Lightly apply the cleanser with a scrubbing pad, using circular motions. Only clean the bowl of your sink. Do not clean your faucets or your vanity. You'll get to that in Step 6.

Total cleaning time: 1 minute.

Step 3: Tackle Your Toilet Bowl
For cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl, some like to use cleanser. Others go straight to bleach. Still others prefer the natural route: baking soda followed by a vinegar chaser (it foams -- your kids will love to help with this part!) Whatever your preferred cleaning material, make sure you scrub thoroughly around the bowl and under the rim. As you flush, hold your toilet scrubber under the water flow to rinse it clean, too. Only clean the bowl of your toilet. Do not clean the outside -- you'll get to that in Step 6.

Total cleaning time: 2 minutes.

Step 4: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Shine all the mirrors in your bathroom by spraying them with a glass cleaner and wiping them with a lint-free cloth. Work from top to bottom and make sure the surface is completely dry when you're finished. If you're still using messy newspaper to get a streak-free finish, give cloth a try. It will make your life easier and leave your fingers cleaner.

Total cleaning time: 1 minute.

Step 5: Shower Power, Part Deux
If you have shower doors, now is the time to clean the outside of them. (Or, if you are one of the lucky ones with a curtain, you can go straight to the next and final step!) Shine the outside of the doors just like you did the mirrors, with glass/window spray and a dry, lint-free cloth. Usually the only area of the door that needs cleaning is where people touch the door to open and close it.

Total cleaning time: 1 minute.

Step 6: Think Sink (and Toilet)
Using a dry, clean cloth and an all-purpose spray, clean the top of your vanity and shine your faucets. For stubborn spots, use your toothbrush. Now turn your attention to the seat and outside of your toilet. Spray the seat (top and bottom) and the lid, plus all those plastic joints. Scrub quickly and wipe clean with a damp towel. Don't forget about that grubby area at the bottom of your toilet. Too gross to clean? Turn to your ally the toothbrush for making quick work of this unpleasant task.

Total cleaning time: 4 minutes.

Step 7: Finish With Floor-ish
You're nearly done. Don't lose steam now! There are lots of ways to clean a floor, but there's only one way to clean a bathroom floor: The old fashioned way (aka, on your hands and knees). Start in the back corner of the bathroom and work your way to the door. Spray all-purpose cleaner as you go, wiping it up with dry cloths. As your cloth gets littered with hair and other bathroom debris, fold your cloth in half. When there's no more cloth to fold, grab a new one.

Total cleaning time: 2 minutes.

You're done! You did it! Now that wasn't too bad, was it? Take a moment to admire your handiwork and check your stopwatch. If all went well, you've got 180 seconds to spare in your 20-minute allotment. If you went over 17 minutes, don't worry. Doing this every week means you'll get many (many, many) chances to shave your time. Save even more time by using a shower squeegee after each shower!

CFC Feeling - Clean for Company

This is one of Pam Youngs 365 Surprises - she is one of the ladies in the video we watched.

Have you noticed that when you are going to have company, it's almost as if you get a new pair of eyes? You start seeing your home through the eyes of "the company," and you get a special spurt of motivation to clean and tidy up. I know when I'm expecting company I want every room to look extra special, because I want "the company" to "ooo and ahhh," and talk about my home behind my back: "I was in Pam Young's home and it was just absolutely lovely. What a woman she is. She is just fabulous!" (It is fun to pretend.)

That CFC (Clean For Company) feeling is normal. We all love compliments and we love to get approval not only from our immediate family, but especially from people outside of our immediate family. In fact we just plain love approval where ever we can get it! When we are raising our babies it is so important to compliment them generously every day, because much of our work as parents is to correct and teach. Our children love us to pay positive attention to them. When I look back to when my kids were young, some of the most common sentences I heard were, "Look Mom," "Watch this Mom," "Look at me Mom," "Mom, watch me."

I think one of the reasons the House Fairy works with our children is because they go into Clean For Company mode. Their precious imaginations kick into gear and suddenly they find delight in the mundane. The House Fairy's coming! The House Fairy Program is chock full of positive, loving ways to motivate, inspire,reinforce and recognize children's good behavior. To join go to www.housefairy.org