Does the thought of having people over to your house freak you out? Flylady calls that CHAOS - Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Before I came up with my cleaning and decluttering system, I used to do that too. Having guests over was a virtual guarantee of several days of panicky activity as I would run around doing crisis cleaning and yelling at my family the whole time. But now it's no big deal and I have company over all the time. It's fabulous!
We're having about 12 to 15 people over for New Year's and getting ready for it was pretty easy. Even with it being on a weekday after a whole day of work. All I really had to do was stick to my daily routines. That took care of the basics like dishes, laundry, and making beds. Then I used my 15 minute clean-up time to clean one room each morning and delegated another one to my husband when he got home. His TV room was in pretty bad shape, so I'm sure it took more than 15 minutes, but he did a great job on it and it will be all set for a week or two. It took the boys a bit longer than that to do the downstairs family room, but that's Matt's fault. I swear that boy simply explodes when he hits a room! His keys are in one place, his wallet is in another and his shoes, CD's and magazines are everywhere. I guess that's a teenager for you!
Matt is in charge of floors, so I've had him doing a bit of sweeping and mopping in different areas every night and Blake has been keeping up on the trash and the cat boxes. All I had to do was do a bit of dusting, clear some everyday stuff off the kitchen counters and give the bathrooms a quick scrub. Then I can spend a couple of hours this evening setting up tables and chairs and preparing the food and still be nice and fresh to enjoy my evening with my guests.
This is exactly what I try to teach in my classes. I've spent too many Saturdays frantically scrubbing and cleaning to want anyone else to have to go through that hassle again. With the daily routines I teach, along with proper decluttering and learning how to get your family on board, having friends and family over can be fun and virtually stress-free. Click HERE to get more info on my new round of classes starting in January.
12/31/08
12/30/08
Time to Take the Tree Down
OK, we've all done it, but let's not do it this year. We all know people who still have the Christmas decorations up clear into March, but that's not going to happen this year. Yes, it's a big job, but you can do it fairly quickly and then you'll be done for another year.
My mother was quite superstitious and we should be horrified that I am keeping my tree up past the New Year. She felt that it would bring the spirit of the past year into the new year and Lord knows, 2008 has been gnarly enough, but I'm not as superstitious as she was. And I have a reason this year. We are having a New Year's Eve party and since we didn't really have anyone over during the holidays, I'd like people to see my pretty decorations before I store them all away. But I promise you, it is coming down no later than January 2nd! If nothing else, I want my living room back.
So, how to go about it? Well, there are two schools of thought here - a bit at a time, or the whole enchilada? I know myself and I know if I do it a bit at a time, I won't get back to it for days, so I always opt for the whole enchilada. If you want to do it a bit at a time, schedule 15 minute sessions once or twice a day with the goal to have it done by the end of the week.
If you're going to do it all at once, set aside an evening (like tonight!) when some of Santa's helpers will be around to help you. I have my husband and son do all the lugging of boxes up and down the stairs while I do the more delicate work of packing everything up so nothing gets broken. Most of my decorations are hand made and very precious to me, so I don't usually like for anyone else to put them away. Then if I break something, I can't get too mad at myself.
I use the empty boxes to store all my everyday decorations, so it's more like redecorating than undecorating. Keep a store of tissue paper or newspaper handy for the more delicate ornaments and be sure to put the heavier stuff on the bottom. Don't forget the outside decorations. Maybe not the lights until ice and snow go away, but be sure you get all the wreaths and stuff from outside. Don't forget to take one last sweep around the house before you put away the last box. There's nothing like forgetting one darn thing and having to dig everything back out to put it away. Or worse, having it hanging around the house all year.
That's it. Bye-bye for another year Christmas decorations. Go and have yourself a cup of hot cocoa. You've earned it.
12/29/08
I HATE filing!
I'm at work today and it's kind of a slow day, so I am catching up on my most hated task - FILING! I don't know why I dislike filing so much, but I always have and that isn't likely to change soon.
So the question is, how do you approach a task you really dislike doing?
- Put it off and hope it chokes and dies! (Appealing, but not likely)
- Pay someone to do it for you (outsource it to India??)
- Foist it off on someone who doesn't mind doing it, or trade a job someone else hates that you don't mind doing. I do this one a lot around the house. There are some jobs that people like and some they don't. I will take dishes over mopping every time, for example.
- Do a little every day so it doesn't pile up to a big ugly job
- Simplify the task so you can get it out of the way quickly
- Offer yourself a reward for doing it (hey, this works on my kids!).
- Get someone to do it with you so you can at least have some company while doing it.
For filing, I take an approach that hits most of these points. First of all, I do put it off for as long as I can get away with it. It's not a critical part of my job, so I can do that without too much guilt and that's better for me than having to face it every week or so. I usually can fit about 3 months worth of work into my desk storage before I really feel like I need to clear it out and move it to my filing cabinet.
I'm rarely able to foist it off on someone, but I have managed to a couple of times. There's been a few times when my kids were in the office and I was able to bribe them into doing it for me. Also, my co-worker doesn't mind filing, so sometimes I can trade a job with her or at least get her to help me with it so I've got someone to talk to.
Also, I have simplified the job so it is MUCH easier and quicker to do. I used to sort all my invoices by area code and month, and it would take me about 3-4 hours to do. Then I realized that I only dig into my files about half a dozen times a year, so it's not really worth the time and effort to sort them so much. Now, I just sort them by the 1st number in the area code (all the 2's, 3's, 4's, etc.) and dump them into a big folder. So if I need to find something in the 208 area code, I only have to dig through one folder and maybe 75 invoices to find it. Now the job only takes me about 2 hours and everything fits in one drawer, so it's easier to find things.
What job do you hate that you end up putting off all the time? What can you do to make it easier?
So the question is, how do you approach a task you really dislike doing?
- Put it off and hope it chokes and dies! (Appealing, but not likely)
- Pay someone to do it for you (outsource it to India??)
- Foist it off on someone who doesn't mind doing it, or trade a job someone else hates that you don't mind doing. I do this one a lot around the house. There are some jobs that people like and some they don't. I will take dishes over mopping every time, for example.
- Do a little every day so it doesn't pile up to a big ugly job
- Simplify the task so you can get it out of the way quickly
- Offer yourself a reward for doing it (hey, this works on my kids!).
- Get someone to do it with you so you can at least have some company while doing it.
For filing, I take an approach that hits most of these points. First of all, I do put it off for as long as I can get away with it. It's not a critical part of my job, so I can do that without too much guilt and that's better for me than having to face it every week or so. I usually can fit about 3 months worth of work into my desk storage before I really feel like I need to clear it out and move it to my filing cabinet.
I'm rarely able to foist it off on someone, but I have managed to a couple of times. There's been a few times when my kids were in the office and I was able to bribe them into doing it for me. Also, my co-worker doesn't mind filing, so sometimes I can trade a job with her or at least get her to help me with it so I've got someone to talk to.
Also, I have simplified the job so it is MUCH easier and quicker to do. I used to sort all my invoices by area code and month, and it would take me about 3-4 hours to do. Then I realized that I only dig into my files about half a dozen times a year, so it's not really worth the time and effort to sort them so much. Now, I just sort them by the 1st number in the area code (all the 2's, 3's, 4's, etc.) and dump them into a big folder. So if I need to find something in the 208 area code, I only have to dig through one folder and maybe 75 invoices to find it. Now the job only takes me about 2 hours and everything fits in one drawer, so it's easier to find things.
What job do you hate that you end up putting off all the time? What can you do to make it easier?
12/28/08
The Power of Little Minutes
I think one thing that separates the "cleanie" types from the "messy" types is the way they use their spare minutes. We tend to want to do our housework in big blocks of time while they tend to do theirs for just a few minutes at a time numerous times during the day.
The big problem with this system is that big blocks of cleaning time don't present themselves very often. And in between the blocks of cleaning time, the house is deteriorating around you minute by minute.
On the other hand, little minutes present themselves numerous times every day. You can slip in a quick tidy up when things are cooking in the microwave, while you're talking on the phone, while you're waiting for the kids to get dressed. You can tidy the bathroom while your young children are having their bath, or tidy up their room while they are getting dressed. When you start looking for these opportunities, you'll find them everywhere throughout your day.
You're probably thinking that you can't get much done in just a few minutes, but you would really be amazed! I've timed it and I can empty my dishwasher in three minutes, fold a load of laundry in five, and sweep my kitchen floor in ten.
Here is a good example of one of these quick time clean ups. This is my bathroom counter. It doesn't always look like this, but I do find that "my" rooms tend to get a lot less attention than the more "public" areas of my house.
Here is how it looked at the five minute mark. Looks a lot better, doesn't it?
Five minutes later, I had the rest of it done and look how great it looks. Ten minutes flat to a nice clean bathroom counter. Another couple of minutes to swish the toilet and sweep and mop the floor and voila! I had a completely clean bathroom.
That's a good way to accomplish a clean up in a very short period of time. However, an even better strategy would be to spend just one or two minutes every day to put my things away and give the counter and toilet a quick swipe. That's what the clean people do and Lord knows it's easy enough to do.
But if I do fall down on the job - again. At least I know I'm only 15 minutes from starting all over again.
The big problem with this system is that big blocks of cleaning time don't present themselves very often. And in between the blocks of cleaning time, the house is deteriorating around you minute by minute.
On the other hand, little minutes present themselves numerous times every day. You can slip in a quick tidy up when things are cooking in the microwave, while you're talking on the phone, while you're waiting for the kids to get dressed. You can tidy the bathroom while your young children are having their bath, or tidy up their room while they are getting dressed. When you start looking for these opportunities, you'll find them everywhere throughout your day.
You're probably thinking that you can't get much done in just a few minutes, but you would really be amazed! I've timed it and I can empty my dishwasher in three minutes, fold a load of laundry in five, and sweep my kitchen floor in ten.
Here is a good example of one of these quick time clean ups. This is my bathroom counter. It doesn't always look like this, but I do find that "my" rooms tend to get a lot less attention than the more "public" areas of my house.
Here is how it looked at the five minute mark. Looks a lot better, doesn't it?
Five minutes later, I had the rest of it done and look how great it looks. Ten minutes flat to a nice clean bathroom counter. Another couple of minutes to swish the toilet and sweep and mop the floor and voila! I had a completely clean bathroom.
That's a good way to accomplish a clean up in a very short period of time. However, an even better strategy would be to spend just one or two minutes every day to put my things away and give the counter and toilet a quick swipe. That's what the clean people do and Lord knows it's easy enough to do.
But if I do fall down on the job - again. At least I know I'm only 15 minutes from starting all over again.
12/21/08
My Story
Here is my story and how my Messy Mom's program came into being. It has taken me more than 20 years to finally feel comfortable with my house and my level of organization. I have learned a lot along the way, both about myself and about the basics of housecleaning. I got to a point where I felt like I wanted to be able to share these tips with other women who are in the same position as I was.
I think for a lot of us the messy house issue is rooted in childhood. Whether your Mom kept a clean house or a messy house, it has an effect on you. My husband and I came from completely opposite backgrounds. His Mom was definitely a perfectionist and kept a very clean house, but because she never allowed him to participate in the cleaning and never required him to do the daily things that are necessary to keep his own space clean, he never learned how to do it himself. I'm sure there was also a habit of rebelling against her because she was always nagging him about keeping things picked up.
In my case, I grew up in a fairly messy house. My Mom was a single, working Mom who worked basically every day of my entire childhood. She left the house at 7:00 in the morning, dropped me off at the sitters and picked me up again at 6:00 or so. Then we popped in TV dinners for dinner and spent the remainder of the evening watching TV, reading books, and working on our craft projects. Dishes were left in the sink for the weekend, laundry was done once a week and vacuuming and dusting were done once a month, if we thought to get around to it.
That's nothing against my Mom, it's just that she had other responsibilities in her life and other priorities. After working all day and all week, she felt like the rest of her time should be spent relaxing and spending time with me. The TV was on virtually all the time. She rarely cooked, and people almost never came over to our house, so it wasn't a problem if our house was cluttered or messy and it usually was. She was a bit of a compulsive shopper and having grown up in the Depression, she rarely, if ever discarded anything, so we had a lot of "stuff".
So when my husband and I got married 25 years ago, we both had a lot of challenges as far as the house cleaning goes. Neither of us had any concept of daily cleaning routines, or felt that housework was a priority. We also both worked full time and since we had custody of his son, we had a three year old child to care for most of the time.
By the time we had been married for several years, we had a perpetually messy house, were fighting constantly about the housework, and had accumulated a LOT of "stuff" that we were constantly trying to get a handle on. I think the real eye-opener for me was when we moved from California to Utah. We were living in a mobile home that had belonged to my parents and they had left a lot of their stuff behind for us to deal with. When we moved, it took us a 15 foot moving truck, which was absolutely crammed to the gills, plus we had filled up every inch of my car which my parents had driven with our boys who were then 3 and 11. At the last minute, we ended up filling up the bed of my husband's full-sized truck, plus a 10 foot U-haul trailer. In addition, we left behind a whole side yard full of trash and a few items we really wanted, but didn't have room for.
I had no idea that we had that much stuff until I saw it all in one place. From that point, I started shedding stuff. I started taking a really close look at what I had and how much of it, I really didn't need. We had also bought a really gorgeous house in a very nice neighborhood, so I was really motivated to want to keep it clean. I started doing regular clear-outs of our clothes, books, movies, and toys. By the time we made our next move, a year or so later, we had about 20% less stuff.
We made a couple of more moves over the next decade and each time, I made a big point of decluttering more and more stuff and got a better handle on the overshopping problem so I wasn't bringing so much stuff in. I also started to work on building some cleaning routines that worked well for myself and my family. About this time, we got a computer and started to get access to that "new" thing called the Internet (yes, I am THAT old!).
I found a website called Flylady.com that really saved my life. She started to teach me that being messy wasn't something I needed to be ashamed of. I wasn't a bad person and I wasn't alone. I was just doing the best I had known how to do and if I would just start building some simple daily routines I could get a better handle on things and be happier with my life and my house. I didn't have to be perfect and I didn't have to spend all my time cleaning. In fact, one thing I discovered is that as a messy person, I spent much more time cleaning than the clean people did because they don't wait until it gets so far out of control that it takes whole days to clean things up.
By the time I turned 40, I began to be very interested in changing virtually all aspects of my life, including my housecleaning habits. I began to read self-help books - LOTS of them. I read books, listened to audio tapes, and bought movies of all the major self-help authors of the 20th century, including Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Tony Robbins and more others than I can count.
I also got numerous books by all the "cleaning gurus" - Flylady, Sandra Felton, Julie Morgenstern, and many others. And I worked weekly with a personal coach. Very slowly, things in my life started to change, bit by bit. I began to have a most positive attitude. I began to look at the problems in my life in a different light and to see more possibilities to resolve them. I began to have more hope for the future and to take more responsibilities for my actions.
As I began to get my house in order (both literally and figuratively), I wanted to share what I had learned with other women who were facing the same challenges. I love to write, so I started reviewing the books I had and started putting building some lessons. I did some advertising and started teaching my first classes. I didn't have a lot of attendees in the beginning, but I was so encouraged when I started seeing what a difference these classes were making in the lives of my students.
I continue to work towards my goal of perfecting my routines and getting my house exactly the way I want it, but as long as I continue to make progress, I'm content. Perfection is never the goal, just progress, and when I look back to where I started and see how far I've come, I can see that I am well on my way.
I think for a lot of us the messy house issue is rooted in childhood. Whether your Mom kept a clean house or a messy house, it has an effect on you. My husband and I came from completely opposite backgrounds. His Mom was definitely a perfectionist and kept a very clean house, but because she never allowed him to participate in the cleaning and never required him to do the daily things that are necessary to keep his own space clean, he never learned how to do it himself. I'm sure there was also a habit of rebelling against her because she was always nagging him about keeping things picked up.
In my case, I grew up in a fairly messy house. My Mom was a single, working Mom who worked basically every day of my entire childhood. She left the house at 7:00 in the morning, dropped me off at the sitters and picked me up again at 6:00 or so. Then we popped in TV dinners for dinner and spent the remainder of the evening watching TV, reading books, and working on our craft projects. Dishes were left in the sink for the weekend, laundry was done once a week and vacuuming and dusting were done once a month, if we thought to get around to it.
That's nothing against my Mom, it's just that she had other responsibilities in her life and other priorities. After working all day and all week, she felt like the rest of her time should be spent relaxing and spending time with me. The TV was on virtually all the time. She rarely cooked, and people almost never came over to our house, so it wasn't a problem if our house was cluttered or messy and it usually was. She was a bit of a compulsive shopper and having grown up in the Depression, she rarely, if ever discarded anything, so we had a lot of "stuff".
So when my husband and I got married 25 years ago, we both had a lot of challenges as far as the house cleaning goes. Neither of us had any concept of daily cleaning routines, or felt that housework was a priority. We also both worked full time and since we had custody of his son, we had a three year old child to care for most of the time.
By the time we had been married for several years, we had a perpetually messy house, were fighting constantly about the housework, and had accumulated a LOT of "stuff" that we were constantly trying to get a handle on. I think the real eye-opener for me was when we moved from California to Utah. We were living in a mobile home that had belonged to my parents and they had left a lot of their stuff behind for us to deal with. When we moved, it took us a 15 foot moving truck, which was absolutely crammed to the gills, plus we had filled up every inch of my car which my parents had driven with our boys who were then 3 and 11. At the last minute, we ended up filling up the bed of my husband's full-sized truck, plus a 10 foot U-haul trailer. In addition, we left behind a whole side yard full of trash and a few items we really wanted, but didn't have room for.
I had no idea that we had that much stuff until I saw it all in one place. From that point, I started shedding stuff. I started taking a really close look at what I had and how much of it, I really didn't need. We had also bought a really gorgeous house in a very nice neighborhood, so I was really motivated to want to keep it clean. I started doing regular clear-outs of our clothes, books, movies, and toys. By the time we made our next move, a year or so later, we had about 20% less stuff.
We made a couple of more moves over the next decade and each time, I made a big point of decluttering more and more stuff and got a better handle on the overshopping problem so I wasn't bringing so much stuff in. I also started to work on building some cleaning routines that worked well for myself and my family. About this time, we got a computer and started to get access to that "new" thing called the Internet (yes, I am THAT old!).
I found a website called Flylady.com that really saved my life. She started to teach me that being messy wasn't something I needed to be ashamed of. I wasn't a bad person and I wasn't alone. I was just doing the best I had known how to do and if I would just start building some simple daily routines I could get a better handle on things and be happier with my life and my house. I didn't have to be perfect and I didn't have to spend all my time cleaning. In fact, one thing I discovered is that as a messy person, I spent much more time cleaning than the clean people did because they don't wait until it gets so far out of control that it takes whole days to clean things up.
By the time I turned 40, I began to be very interested in changing virtually all aspects of my life, including my housecleaning habits. I began to read self-help books - LOTS of them. I read books, listened to audio tapes, and bought movies of all the major self-help authors of the 20th century, including Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Tony Robbins and more others than I can count.
I also got numerous books by all the "cleaning gurus" - Flylady, Sandra Felton, Julie Morgenstern, and many others. And I worked weekly with a personal coach. Very slowly, things in my life started to change, bit by bit. I began to have a most positive attitude. I began to look at the problems in my life in a different light and to see more possibilities to resolve them. I began to have more hope for the future and to take more responsibilities for my actions.
As I began to get my house in order (both literally and figuratively), I wanted to share what I had learned with other women who were facing the same challenges. I love to write, so I started reviewing the books I had and started putting building some lessons. I did some advertising and started teaching my first classes. I didn't have a lot of attendees in the beginning, but I was so encouraged when I started seeing what a difference these classes were making in the lives of my students.
I continue to work towards my goal of perfecting my routines and getting my house exactly the way I want it, but as long as I continue to make progress, I'm content. Perfection is never the goal, just progress, and when I look back to where I started and see how far I've come, I can see that I am well on my way.
12/16/08
Today's Tips from Mary Hunt
Here are some great practical tips from Mary Hunt at the Everyday Cheapskate:
12/9/08
A Great Winter Organizing Idea
I found the most fabulous idea today and I thought I'd share it with you. I found it over at Organizing Junkie - click here to go and see a picture of it. It's a great blog and has some nice ideas over there.
If your house is like mine, you have a ton of gloves, hats, and scarves. Do yours get scattered all over the house? Ours aren't too bad, but sometimes they get out of control. I keep all mine in a little treasure chest that used to belong to my Mom. It works, but I find them digging through it and sometimes tossing them onto the floor until they find what they want. Over at Organizing Junkie, they took one of those over the door shoe hangers. The kind with about a dozen plastic pockets. You just fill up all the pockets with the hats and scarves and gloves. Seems like a great idea to me. You could even put it on your garage door so the kids could take their stuff off and put them in the pockets on the way through the door. Sounds like a great idea to me.
I had another idea that I've seen using that same type of shoe hanger. One of my aunts used to take all kinds of magazines with pretty glossy covers. Then she would roll them up, tie them with a pretty ribbon and display them in one of these shoe hangers. It was really darling!
If your house is like mine, you have a ton of gloves, hats, and scarves. Do yours get scattered all over the house? Ours aren't too bad, but sometimes they get out of control. I keep all mine in a little treasure chest that used to belong to my Mom. It works, but I find them digging through it and sometimes tossing them onto the floor until they find what they want. Over at Organizing Junkie, they took one of those over the door shoe hangers. The kind with about a dozen plastic pockets. You just fill up all the pockets with the hats and scarves and gloves. Seems like a great idea to me. You could even put it on your garage door so the kids could take their stuff off and put them in the pockets on the way through the door. Sounds like a great idea to me.
I had another idea that I've seen using that same type of shoe hanger. One of my aunts used to take all kinds of magazines with pretty glossy covers. Then she would roll them up, tie them with a pretty ribbon and display them in one of these shoe hangers. It was really darling!
11/23/08
Loving vs. Indulging Yourself
This quote ties in really well with the message from the other day about how you would treat a child who behaved the way you have ben behaving.
"Loving yourself is not the same as indulging yourself"
If you are a little bit tough on yourself and make yourself do the things you know you need to do, you are likely to be happier beause you won't have the guilt of having your chores hanging over you.
11/21/08
Do you act like a kid sometimes?
I had a thought the other day. If you had a kid who didn't do their chores, didn't eat properly, and just basically wouldn't follow any of the rule you've set down (yeah, I know, who doesn't?), what would you do?
Now how many times do you act like that? We all do, don't we? We all know the things we are supposed to do around the house - dishes, laundry, picking stuff up, you name it. But for some silly reason, we just don't want to do them. What if you talked to yourself the way you would a misbehaving child? Sometimes I think it's important to address that "inner child" and admit to those issues and deal with them head-on, just the same you would if it were a real child.
On the other hand, my kids respond much better to rewards than they do to punishments. Maybe you are the type who would respond better to some kind of a reward instead. And rewards can be many different things. Maybe it's just some time to read a book, or call and talk to a friend you wouldn't normally. Maybe it's going to a movie, or even just a gold star on your hand. You have to mix it up and pick whatever is going to work.
So, go clean up your room, young lady!!!
Now how many times do you act like that? We all do, don't we? We all know the things we are supposed to do around the house - dishes, laundry, picking stuff up, you name it. But for some silly reason, we just don't want to do them. What if you talked to yourself the way you would a misbehaving child? Sometimes I think it's important to address that "inner child" and admit to those issues and deal with them head-on, just the same you would if it were a real child.
On the other hand, my kids respond much better to rewards than they do to punishments. Maybe you are the type who would respond better to some kind of a reward instead. And rewards can be many different things. Maybe it's just some time to read a book, or call and talk to a friend you wouldn't normally. Maybe it's going to a movie, or even just a gold star on your hand. You have to mix it up and pick whatever is going to work.
So, go clean up your room, young lady!!!
11/8/08
Entryway Challenge
Today, I'd like to you to take just 30 minutes and tidy up your entryway. Sweep your front porch and get rid of anything that doesn't belong in that front porch area. Old newspapers, trash, dead plants, etc. Give your Welcome mat a shake and lay it down nice and straight. Maybe it's time for a new one?
Now open your front door. What would a guest see when they walk through your door? A pile of discarded shoes and some laundry? That's not exactly a welcome sight for a visitor. Take everything that doesn't belong in the entry way and put it where it belongs. Remember, you only have 30 minutes, so hurry! Now, consider adding one pretty touch. A new plant, a picture on the wall, a new throw rug, just something small.
When you're done, go get yourself a little treat - a magazine, some coffee, or an ice cream. You deserve it!
Now open your front door. What would a guest see when they walk through your door? A pile of discarded shoes and some laundry? That's not exactly a welcome sight for a visitor. Take everything that doesn't belong in the entry way and put it where it belongs. Remember, you only have 30 minutes, so hurry! Now, consider adding one pretty touch. A new plant, a picture on the wall, a new throw rug, just something small.
When you're done, go get yourself a little treat - a magazine, some coffee, or an ice cream. You deserve it!
11/6/08
The Tupperware Challenge!
Oh my gosh! It's been a week since I've posted here. Sorry! I got busy. Here is a challenge for today. Go through all your Tupperwave. Match up all the bowls and lids and see how many containers you've got of each size. Then everything that doesn't match up - out it goes! If you've got too many of a particular size, give away a few.
Hint: I take my lids and put them in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Then when I find the bowl I want, I can easily pick out the matching lid. It's also easier to stack up the bowls if you have the lids separate and then they don't get all stale and stinky.
Hint: I take my lids and put them in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Then when I find the bowl I want, I can easily pick out the matching lid. It's also easier to stack up the bowls if you have the lids separate and then they don't get all stale and stinky.
10/30/08
How to Organize Your Pantry
Here's a great tip - label and organize your pantry shelves. This will make cooking and grocery shopping so much easier because you'll be able to see exactly what you have on hand and what you need. Also, this is a great time to wipe down those shelves and make them all sparkly!
This is a task that can easily become overwhelming, so set your timer and start with just ONE shelf. I take everything off of one shelf and either crowd the stuff onto the other shelves, or put it on the counter. Then I take a damp cloth (I typed damn cloth!) and give the shelf a quick wipe. Then I decide what item groups I'm going to use for that shelf. Here is how I group my items:
Soups
Canned fruit & veggies
Cereals - dry cereal, oatmeal, granola, etc.
Drinks of any kind - Kool aid, hot chocolate, iced tea
Pasta and beans
Boxed staples - pancake mix, au gratin potatoes, Minute rice, etc.
Baking items - flour, sugar, baking powder, etc.
Spices (in a separate cabinet)
Snack items - chips, cookies, twinkies, crackers
The items we use the most are the ones I want on the most accessible shelves. So I would start with cereals and snack items because we use those pretty much every day. Group similar items together. Don't forget to leave a little extra space for your next shopping trip. Label your shelves so when your family is putting away groceries, they will put them in the correct place. Don't get hung up on having all the labels face a certain way or having all the boxes line up just so - that's perfectionism and it's not helpful!
Once you finish that one shelf, you can call it a day, or if you have time, start on another shelf. You should have some room since you will have moved some items down onto the first shelf. This time you might be able to just shove everything to one side and wipe it down a side at a time rather than take everything out. You'll be surprised at how much extra room you will find when everything is organized properly.
Then when you are getting ready to shop, you can see at a glance how many cans of soup you have or how many boxes of cereal. During class, you should have received one of my fabulous grocery lists. I love my grocery list! I have it in an Excel spreadsheet and I have 3 columns all separated by meal or by type. Then I can go down and just check off what we need for each meal. Example: Breakfast - I check eggs, cereal, waffles, and bagels. Paper goods - check, check, check. Paper products, cleaning supplies, pet goodies, plus a little space to write special items.
It takes me two minutes to throw together my grocery list for the week. Then I hand it to my 19-year old son and send him off to Target. He works there, so we can take advantage of his 10% employee discount - ka-ching! That adds up when you are doing two weeks worth of groceries. Plus he finds all kinds of coupons laying around. This week we are saving $15 cash rebates in addition to his 10% discount - double ka-ching! Sorry! Just had to brag a bit. Plus it is making him a very smart shopper.
But I reward him by letting him spend most of the money he saves on all the pizza, soda, and other goodies he loves for his lunches. I'd probably buy it anyway, but this way he feels like he's getting a reward - shhhhh!
This is a task that can easily become overwhelming, so set your timer and start with just ONE shelf. I take everything off of one shelf and either crowd the stuff onto the other shelves, or put it on the counter. Then I take a damp cloth (I typed damn cloth!) and give the shelf a quick wipe. Then I decide what item groups I'm going to use for that shelf. Here is how I group my items:
Soups
Canned fruit & veggies
Cereals - dry cereal, oatmeal, granola, etc.
Drinks of any kind - Kool aid, hot chocolate, iced tea
Pasta and beans
Boxed staples - pancake mix, au gratin potatoes, Minute rice, etc.
Baking items - flour, sugar, baking powder, etc.
Spices (in a separate cabinet)
Snack items - chips, cookies, twinkies, crackers
The items we use the most are the ones I want on the most accessible shelves. So I would start with cereals and snack items because we use those pretty much every day. Group similar items together. Don't forget to leave a little extra space for your next shopping trip. Label your shelves so when your family is putting away groceries, they will put them in the correct place. Don't get hung up on having all the labels face a certain way or having all the boxes line up just so - that's perfectionism and it's not helpful!
Once you finish that one shelf, you can call it a day, or if you have time, start on another shelf. You should have some room since you will have moved some items down onto the first shelf. This time you might be able to just shove everything to one side and wipe it down a side at a time rather than take everything out. You'll be surprised at how much extra room you will find when everything is organized properly.
Then when you are getting ready to shop, you can see at a glance how many cans of soup you have or how many boxes of cereal. During class, you should have received one of my fabulous grocery lists. I love my grocery list! I have it in an Excel spreadsheet and I have 3 columns all separated by meal or by type. Then I can go down and just check off what we need for each meal. Example: Breakfast - I check eggs, cereal, waffles, and bagels. Paper goods - check, check, check. Paper products, cleaning supplies, pet goodies, plus a little space to write special items.
It takes me two minutes to throw together my grocery list for the week. Then I hand it to my 19-year old son and send him off to Target. He works there, so we can take advantage of his 10% employee discount - ka-ching! That adds up when you are doing two weeks worth of groceries. Plus he finds all kinds of coupons laying around. This week we are saving $15 cash rebates in addition to his 10% discount - double ka-ching! Sorry! Just had to brag a bit. Plus it is making him a very smart shopper.
But I reward him by letting him spend most of the money he saves on all the pizza, soda, and other goodies he loves for his lunches. I'd probably buy it anyway, but this way he feels like he's getting a reward - shhhhh!
10/28/08
Challenge for Today
You have a challenge today! Your challenge is to round up a whole grocery bag of papers and either toss them, file them, or shred them. When you are done, don't forget to reward yourself with something small.
10/19/08
Stress Free Holidays
This is an essay that Flylady posts every year. I know it's really early to even be thinking about Christmas, but time really speeds up this time of year and it will be here before we know it. The holidays can be such a fun time, but it can be a very stressful time, especially for people who have issues like ours.
For years I have set up my vacation to include something I call my "Christmas sanity" week. I plan 3 to 5 days of vacation time around the second week of December to get my decorating, shopping, and mailing done in time to meet the holiday shipping deadlines (most of our family is out of state). I've found this to be very helpful and reduces my stress somewhat, but I also follow some of Flylady's guidelines as far as getting my daily routines set so my house looks nice, and doing my decorating a bit at a time instead of in a marathon session. I've also tried to simplify my holiday traditions and not go so crazy spending so much money on gifts.
Dear Friends,
Every year we declare that this year we will be ready for the holidays and every single year we find ourselves wrapping gifts or running to the grocery at the last minute. Do you want to have a stress-free holiday? I can see you affirming this with your head nods! Well it is not going to happen if you just sit and wish things could be different. It is going to take a little Franny moving on your part so that your lives will be peaceful. Are you ready to look at some simple ways to keep your life calm during the holidays? If you will follow our 6 weeks worth of missions, you will have a headstart on holiday preparations.
1. The very first thing that we all have to do is maintain our homes. Now I am talking about having your routines established so your home practically cleans itself. I know you don't believe me, but it will happen if you will just get up and dress to shoes every single day, commit to keeping your sink shining and lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This is not rocket science. I can hear you now, "I don't know where to start!" I am going to tell you. Many people need to see something clean so they can keep it that way; It is the perfectionist in each of us. This is why we always start with our sinks. Shining sinks make us smile which energizes us into keeping the rest of the kitchen clean too. On our website we have a link to an essay called Crisis Cleaning. This is a simple and fun way to stay focused and get your home picked up in record time. We all have done stash and dash to get ready for company; this is a little different, because you are required to rest and take care of yourself. We use a timer, fun music and a happy attitude while we do this.
The hardest part is keeping it looking nice, but you can do this if you will pick up after yourself. Yes I said you! We are the world'sworst at putting things away when we are finished, probably because we never finish anything. If we will just practice stopping and putting things away, then your home will stay looking nice until your company comes. In fact your home will look nice for you and your family all the time, not just when guests are coming. I can hear you yelling at me. It is the rest of the family that trashes the home. Well get over it. It is your responsibility to set the example and give them fun ways to pick up and put away; 27 Fling Boogies, Hot Spot Fire Preventions twice a day or at the top of every hour. This way, things will get put away on a regular schedule. Then every night as part of your before bed routine; everything gets put away and you get to start with a peaceful room each morning.
http://www.flylady. net Click on FLYing lessons; scroll down to the section, As you make progress and you will see the last item; FlyLady's Crisis Cleaning. Print this out and follow it step by babystep.
2. Now with your home looking nice, you are freed up to think about the holidays, but you can't forget about keeping it picked up. There are lots of things that need to be done, so it is important that we not only make a few plans, but that we carry out those plans in babysteps. We all are good at making lists but we never really follow through with those ideas. We are going to help you with this. As part of your basic weekly plans we will integrate holiday missions. These are going to be fun. Kelly has a way of wording her Holiday Cruising Missions that they are not like work at all. You will be blessing your family with a happy person instead of a stressed out one.
3. We always spend way too much money on gifts and decorations. It is time we looked at this with a budget in mind. Now I am not going to get picky about every single penny you spend, but I don't want you dragging out those credit cards all the time for unplanned purchases and then having to pay the piper next year with huge interest and overwhelming guilt. A little thought and actual doing, you can have a stress free holiday and an even more peaceful new year without the debt.
4. None of us have enough time, yet we all have the same amount. Itis time that we quit whining about this and accept that we can't get it all done and just do what we can. Do you understand this? Life is too short to dwell on what doesn't get done. Celebrate what you do every day and start fresh each morning. Don't look back and jump in right where we are. This is going to be a lot of fun if you will quit feeling sorry for yourself and commit to doing one thing to get ready for the holidays each and every day.
5. The holidays are supposed to be a time to enjoy your family while setting up traditions that make you and your family happy. This is a tough one. Your traditions may not be fun anymore. You have always done the same thing and no one ever questioned it. If your traditions don't make you smile then it may be time for new ones. Who says you have to have a traditional holiday meal or get-together. The most important part is that each member of your immediate family feel loved. Have a family meeting to discuss your plans and ask for suggestions. I have always told my son and his wife that we can have our Christmas anytime. This it is not a requirement that I see him on December 25th. When he was a baby, we were expected to attend traditional celebrations at the Grandparents homes. We were blessed that we all lived in the same town, but two dinners 4 hours apart is too much. Make your decisions now and stick to them. Keep it fun for your family and most of all stress free for you. You know what we say, if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
6. Decorating can be stressful all by itself. The perfectionism in us wants to see it done all at once. Well sisters that is just too much for anyone. We can start small, by just putting out candles first, then do one small box at a time. After about 7 days you can have the whole house decorated for the holidays and it has been done 15 minutes at a time. Don't forget to be nice to yourself putting things away after the first of the year. BabySteps will get it decorated and undecorated; without the guilt. One member let the children put ornaments on the tree each evening. They would light a candle and just put one ornament each on the tree until it was decorated. They made a special occasion and had fun. Isn't that what the holidays are all about; Family time. You can do these things if you are not stressed out by the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and your home. This is why I want you to pretend that you are going on a Cruise December 1st until Christmas Eve. That way you can be free of the last minute torture and just sit back and have a good time with your family.
7. Everyone loves to make gifts for your friends as well as bake. Well if you have not thought about those homemade sewn gifts by now, let's face it, they are probably not going to be finished by the deadline. Right now you may be feeling a bit guilty. Well stop this. There are some simple little gifts that can be made that most everyone loves: Spice tea, my cafe' Mocha mix, cookies in a jar. You know them as well as I do. All you have to do is stir them up and put in a jar and put a bow on them; Simple, easy to do and fun for the family to help. Don't get caught up in trying to impress when it is going to put too much stress in your life. Now if you have been knitting all year or quilting then you have your projects well in hand. I am very proud of you, but for those of us that are not there yet, let it go and keep it simple. Some friends of mine like to have a cookie swap. Each person bakes their favorite holiday cookie recipe and puts them in containers to give away. Everyone at the party gets a variety of holiday cookies and you didn't have to fix them all yourself. Yippee! More fun and less work: That's for me! The good thing about cookie dough is that it can be frozen! Mix up several batches and roll them into balls or wax paper logs to be cut later; children love to help. Then you will have cookie dough ready for the baking without all the mess.
8. Menu planning and preparation can be hard on your budget, that iswhy it is a good idea to start buying now. You have six weeks before USA Thanksgiving to spread out your purchases; Buy a few items at atime and stock up. I like to keep hors d'oeuvres on hand for those impromptu parties we like to have. With our home in order we can pickup the phone and invite people over for an evening without having to run to the store. We keep several varieties of crackers and cheeses on hand, as well as cookies, fruit, and beverages. Sometimes it is just fun to treat my sweetie to an evening of candles and hors d'oeuvres when he comes home after a hard day at work. We all like to be treated like company. Before you start buying it is a good idea to plan your menu and make your grocery list so you can check the specials before you make your grocery run.
9. Now for the rest of the family's gifts. I am not a big fan of shopping and mall crowds, this is why I order many of our gifts and I shy away from clutter. I also try to shop at home as much as possible. We all need to limit our purchases to our list that we are going to make. Write down all the names of people you intend to buy for and set an amount and don't go over it. By starting now, you will have plenty of time to find an acceptable gift without maxing out your credit cards.
10. Another thing I absolutely despise is gift wrapping. I try to do as little as possible. In fact I am not fond of buying wrapping paper. Ribbons are another story. I love pretty ribbons. I have been known to wrap our gifts in brown paper bags from the grocery store and put pretty gold ribbons around them and use old greeting cards for gift tags. A few years ago I even wrapped them in unprinted newsprint paper and spray painted them gold. I guess I can be a cheapskate sometimes. When I buy gifts, I usually take the time to have them wrapped while I am there. That way I don't have to do it myself. Since I live in a small town they usually don't charge for it.
11. The hardest person to buy for in your home is YOU! Do you have any idea what you would like for a gift. Our spouses and our children cannot read our minds, it is up to you to give them a want list. Now is the time to start making your list and don't keep it a secret. We have our children do it, so why not try this. This doesn't mean you are going to get all you have asked for, but it will give your loved ones someplace to start.
I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came from using my routines to keep my home in order and a little planning ahead with 15 minutes of moving my Franny each day to accomplish what I have planned. You can have this peace too, if you will adjust your attitude toward the holidays and take care of yourself.
Are you ready to Cruise through the holidays too?
FlyLady
For years I have set up my vacation to include something I call my "Christmas sanity" week. I plan 3 to 5 days of vacation time around the second week of December to get my decorating, shopping, and mailing done in time to meet the holiday shipping deadlines (most of our family is out of state). I've found this to be very helpful and reduces my stress somewhat, but I also follow some of Flylady's guidelines as far as getting my daily routines set so my house looks nice, and doing my decorating a bit at a time instead of in a marathon session. I've also tried to simplify my holiday traditions and not go so crazy spending so much money on gifts.
Dear Friends,
Every year we declare that this year we will be ready for the holidays and every single year we find ourselves wrapping gifts or running to the grocery at the last minute. Do you want to have a stress-free holiday? I can see you affirming this with your head nods! Well it is not going to happen if you just sit and wish things could be different. It is going to take a little Franny moving on your part so that your lives will be peaceful. Are you ready to look at some simple ways to keep your life calm during the holidays? If you will follow our 6 weeks worth of missions, you will have a headstart on holiday preparations.
1. The very first thing that we all have to do is maintain our homes. Now I am talking about having your routines established so your home practically cleans itself. I know you don't believe me, but it will happen if you will just get up and dress to shoes every single day, commit to keeping your sink shining and lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This is not rocket science. I can hear you now, "I don't know where to start!" I am going to tell you. Many people need to see something clean so they can keep it that way; It is the perfectionist in each of us. This is why we always start with our sinks. Shining sinks make us smile which energizes us into keeping the rest of the kitchen clean too. On our website we have a link to an essay called Crisis Cleaning. This is a simple and fun way to stay focused and get your home picked up in record time. We all have done stash and dash to get ready for company; this is a little different, because you are required to rest and take care of yourself. We use a timer, fun music and a happy attitude while we do this.
The hardest part is keeping it looking nice, but you can do this if you will pick up after yourself. Yes I said you! We are the world'sworst at putting things away when we are finished, probably because we never finish anything. If we will just practice stopping and putting things away, then your home will stay looking nice until your company comes. In fact your home will look nice for you and your family all the time, not just when guests are coming. I can hear you yelling at me. It is the rest of the family that trashes the home. Well get over it. It is your responsibility to set the example and give them fun ways to pick up and put away; 27 Fling Boogies, Hot Spot Fire Preventions twice a day or at the top of every hour. This way, things will get put away on a regular schedule. Then every night as part of your before bed routine; everything gets put away and you get to start with a peaceful room each morning.
http://www.flylady. net Click on FLYing lessons; scroll down to the section, As you make progress and you will see the last item; FlyLady's Crisis Cleaning. Print this out and follow it step by babystep.
2. Now with your home looking nice, you are freed up to think about the holidays, but you can't forget about keeping it picked up. There are lots of things that need to be done, so it is important that we not only make a few plans, but that we carry out those plans in babysteps. We all are good at making lists but we never really follow through with those ideas. We are going to help you with this. As part of your basic weekly plans we will integrate holiday missions. These are going to be fun. Kelly has a way of wording her Holiday Cruising Missions that they are not like work at all. You will be blessing your family with a happy person instead of a stressed out one.
3. We always spend way too much money on gifts and decorations. It is time we looked at this with a budget in mind. Now I am not going to get picky about every single penny you spend, but I don't want you dragging out those credit cards all the time for unplanned purchases and then having to pay the piper next year with huge interest and overwhelming guilt. A little thought and actual doing, you can have a stress free holiday and an even more peaceful new year without the debt.
4. None of us have enough time, yet we all have the same amount. Itis time that we quit whining about this and accept that we can't get it all done and just do what we can. Do you understand this? Life is too short to dwell on what doesn't get done. Celebrate what you do every day and start fresh each morning. Don't look back and jump in right where we are. This is going to be a lot of fun if you will quit feeling sorry for yourself and commit to doing one thing to get ready for the holidays each and every day.
5. The holidays are supposed to be a time to enjoy your family while setting up traditions that make you and your family happy. This is a tough one. Your traditions may not be fun anymore. You have always done the same thing and no one ever questioned it. If your traditions don't make you smile then it may be time for new ones. Who says you have to have a traditional holiday meal or get-together. The most important part is that each member of your immediate family feel loved. Have a family meeting to discuss your plans and ask for suggestions. I have always told my son and his wife that we can have our Christmas anytime. This it is not a requirement that I see him on December 25th. When he was a baby, we were expected to attend traditional celebrations at the Grandparents homes. We were blessed that we all lived in the same town, but two dinners 4 hours apart is too much. Make your decisions now and stick to them. Keep it fun for your family and most of all stress free for you. You know what we say, if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
6. Decorating can be stressful all by itself. The perfectionism in us wants to see it done all at once. Well sisters that is just too much for anyone. We can start small, by just putting out candles first, then do one small box at a time. After about 7 days you can have the whole house decorated for the holidays and it has been done 15 minutes at a time. Don't forget to be nice to yourself putting things away after the first of the year. BabySteps will get it decorated and undecorated; without the guilt. One member let the children put ornaments on the tree each evening. They would light a candle and just put one ornament each on the tree until it was decorated. They made a special occasion and had fun. Isn't that what the holidays are all about; Family time. You can do these things if you are not stressed out by the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and your home. This is why I want you to pretend that you are going on a Cruise December 1st until Christmas Eve. That way you can be free of the last minute torture and just sit back and have a good time with your family.
7. Everyone loves to make gifts for your friends as well as bake. Well if you have not thought about those homemade sewn gifts by now, let's face it, they are probably not going to be finished by the deadline. Right now you may be feeling a bit guilty. Well stop this. There are some simple little gifts that can be made that most everyone loves: Spice tea, my cafe' Mocha mix, cookies in a jar. You know them as well as I do. All you have to do is stir them up and put in a jar and put a bow on them; Simple, easy to do and fun for the family to help. Don't get caught up in trying to impress when it is going to put too much stress in your life. Now if you have been knitting all year or quilting then you have your projects well in hand. I am very proud of you, but for those of us that are not there yet, let it go and keep it simple. Some friends of mine like to have a cookie swap. Each person bakes their favorite holiday cookie recipe and puts them in containers to give away. Everyone at the party gets a variety of holiday cookies and you didn't have to fix them all yourself. Yippee! More fun and less work: That's for me! The good thing about cookie dough is that it can be frozen! Mix up several batches and roll them into balls or wax paper logs to be cut later; children love to help. Then you will have cookie dough ready for the baking without all the mess.
8. Menu planning and preparation can be hard on your budget, that iswhy it is a good idea to start buying now. You have six weeks before USA Thanksgiving to spread out your purchases; Buy a few items at atime and stock up. I like to keep hors d'oeuvres on hand for those impromptu parties we like to have. With our home in order we can pickup the phone and invite people over for an evening without having to run to the store. We keep several varieties of crackers and cheeses on hand, as well as cookies, fruit, and beverages. Sometimes it is just fun to treat my sweetie to an evening of candles and hors d'oeuvres when he comes home after a hard day at work. We all like to be treated like company. Before you start buying it is a good idea to plan your menu and make your grocery list so you can check the specials before you make your grocery run.
9. Now for the rest of the family's gifts. I am not a big fan of shopping and mall crowds, this is why I order many of our gifts and I shy away from clutter. I also try to shop at home as much as possible. We all need to limit our purchases to our list that we are going to make. Write down all the names of people you intend to buy for and set an amount and don't go over it. By starting now, you will have plenty of time to find an acceptable gift without maxing out your credit cards.
10. Another thing I absolutely despise is gift wrapping. I try to do as little as possible. In fact I am not fond of buying wrapping paper. Ribbons are another story. I love pretty ribbons. I have been known to wrap our gifts in brown paper bags from the grocery store and put pretty gold ribbons around them and use old greeting cards for gift tags. A few years ago I even wrapped them in unprinted newsprint paper and spray painted them gold. I guess I can be a cheapskate sometimes. When I buy gifts, I usually take the time to have them wrapped while I am there. That way I don't have to do it myself. Since I live in a small town they usually don't charge for it.
11. The hardest person to buy for in your home is YOU! Do you have any idea what you would like for a gift. Our spouses and our children cannot read our minds, it is up to you to give them a want list. Now is the time to start making your list and don't keep it a secret. We have our children do it, so why not try this. This doesn't mean you are going to get all you have asked for, but it will give your loved ones someplace to start.
I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came from using my routines to keep my home in order and a little planning ahead with 15 minutes of moving my Franny each day to accomplish what I have planned. You can have this peace too, if you will adjust your attitude toward the holidays and take care of yourself.
Are you ready to Cruise through the holidays too?
FlyLady
10/16/08
Young At Heart
I think this is a great post for the difficult times we are going through. Having a positive attitude is key to making positive changes in our lives. This saying is great for those days when you feel like you just can't pull it all together, and we all have those days. Maybe keep these words in your head for those rough days.
Young @ Heart by Pam Young
All is well. Come on, you can say it. Take a big deep breath and say, ALL IS WELL. When you say "all is well" and you are bombarded with buts, those are buts that are powerless if you will do this exercise! It is something I was taught as a child by my grandfather and it has served me for well over 60 years. It will help you too. Oh, and it's kind of fun!
First, imagine that your mind is like your home. Like your home, it has a front door and YOU are in control of whom you let in (those would be thoughts). So imagine the doorbell rings and you go to the door and open it to see a huge long line of Darth Vaders, mixed in with a bunch of Eyores and let's throw in a big bad wolf or two. Each scary character has a different sign: gloom, doom, fear me, worry about this, what about that, I'm angry, why me, whaa, whaa, whaa, (you get the idea). The line goes as far as you can see! Now, all you have to do is say "All is well" to the first Darth in line with his sign and he will vanish. Each and every negative character will disappear with your words "all is well: because those words are like magic on negative thoughts. You are in control of the front door to your mind and you have protection just as you are in control of whom you allow into your home. The words "all is well" are as affective on negative thoughts as a can of mace would be on an unwanted intruder.
Second, imagine that some of your favorite people in your life are in line. (Right now stop reading and mentally run through ten of your favorite people and while you're at it, imagine each one laughing because of happiness.) Invite those happy people into your home (mind). Now invite in some of your favorite things. A summer breeze, fresh apple pie, FlyLady's smile, new shoes, a wallet stuffed with hundred dollar bills, a sleeping baby, the aroma of new mown hay, a shiny sink, lunch with a favorite friend are some of mine. My grandfather taught me in the most loving way that we must stand guard at the doorway of our thoughts and let in only those that nurture goodness and well-being.
In especially hard times we need to encourage thoughts that give us relief. When events happen beyond our control we can still control our thoughts, feelings and emotions. If we choose not to we can get buried in sort of a group negative soup.
Once on a very turbulent flight to visit FlyLady, upon the approach (ten minutes from landing) a young flight attendant "lost it." She came over the loud speaker and said, "Ladies and gentlemen the captain has informed me we are in a very dangerous storm!!! Please get in your seats immediately! !! Those in your seats, tighten your seat belts very tight because we are in for a very dangerous landing!!! The small commuter jet dipped and leaned and lurched and dipped again almost as a demonstration of what the flight attendant had reported.
I was seated in the center seat with a young girl at the window who began to cry (quietly) and a missionary on her way to Russia in the aisle seat who began praying out loud. I was frozen with fear and as I've told God before, "When it's time for me to go, please don't tell me! Just shoot me, or take me in my sleep, but don't tell me I have ten minutes before IT happens." Reminding God how I felt about what was happening I made myself take a few deep breaths to calm myself
down and I put my hand on the young woman's arm to comfort her as an older woman and mother would do. I managed to say to her, "It'll be alright. All is well."
As I took my third breath and quieted my raucous mind, a clear sweet thought came into my head (I know this voice). It said, "It's over. Look out the window and look up." Whenever I sit in the center seat I don't like to look out the window because I don't want to get in the window seat person's space, but when I heard this directive, I minded.
The next five minutes was as smooth as honey and the landing was a 10!
What is happening in the world is like what happens on a flight during a storm. We can't drive the plane but we can tend to our own thoughts. As you go through your day, and the days to come, stand guard and mace those fears with a big deep breath and the words, ALL
IS WELL.
Young @ Heart by Pam Young
All is well. Come on, you can say it. Take a big deep breath and say, ALL IS WELL. When you say "all is well" and you are bombarded with buts, those are buts that are powerless if you will do this exercise! It is something I was taught as a child by my grandfather and it has served me for well over 60 years. It will help you too. Oh, and it's kind of fun!
First, imagine that your mind is like your home. Like your home, it has a front door and YOU are in control of whom you let in (those would be thoughts). So imagine the doorbell rings and you go to the door and open it to see a huge long line of Darth Vaders, mixed in with a bunch of Eyores and let's throw in a big bad wolf or two. Each scary character has a different sign: gloom, doom, fear me, worry about this, what about that, I'm angry, why me, whaa, whaa, whaa, (you get the idea). The line goes as far as you can see! Now, all you have to do is say "All is well" to the first Darth in line with his sign and he will vanish. Each and every negative character will disappear with your words "all is well: because those words are like magic on negative thoughts. You are in control of the front door to your mind and you have protection just as you are in control of whom you allow into your home. The words "all is well" are as affective on negative thoughts as a can of mace would be on an unwanted intruder.
Second, imagine that some of your favorite people in your life are in line. (Right now stop reading and mentally run through ten of your favorite people and while you're at it, imagine each one laughing because of happiness.) Invite those happy people into your home (mind). Now invite in some of your favorite things. A summer breeze, fresh apple pie, FlyLady's smile, new shoes, a wallet stuffed with hundred dollar bills, a sleeping baby, the aroma of new mown hay, a shiny sink, lunch with a favorite friend are some of mine. My grandfather taught me in the most loving way that we must stand guard at the doorway of our thoughts and let in only those that nurture goodness and well-being.
In especially hard times we need to encourage thoughts that give us relief. When events happen beyond our control we can still control our thoughts, feelings and emotions. If we choose not to we can get buried in sort of a group negative soup.
Once on a very turbulent flight to visit FlyLady, upon the approach (ten minutes from landing) a young flight attendant "lost it." She came over the loud speaker and said, "Ladies and gentlemen the captain has informed me we are in a very dangerous storm!!! Please get in your seats immediately! !! Those in your seats, tighten your seat belts very tight because we are in for a very dangerous landing!!! The small commuter jet dipped and leaned and lurched and dipped again almost as a demonstration of what the flight attendant had reported.
I was seated in the center seat with a young girl at the window who began to cry (quietly) and a missionary on her way to Russia in the aisle seat who began praying out loud. I was frozen with fear and as I've told God before, "When it's time for me to go, please don't tell me! Just shoot me, or take me in my sleep, but don't tell me I have ten minutes before IT happens." Reminding God how I felt about what was happening I made myself take a few deep breaths to calm myself
down and I put my hand on the young woman's arm to comfort her as an older woman and mother would do. I managed to say to her, "It'll be alright. All is well."
As I took my third breath and quieted my raucous mind, a clear sweet thought came into my head (I know this voice). It said, "It's over. Look out the window and look up." Whenever I sit in the center seat I don't like to look out the window because I don't want to get in the window seat person's space, but when I heard this directive, I minded.
I leaned over and looked out and up. Up above, the clouds were angry and black and it was clear that we'd flown through the storm and were now under it, for there was clear blue sky down below and ahead of us.
The next five minutes was as smooth as honey and the landing was a 10!
What is happening in the world is like what happens on a flight during a storm. We can't drive the plane but we can tend to our own thoughts. As you go through your day, and the days to come, stand guard and mace those fears with a big deep breath and the words, ALL
IS WELL.
10/12/08
The Importance of Appreciation
One very important way to get cooperation from your family members is simply by showing your appreciation for their help. A simple thank you or complimenting them on a job well done can go a long way toward building cooperation from them. One of my managers had a great plaque displayed in his office that stated this principle very clearly:
I love this saying because it's very all-purpose. Notice that it doesn't just say Positive actions that are recognized.... It means ANY type of action, positive or negative. If you reward your child for whining by giving him what he wants, that negative action will be repeated. If you reward your teenager daughter by ignoring her breaking of a rule, that action will be repeated also. Similarly, if you allow a child (or a husband!) to slide by on an assigned chore without consequences, that action will be repeated as well.
But if you come home and thank your husband for unloading the dishwasher, compliment him on how nice the front lawn looks, and tell your son how proud you are that he has kept his room clean for the last few days, how likely is it that these actions will be repeated?
You might even take it a step further. I've been known to reward chores done well with surprise rewards of candy bars, liters of their favorite sodas, or other unexpected treat. I had a chore that I've been trying to get my husband to do for months and I was totally frustrated with him. His father passed away in February and he needed to sort out all the old photographs from their house and send them out to his various relatives. It was an emotional chore and I could see why he didn't want to do it, but I was tired of having the half-done task laying around in the family room. So I had a $20 gift card to a restaurant he liked. I tacked it up on the bulletin board and told him he could have it as soon as the job was done. It still took a bit more prodding, but he finally finished it this week and we used the gift card for lunch today. He even thanked me for giving him that little extra push to get the job completed.
Actions that are recognized and rewarded will be repeated
I love this saying because it's very all-purpose. Notice that it doesn't just say Positive actions that are recognized.... It means ANY type of action, positive or negative. If you reward your child for whining by giving him what he wants, that negative action will be repeated. If you reward your teenager daughter by ignoring her breaking of a rule, that action will be repeated also. Similarly, if you allow a child (or a husband!) to slide by on an assigned chore without consequences, that action will be repeated as well.
But if you come home and thank your husband for unloading the dishwasher, compliment him on how nice the front lawn looks, and tell your son how proud you are that he has kept his room clean for the last few days, how likely is it that these actions will be repeated?
You might even take it a step further. I've been known to reward chores done well with surprise rewards of candy bars, liters of their favorite sodas, or other unexpected treat. I had a chore that I've been trying to get my husband to do for months and I was totally frustrated with him. His father passed away in February and he needed to sort out all the old photographs from their house and send them out to his various relatives. It was an emotional chore and I could see why he didn't want to do it, but I was tired of having the half-done task laying around in the family room. So I had a $20 gift card to a restaurant he liked. I tacked it up on the bulletin board and told him he could have it as soon as the job was done. It still took a bit more prodding, but he finally finished it this week and we used the gift card for lunch today. He even thanked me for giving him that little extra push to get the job completed.
10/7/08
9 Ways to Improve Your Life
This is a little article I ran cross by Dennis Harting. He has a great blog with a lot of inspirational material. It's mostly inclined towards business people, but I think it has some good advice for us as well. His blog is http://www.DennisHarting.blogspot.com.
9 Ways To Improve Your Life
2. Ease up. The old saying “someday we will laugh about this” epitomizes how unimportant many things are in the grand scheme of things. Reduce the stress by remembering that everything will work out alright. Look at each situation as an opportunity to learn and grow while remembering to laugh.
3. Master your habits. Your habits are either empowering or disempowering. Determine the habits that adversely affect you then begin the process of eliminating them.
4. Examine your closest influences. We are all products of our environment. Everyone around us has input into our personalities, beliefs, and ideals. Make sure that those who are closest to you are assisting in moving you forward rather than prohibiting your progress.
5. Entertain the child within. Remember to take time to do that which you love. Too often we get focused on the drive to move ahead that we forget to engage the child within. Recharge you batteries by spending regular time doing what you are passionate about.
6. Resolve your unfinished business. Activities left unresolved have the ability to drain a great deal of energy out of us. Reclaim this energy by cleaning up all the old business and putting it to rest. Pay the old debts, discard old things, and tie up all other loose ends.
7. Focus. Focus. Focus. Get rid of the sloppiness in life by placing extra focus upon all that you do. Develop the habit of doing one thing at a time until it is completed. Pay attention to the details that make a difference.
8. Spend time creating your life. Most people allow circumstances to dictate the type of life they lead. Set aside each day to ponder what type of life that you want to live. Consider your dreams, traits that you want, and what you would like to contribute. Become proactive in the creation of your own life.
9. Invest in the most valuable computer in the world-your mind. Read books and listen to cds that expand your knowledge base. Learn new skills that will enhance you financially, mentally, and physically. Garner and utilize the knowledge available to better your life.
Share and Enjoy!
9 Ways To Improve Your Life
2. Ease up. The old saying “someday we will laugh about this” epitomizes how unimportant many things are in the grand scheme of things. Reduce the stress by remembering that everything will work out alright. Look at each situation as an opportunity to learn and grow while remembering to laugh.
3. Master your habits. Your habits are either empowering or disempowering. Determine the habits that adversely affect you then begin the process of eliminating them.
4. Examine your closest influences. We are all products of our environment. Everyone around us has input into our personalities, beliefs, and ideals. Make sure that those who are closest to you are assisting in moving you forward rather than prohibiting your progress.
5. Entertain the child within. Remember to take time to do that which you love. Too often we get focused on the drive to move ahead that we forget to engage the child within. Recharge you batteries by spending regular time doing what you are passionate about.
6. Resolve your unfinished business. Activities left unresolved have the ability to drain a great deal of energy out of us. Reclaim this energy by cleaning up all the old business and putting it to rest. Pay the old debts, discard old things, and tie up all other loose ends.
7. Focus. Focus. Focus. Get rid of the sloppiness in life by placing extra focus upon all that you do. Develop the habit of doing one thing at a time until it is completed. Pay attention to the details that make a difference.
8. Spend time creating your life. Most people allow circumstances to dictate the type of life they lead. Set aside each day to ponder what type of life that you want to live. Consider your dreams, traits that you want, and what you would like to contribute. Become proactive in the creation of your own life.
9. Invest in the most valuable computer in the world-your mind. Read books and listen to cds that expand your knowledge base. Learn new skills that will enhance you financially, mentally, and physically. Garner and utilize the knowledge available to better your life.
Share and Enjoy!
10/4/08
7 Steps to a Permanently Clean Kitchen
Here is a great article by Jeff over at TheCleanTeam.com. Pop over to their website for some of the great tools he mentions here.
I am going to share a secret with you: The longer you spend thinking about cleaning your kitchen, the less time you spend actually cleaning it. Until suddenly the task has become so insurmountable that when you finally do dig in, it will take you hours of back-breaking, toothbrush-wielding work. On the other hand, if you routinely clean your kitchen as you go, you will never have more than a 20-minute clean-up in front of you. And even deep cleaning will be a cinch, since the daily chores will be done and out of the way.
Get The Edge on Discouragement
So, how do you maintain this perfect kitchen stasis, without giving up all your free time? The answer is simple: Make it a habit to clean as you go. You've no doubt heard this advice before -- and perhaps you've made a valiant effort to implement it. Maybe you've kept the kitchen clean for a few days or even a few weeks. But then life got hectic and your kids got sick and the next thing you knew, all your momentum was gone and your kitchen sink was once again full of three-day old dishes.
The discouragement of that overflowing sink is quite powerful: It makes it seem like your kitchen will never be clean again. Or worse, that the whole process of cleaning is totally futile, since even if you do spend an hour cleaning now, it will just be like this again tomorrow.
The truth is that maintaining a clean kitchen -- just like keeping up with the laundry or any other home maintenance task -- is a bit redundant. You do it, it's clean for an hour or for a day, and then it gets messy and you have to do it again. The key to not getting discouraged by the repetitive nature of cleaning your kitchen is to accept that messes happen, especially when you have young kids. A mess is not a sign that you have failed as a home manager; it is a sign that vibrant life is happening in your home, which is as it should be. Once you accept -- and embrace -- the mess, it will seem a lot less daunting to dig in and keep up with it.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Another thing holding many of you back from having a clean kitchen is your own perfectionism. What's that, you wonder? Wouldn't a perfectionist have a perfectly clean kitchen?
The answer is no -- and here's why: A perfectionist starts by washing the dishes. But as she is soaking a particularly greasy pan, she notices some hard water stains on the faucet. So she grabs a toothbrush and some hard water stain remover (Tile Juice or Scum Bum) and begins to furiously scrub her entire sink. Next thing she knows, she is using a toothpick to remove build-up from under the calking. Pretty soon, she is on her hands and knees, scouring the oven, bleaching the garbage pail and rearranging the fridge. All of this activity is caused by perfection-itis. This is an incredibly common condition that causes people to avoid doing tasks they can't do perfectly. And of course, the perfectionist's definition of perfect is a whole lot more exacting than that of the non-perfectionist.
The good news is that there is a cure for perfection-itis: Limit yourself to no more than 20 minutes of daily kitchen cleaning. Set a timer if you have to. It may seem impossible at first, but you will get used to it.
Make a List and Check it Twice
Make a master list that tells you everything you have to do each day to keep your kitchen clean. Below is a basic outline with the seven essential chores, but you may need to tweak it for your personal set-up. These tasks should take you no longer than 20 minutes, and that includes washing the dishes!
If you are a beginner at keeping a clean kitchen, you may want to print out this list and post it on your fridge as a daily reminder. If you are a perfectionist, you may want to print multiple copies, so you can cross off items as you go (perfectionists love checking off lists!).
1. Load the dishwasher. If you have a personal dishwasher rather than an electric one, make sure that all dishes are hand washed by the end of each day. Before you go to bed, all dirty dishes, pots and pans should be vanished from the sink and the countertops. I prefer to run the dishwasher at the end of each day, right before I go to bed. I pop into the kitchen, get a glass of water and press start on my dishwasher.
2. Unload the dishwasher. Start your day by emptying out the dishwasher or the dish drain. That way as new dishes get dirty throughout the day, you will have no problem popping them into the dishwasher. If your dishwasher is still full of last night's clean dishes, the dirties will quickly pile up. Avoiding the pile-up helps you to avoid feeling negative about your kitchen and yourself.
3. Wipe the counters and table (if you have one) as you go. Don't leave this task until the end of the day. It takes less than 30 seconds to wipe off your counter tops and table after preparing or eating a sandwich, so don't let those crumbs sit. Like dirty dishes, crumbs tend to multiply, which discourages you from your goal of a clean kitchen. Keep a stack of cleaning cloths under your sink, along with a spray bottle of Red Juice. Unless your crumbs/splatters really go flying, there is no need to move your toaster and any other appliances. Just clean what you can see is dirty.
4. Wipe the stovetop as you go. Like with the counter top, this is a 30-second task that should be done as it needs doing. If you wait until the end of the day, you'll end up with burnt-on messes. Instead, wipe down your stovetop as soon as you are done cooking. Let the burners cool a bit and then spray them with Red Juice and wipe with a cleaning cloth.
5. Sweep the floor. You can leave this task until the end of the day, unless there is some major Cheerio disaster at breakfast. Do a quick sweep and dump the crumbs in the garbage bin. If there are major spills, spot clean them with a paper towel or sponge. Unless your floor is a huge mess, you can leave mopping for your once-a-week cleaning. Remember: The goal is not perfection! The goal is clean.
6. Empty the garbage and sort the recycling. Depending on how much garbage you produce and how large your bin is, you may need to do this nightly, or just a few times a week. Also, be sure to wash out any containers for recycling and put them in the right place.
7. Put away mail, school papers, etc. Kitchen flat surfaces are magnets for paper clutter. Since you can't wipe off your counters or your table when they are full of permission slips and junk mail, find a central place (like a pretty basket on top of your kitchen table) to keep this stuff until you can sort through it all.
Whether your cleaning challenge is perfectionism, laziness or untested skills, these seven steps will make it a breeze for anyone to maintain a clean kitchen. None of these tasks should take longer than 3 or 4 minutes -- and most will take less than one minute. And remember the key: Accept the mess, then roll of your sleeves and dig in to clean it up.
I am going to share a secret with you: The longer you spend thinking about cleaning your kitchen, the less time you spend actually cleaning it. Until suddenly the task has become so insurmountable that when you finally do dig in, it will take you hours of back-breaking, toothbrush-wielding work. On the other hand, if you routinely clean your kitchen as you go, you will never have more than a 20-minute clean-up in front of you. And even deep cleaning will be a cinch, since the daily chores will be done and out of the way.
Get The Edge on Discouragement
So, how do you maintain this perfect kitchen stasis, without giving up all your free time? The answer is simple: Make it a habit to clean as you go. You've no doubt heard this advice before -- and perhaps you've made a valiant effort to implement it. Maybe you've kept the kitchen clean for a few days or even a few weeks. But then life got hectic and your kids got sick and the next thing you knew, all your momentum was gone and your kitchen sink was once again full of three-day old dishes.
The discouragement of that overflowing sink is quite powerful: It makes it seem like your kitchen will never be clean again. Or worse, that the whole process of cleaning is totally futile, since even if you do spend an hour cleaning now, it will just be like this again tomorrow.
The truth is that maintaining a clean kitchen -- just like keeping up with the laundry or any other home maintenance task -- is a bit redundant. You do it, it's clean for an hour or for a day, and then it gets messy and you have to do it again. The key to not getting discouraged by the repetitive nature of cleaning your kitchen is to accept that messes happen, especially when you have young kids. A mess is not a sign that you have failed as a home manager; it is a sign that vibrant life is happening in your home, which is as it should be. Once you accept -- and embrace -- the mess, it will seem a lot less daunting to dig in and keep up with it.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Another thing holding many of you back from having a clean kitchen is your own perfectionism. What's that, you wonder? Wouldn't a perfectionist have a perfectly clean kitchen?
The answer is no -- and here's why: A perfectionist starts by washing the dishes. But as she is soaking a particularly greasy pan, she notices some hard water stains on the faucet. So she grabs a toothbrush and some hard water stain remover (Tile Juice or Scum Bum) and begins to furiously scrub her entire sink. Next thing she knows, she is using a toothpick to remove build-up from under the calking. Pretty soon, she is on her hands and knees, scouring the oven, bleaching the garbage pail and rearranging the fridge. All of this activity is caused by perfection-itis. This is an incredibly common condition that causes people to avoid doing tasks they can't do perfectly. And of course, the perfectionist's definition of perfect is a whole lot more exacting than that of the non-perfectionist.
The good news is that there is a cure for perfection-itis: Limit yourself to no more than 20 minutes of daily kitchen cleaning. Set a timer if you have to. It may seem impossible at first, but you will get used to it.
Make a List and Check it Twice
Make a master list that tells you everything you have to do each day to keep your kitchen clean. Below is a basic outline with the seven essential chores, but you may need to tweak it for your personal set-up. These tasks should take you no longer than 20 minutes, and that includes washing the dishes!
If you are a beginner at keeping a clean kitchen, you may want to print out this list and post it on your fridge as a daily reminder. If you are a perfectionist, you may want to print multiple copies, so you can cross off items as you go (perfectionists love checking off lists!).
1. Load the dishwasher. If you have a personal dishwasher rather than an electric one, make sure that all dishes are hand washed by the end of each day. Before you go to bed, all dirty dishes, pots and pans should be vanished from the sink and the countertops. I prefer to run the dishwasher at the end of each day, right before I go to bed. I pop into the kitchen, get a glass of water and press start on my dishwasher.
2. Unload the dishwasher. Start your day by emptying out the dishwasher or the dish drain. That way as new dishes get dirty throughout the day, you will have no problem popping them into the dishwasher. If your dishwasher is still full of last night's clean dishes, the dirties will quickly pile up. Avoiding the pile-up helps you to avoid feeling negative about your kitchen and yourself.
3. Wipe the counters and table (if you have one) as you go. Don't leave this task until the end of the day. It takes less than 30 seconds to wipe off your counter tops and table after preparing or eating a sandwich, so don't let those crumbs sit. Like dirty dishes, crumbs tend to multiply, which discourages you from your goal of a clean kitchen. Keep a stack of cleaning cloths under your sink, along with a spray bottle of Red Juice. Unless your crumbs/splatters really go flying, there is no need to move your toaster and any other appliances. Just clean what you can see is dirty.
4. Wipe the stovetop as you go. Like with the counter top, this is a 30-second task that should be done as it needs doing. If you wait until the end of the day, you'll end up with burnt-on messes. Instead, wipe down your stovetop as soon as you are done cooking. Let the burners cool a bit and then spray them with Red Juice and wipe with a cleaning cloth.
5. Sweep the floor. You can leave this task until the end of the day, unless there is some major Cheerio disaster at breakfast. Do a quick sweep and dump the crumbs in the garbage bin. If there are major spills, spot clean them with a paper towel or sponge. Unless your floor is a huge mess, you can leave mopping for your once-a-week cleaning. Remember: The goal is not perfection! The goal is clean.
6. Empty the garbage and sort the recycling. Depending on how much garbage you produce and how large your bin is, you may need to do this nightly, or just a few times a week. Also, be sure to wash out any containers for recycling and put them in the right place.
7. Put away mail, school papers, etc. Kitchen flat surfaces are magnets for paper clutter. Since you can't wipe off your counters or your table when they are full of permission slips and junk mail, find a central place (like a pretty basket on top of your kitchen table) to keep this stuff until you can sort through it all.
Whether your cleaning challenge is perfectionism, laziness or untested skills, these seven steps will make it a breeze for anyone to maintain a clean kitchen. None of these tasks should take longer than 3 or 4 minutes -- and most will take less than one minute. And remember the key: Accept the mess, then roll of your sleeves and dig in to clean it up.
9/30/08
Here's a fabulous little tidbit from the Brat Factory, which is run by Pam Young, the lady in the decluttering video we watched.
My approach to our little brats is very simplistic. All I want us to do is become aware of our under-the- radar-of-our-conscious-mind thinking so we can behave in ways that create well-being. I decided to "play" with the concept in a light-hearted way and so I named that self-indulgent, self-defeating "voice" within me, Nelly.
I believe we were meant to glorify God within us. We are all children of God and as His children we have been given the blessed gift of choice. We get to be a mess if we want to. We get to be fat if we want to, spend more than we make if we want to OR we can "get a hold of ourselves" (that immature, self-indulgent, often hurt little part of us) and in kindness and love (two more gifts we've been given by God) shed light on our brats and remind ourselves what we REALLY want.
Remember, discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. I know you all want to thrive. I know you want clean, cozy, happy homes. I know you want free time to be creative, to read and learn and to play. It all starts within you. It's within you that you get God's strength. It's within you that you receive His love. It's within you that you decide to be organized.
Being alert and aware to the self- defeating voice takes practice and practicing that won't be admitting you have a split personality. (People with split personalities aren't aware they have turned into another person.) All we are doing with our brats is becoming aware of thoughts that won't create well-being.
My guess is your brat thinks stuff like: 'I'll put that away later. It's not fair I have to do that. I want to play on the computer now. I don't have to do that 'cause I'm big now and I can do what I want.' When we grow up we are suppose to give up our childish ways, but we don't always do that. We are such a self-indulgent society and it does not serve us well. My goal is to be mature but still have child-like qualities, not childish ways.
Childlike qualities to me are faith, optimism, curiosity, enthusiasm, joy, staying teachable, etc. Childish ways to me are selfishness, rebellion, tantrums, over-indulgence, slovenly ways etc. There is no danger in recognizing self-defeating and self-indulgent behavior and doing something about it. Quite the opposite is true. We have been given the ability to self-destruct. It's all up to us.
Flylady says there is no Magic Pill, but I think there is! Our brats are little pills sometimes and they are magic. Over the years we have ignored our inner brats and they have been able to function under-the-radar of our consciousness and stay alive all these years. They crave our attention and if we will be kind, compassionate and loving with ourselves we will be amazed at what these little pills will do!
Please visit our website at www.thebratfactor.com.
My approach to our little brats is very simplistic. All I want us to do is become aware of our under-the- radar-of-our-conscious-mind thinking so we can behave in ways that create well-being. I decided to "play" with the concept in a light-hearted way and so I named that self-indulgent, self-defeating "voice" within me, Nelly.
I believe we were meant to glorify God within us. We are all children of God and as His children we have been given the blessed gift of choice. We get to be a mess if we want to. We get to be fat if we want to, spend more than we make if we want to OR we can "get a hold of ourselves" (that immature, self-indulgent, often hurt little part of us) and in kindness and love (two more gifts we've been given by God) shed light on our brats and remind ourselves what we REALLY want.
Remember, discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. I know you all want to thrive. I know you want clean, cozy, happy homes. I know you want free time to be creative, to read and learn and to play. It all starts within you. It's within you that you get God's strength. It's within you that you receive His love. It's within you that you decide to be organized.
Being alert and aware to the self- defeating voice takes practice and practicing that won't be admitting you have a split personality. (People with split personalities aren't aware they have turned into another person.) All we are doing with our brats is becoming aware of thoughts that won't create well-being.
My guess is your brat thinks stuff like: 'I'll put that away later. It's not fair I have to do that. I want to play on the computer now. I don't have to do that 'cause I'm big now and I can do what I want.' When we grow up we are suppose to give up our childish ways, but we don't always do that. We are such a self-indulgent society and it does not serve us well. My goal is to be mature but still have child-like qualities, not childish ways.
Childlike qualities to me are faith, optimism, curiosity, enthusiasm, joy, staying teachable, etc. Childish ways to me are selfishness, rebellion, tantrums, over-indulgence, slovenly ways etc. There is no danger in recognizing self-defeating and self-indulgent behavior and doing something about it. Quite the opposite is true. We have been given the ability to self-destruct. It's all up to us.
Flylady says there is no Magic Pill, but I think there is! Our brats are little pills sometimes and they are magic. Over the years we have ignored our inner brats and they have been able to function under-the-radar of our consciousness and stay alive all these years. They crave our attention and if we will be kind, compassionate and loving with ourselves we will be amazed at what these little pills will do!
Please visit our website at www.thebratfactor.com.
9/28/08
Pam & Peggy's Card File System
Well, I finally found ONE advantage to the Pam & Peggy card file system. This is a little bit like the Huck Finn system of getting your work done:
From a subscriber:
When my kids were young (they are all adults now) I was on your 3x5 cardfile system and when the neighbor children would come to my house, I made up games for them to play. One game I called "Beat the Clock" and I would give everyone a Hula Hoop to place on the floor. Then I would throw all the "3x5 job cards" that needed to be done, into the air. Whatever cards landed in their hoop were their jobs. The kids would race around the house to be the first to complete the tasks. Everyone always got a Popsicle and my kids loved the extra help doing their chores.
One boy came to visit me after he was 30 years old and told me that he cleaned my toilets more than he ever cleaned his own! My niece also made me promise to never tell her mother that she knew HOW to clean ovens and stove tops. But she certainly cleaned mine, and had fun doing it.
Your fantastic card system has been such a blessing. I was definitely a SHE and proud to say I still am. I agree with you, LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!
To order the 3x5 cardfile system click here. The Brat Factory
From a subscriber:
When my kids were young (they are all adults now) I was on your 3x5 cardfile system and when the neighbor children would come to my house, I made up games for them to play. One game I called "Beat the Clock" and I would give everyone a Hula Hoop to place on the floor. Then I would throw all the "3x5 job cards" that needed to be done, into the air. Whatever cards landed in their hoop were their jobs. The kids would race around the house to be the first to complete the tasks. Everyone always got a Popsicle and my kids loved the extra help doing their chores.
One boy came to visit me after he was 30 years old and told me that he cleaned my toilets more than he ever cleaned his own! My niece also made me promise to never tell her mother that she knew HOW to clean ovens and stove tops. But she certainly cleaned mine, and had fun doing it.
Your fantastic card system has been such a blessing. I was definitely a SHE and proud to say I still am. I agree with you, LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!
To order the 3x5 cardfile system click here. The Brat Factory
9/22/08
Great Improvements with Decluttering
I thought this was a nice little essay to share with you. I like how she's had such a dramatic transformation and didn't even realize it. That's why I'm so adamant about you taking your before and after pictures. That way you can really SEE the difference.
Dear FlyLady,
Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for what a difference you've made in my life, and very much in my marriage. When I started dating my now-husband, I lived in an apartment with my(cleaning-challenged) younger brother and two cats (one of whom made it his mission to pee everywhere, no matter what I did or sprayed on my furniture, and rugs - ew). It was cluttered, messy, smelly and, thanks largely but not entirely to the cats, dirty. My now-DH was silently horrified, and only when I reformed did he tell me how disgusting it was.
We now live in a 1-bedroom apartment with a nice open feel to it. Why? Lots and lots of clutter purging, very minimal furniture, and lots of little cleaning. Thanks to your FlyLady system, both my toilets are almost always clean, my bed has a pretty comforter and is almost always made, we have a working mail system that keeps bills at the front, and before my pre-bed moisturizing etc, I lay out my outfit for the next day (saving much sleep-fogged time in the morning!). I have especially found helpful your reflections on eliminating martyrdom, and blessing our families with cleaning, so not only is our apartment clean and welcoming, my attitude about the cleaning is also (again, mostly :)).
Several months ago, my best friend and former housemate of 3 years (I even shared a room with her for several months) came to visit and walked around the apartment thoughtfully, and finally said to me,"So... is your house always this clean?" And I just looked blank for a second while I looked around, then said, "Um, yeah, pretty much." That's when I realized what an amazing transformation has taken place.
Thanks to you FlyLady, the contrast could not be more amazing. I can assure you this transformation did not start with me, but it has become a part of me.
Thank you very much!
Flying in Northern Virginia
FlyLady here: If I can help you do one thing it is to declutter. When you do...you fling the clutter and CHAOS out of your home. It is so much easier to keep your home clean when you don't have piles of stuff sitting everywhere and falling out of closets and cabinets.
Today we are starting our Super Fling Boogie. We are in zone 4 - the master bedroom. Kelly's mission today is to declutter the tops of our dressers. The first thing to do when decluttering is to throw away anything that is trash. Those receipts, post it notes, etc that are just claiming space - toss them!. The next thing is to look at what is left on your dresser - Do you need it? Do you love it? Do you use it?
Do you have anything on your dresser that needs to be put away someplace else? Pick up, put away, then pick up and put in a give away box that you will donate later.
During the next month we will declutter in every zone. As you declutter we want you to post the pounds flung in the Super Fling Boogie Meter!! If you throw it away, donate to charity, give it to a friend or neighbor, post it on freecycle.org. ..you post the pounds on the meter. http://flylady. net/pages/ sfb_meter_ 1.asp
9/20/08
Good Tip for Fish Food
I got this tip in the mail and I thought it was great. I know that probably none of you actually have fish, but maybe you can adapt the idea into something useful. In order to stop her kids from overfeeding the fish, this lady came up with a great idea. She got one of those weekly pill dispensers at the grocery store that has a little spot for each day. Then she puts a little pinch of fish food in each little spot. That way the kids know exactly how much to feed the fish and she can tell at a glance whether the fish have been fed or not each day. I love simple, clever ideas like this!
Now how can you adapt this idea for your own use? First of all, it is great for taking your pills. I've had one for years. It's so much easier than opening up 3 or 4 different bottles and when you go on vacation, it takes up a lot less space.
They come in a larger size - we gave my husband one as part of his gag gifts for his 50th birthday, but the larger size would be nice for other things. Maybe you could put notes in it for weekly chores for your kids (or yourself!). Or you could fill it with those mini candy bars for a daily reward. Get creative!
I've also seen something similar for clothes. It's a nylon thing that hangs from the clothes bar and there are little slots to put daily outfits in. Each pocket is labeled with a day of the week. They're intended for little kids, but there's no reason you couldn't use them yourself. Wouldn't it be nice to start the work week with your clothes all picked out and ready to go for the whole week?
My Mom used to make her own TV dinners. She would save the trays from ones she'd bought, then she'd take a fill them up with chicken nuggets, those frozen french fries or tater tots and some apple sauce or pudding. Then she'd cover them with foil, stack them up and freeze them. It's not much work and it's a lot more cost effective than buying them. I've tried the month-long cooking thing where you make up large portions of several recipes and then freeze them. It's a lot of work, but my family really enjoyed them. I've done the My Girlfriend's Kitchen thing a few times too. It's a fun evening to put all the meals together and my family raves about their recipes. Maybe I'll try that again this month...
Do any of you have any good ideas like this to share?
9/18/08
Inspiration for the Day
This tidbit comes to us from Ralph Marsden who runs a site called the Daily Motivator. He has a ton of these little essays on there and for a small fee, you can have them sent directly to your mailbox every morning. What a great way to start your day!
Always something
There is always something positive that you can do. On the best of days, or in the most challenging of circumstances, you can choose to move forward.
Conditions are not as bad as they seem, nor are conditions as good as they appear. Conditions are whatever you choose to make of them.
It's up to you to take the energy of this day and give it a specific direction. Though circumstances are constantly changing, you can always choose to move in the direction of your dreams.
Of course there are complications, challenges and obstacles. And you can use them all to create your own path forward.
You are in control of your thoughts and actions. That's a powerful place from which to operate, no matter what the outside circumstances may be.
There is always something positive, productive, enriching and fulfilling that you can do. Get up, get going, and make a difference in your own special way.
-- Ralph Marston
9/16/08
Good tip for kid's rooms
Here's a great tip from Pam of the Bratfactory.com on helping kids clean their rooms. I've tried lots of strategies, but I've never tried this one. I think it's great. You could post the pictures on the wall or the book case or whatever so they can see in a glance exactly what it's supposed to look like:
I use my camera after I clean (my boys' room) so that they can see how it is suppose to look after they clean it. It works, they try to match it toy for toy, shelf for shelf and even under the bed. They love having an example to guide them. Kim Galvan
I use my camera after I clean (my boys' room) so that they can see how it is suppose to look after they clean it. It works, they try to match it toy for toy, shelf for shelf and even under the bed. They love having an example to guide them. Kim Galvan
9/15/08
Depression
Here's an essay Flylady posted a while back about Depression. She reposts it from time-to-time because a lot of people who have problems like ours are also suffering from depression.
Here is an essay I wrote about my depression.
Dear Friends,
Many years ago when I was going though a rough time in my life; my step-father had died, my marriage was falling apart, I had lost a job because my boss had died and the list could go on for a while of all the changes that were taking place in my life. I was tired and my fatigue level kept dropping and I didn't even realize what was happening. It took a friend to see that I was depressed and needed some help. Change is difficult at best for most people, but when we get double and triple whammied we can have a hard time. For instance we have a baby. That has its own difficulties with baby blues and post partum depression. Then bringing a new baby home and the stress related to changing your routine to nurture this young life and yourself. A lot of the times you get left out.
When my friend noticed the changes in me over a few months she got me an appointment with her psychologist in Memphis. She asked me to go with her to this appointment. She failed to tell me it was for me. I pulled myself together and we drove two hours. When we got there she informed me that the appointment was for me because I had not been myself for many months. When I look back at myself; I see me sitting for hours and not moving just sitting. I was not taking care of myself. I was barely eating.
After talking with the therapist it was suggest that I check myself into the hospital. I couldn't do that at the time. We drove home. I told my son's father (I will not call him a husband) that they wanted me to get some treatment. He said, "If you check yourself into the loony bin then don't bother coming home!" I look back and think how could someone be that inconsiderate but I am thankful for his attitude today. Because it was those words that pushed me to get help.
They made me mad and my anger helped me to feel something! I packed my bags and drove back that night. While in the treatment facility you were not allowed to take medication. This was to help people with drug dependencies. My dependency was not drugs but food. After I got out of the ten day treatment, I saw a psychiatrist. He suggested that I needed to take medication to regulate the chemicals in my brain. He told me about a brand new drug that could help me. I told him that I really didn't want to take medications but he explained that if I needed blood pressure medicine or insulin that I would not turn down those life saving drugs. I needed help to save my life because I had lost my way.
To be honest I had suicidal thoughts. That scared me. So pair that with being angry, I told him I would take the Prozac. He explained that it would take about nine days for it to get into my system. On the ninth day I woke up with a new attitude. It was as if the light had been turn on and it was no longer night all the time. This was the day I started to live again. I slowly began to gain control over my lack of feelings. I will never forget the first time I felt the cramps. I actually celebrated being able to feel pain. I had been numb with depression. Taking my medication helped me to feel again. I got over my fear of taking medication to save my life. It took the love of another person to see the drastic changes in my personality.
Then it took a surge of adrenaline from anger to get me moving. Then it took the medication to help me over the hump and onto an even playing field. When you have fallen into a depression; don't ever want to go there again. You can feel yourself sliding and you can stop the slide by recognizing the signs. In 1995 I had another tough year. I started to feel myself isolate and I stopped the slide by going to my local mental health office. I knew that God had brought me to North Carolina for a reason and I was determined to find out what that was. I am so happy that I did. As you can see, I had to go through this to help you understand that we don't have to suffer with depression. We can get help. This is what FLYing is all about; Finally Loving yourself enough to take care ofyou with babysteps. Go see your doctor, establish simple habits to help relieve stress; go to bed at a decent hour and get out in the sun and do some loving movement.
Don't be ashamed to take your medications. For more information on depression; I went to the Mayo Clinic. http://www.mayoclin ic.com/health/ depression/ DS00175/DSECTION =2
FlyLady
Here is an essay I wrote about my depression.
Dear Friends,
Many years ago when I was going though a rough time in my life; my step-father had died, my marriage was falling apart, I had lost a job because my boss had died and the list could go on for a while of all the changes that were taking place in my life. I was tired and my fatigue level kept dropping and I didn't even realize what was happening. It took a friend to see that I was depressed and needed some help. Change is difficult at best for most people, but when we get double and triple whammied we can have a hard time. For instance we have a baby. That has its own difficulties with baby blues and post partum depression. Then bringing a new baby home and the stress related to changing your routine to nurture this young life and yourself. A lot of the times you get left out.
When my friend noticed the changes in me over a few months she got me an appointment with her psychologist in Memphis. She asked me to go with her to this appointment. She failed to tell me it was for me. I pulled myself together and we drove two hours. When we got there she informed me that the appointment was for me because I had not been myself for many months. When I look back at myself; I see me sitting for hours and not moving just sitting. I was not taking care of myself. I was barely eating.
After talking with the therapist it was suggest that I check myself into the hospital. I couldn't do that at the time. We drove home. I told my son's father (I will not call him a husband) that they wanted me to get some treatment. He said, "If you check yourself into the loony bin then don't bother coming home!" I look back and think how could someone be that inconsiderate but I am thankful for his attitude today. Because it was those words that pushed me to get help.
They made me mad and my anger helped me to feel something! I packed my bags and drove back that night. While in the treatment facility you were not allowed to take medication. This was to help people with drug dependencies. My dependency was not drugs but food. After I got out of the ten day treatment, I saw a psychiatrist. He suggested that I needed to take medication to regulate the chemicals in my brain. He told me about a brand new drug that could help me. I told him that I really didn't want to take medications but he explained that if I needed blood pressure medicine or insulin that I would not turn down those life saving drugs. I needed help to save my life because I had lost my way.
To be honest I had suicidal thoughts. That scared me. So pair that with being angry, I told him I would take the Prozac. He explained that it would take about nine days for it to get into my system. On the ninth day I woke up with a new attitude. It was as if the light had been turn on and it was no longer night all the time. This was the day I started to live again. I slowly began to gain control over my lack of feelings. I will never forget the first time I felt the cramps. I actually celebrated being able to feel pain. I had been numb with depression. Taking my medication helped me to feel again. I got over my fear of taking medication to save my life. It took the love of another person to see the drastic changes in my personality.
Then it took a surge of adrenaline from anger to get me moving. Then it took the medication to help me over the hump and onto an even playing field. When you have fallen into a depression; don't ever want to go there again. You can feel yourself sliding and you can stop the slide by recognizing the signs. In 1995 I had another tough year. I started to feel myself isolate and I stopped the slide by going to my local mental health office. I knew that God had brought me to North Carolina for a reason and I was determined to find out what that was. I am so happy that I did. As you can see, I had to go through this to help you understand that we don't have to suffer with depression. We can get help. This is what FLYing is all about; Finally Loving yourself enough to take care ofyou with babysteps. Go see your doctor, establish simple habits to help relieve stress; go to bed at a decent hour and get out in the sun and do some loving movement.
Don't be ashamed to take your medications. For more information on depression; I went to the Mayo Clinic. http://www.mayoclin ic.com/health/ depression/ DS00175/DSECTION =2
Are you ready to FLY? I survived and you can too. Reach out and take my hand!
FlyLady
9/14/08
Habit
Here's a little tidbit I got in my mail today. This is totally my nemisis. My bad habits rule my life and I only get past them with great effort. That's where our daily routines are so helpful. Those are good habits we are trying to build that will help us conquer our bad habits.
by John Di Lemme
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me, and I will do them automatically.
I am easliy managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and I will do it quickly and correctly.
I am the servant of all great men and women, and all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intelligence of a human being.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am Habit.
by John Di Lemme
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me, and I will do them automatically.
I am easliy managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and I will do it quickly and correctly.
I am the servant of all great men and women, and all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intelligence of a human being.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am Habit.
9/13/08
Clean House Equals Money in the Bank??
The other day, I was over at the home of one of my "cleanie" friends and it's really got me thinking. This lady had a gorgeous house that was beautiful and apparently effortlessly clean. I was in several different rooms and all of them were gorgeously decorated and looking wonderful even though she works and wasn't expecting visitors.
I used to feel really bad about myself when I would go into homes like this. Now I try to use people like this as an example and a way to get ideas. Obviously, I'll never manage to keep my home exactly like this because she has that "born organized" gene and I don't, but I think it's an opportunity to learn. The interesting thing is that people like this probably don't spend HALF the time cleaning that we do. Because they've got those naturally neat habits, they just sort of pick things up all the time as they are going about their day, so they never have a big mess to deal with like I do. And apparently this has rubbed off on her husband and children, which is wonderful. I've seen both her kids rooms and they are just as nice as the rest of the house.
I have several friends like this and there's one thing I've noticed. They all seem to be in the category, I would term as "well-to-do" or some of them are even quite wealthy. They certainly have beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods that are full of beautiful furniture and decor. This leads me to kind of a chicken or egg question. Are they doing well because they have neat habits, or do they have neat habits because they are well to do?
Personally, I kind of think it is the first one. I think they are doing well because of the neat habits they have developed. The good habits that make for a nice house are the same habits that make for a good worker and a good parent. What employer doesn't want an employee who is organized, meticulous, and self-disciplined? And these same skills come in very handy as a parent. I know that my kids struggle a lot in school, not because they aren't really, really smart, but because I don't do well in helping them keep organized.
Here's an interesting thought. What if we were to take like three months and really focus on building our routines and getting our house into this kind of shape? I'll bet that then we would have the confidence and the skills to go out and get a better job and do a much better job with managing our money. We'd probably be much better parents too.
I've heard of this before. Flylady has said many times that messy houses are often tied with other problems, such as weight issues, money problems, marital problems and low-self esteem. But it's kind of like a spider web. When you tighten up one thread in the web, the other ones just automatically tighten up as well. And what a great goal. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if we could all have a clean house, lots of money, great kids, AND a skinny body - whoohoo!
I used to feel really bad about myself when I would go into homes like this. Now I try to use people like this as an example and a way to get ideas. Obviously, I'll never manage to keep my home exactly like this because she has that "born organized" gene and I don't, but I think it's an opportunity to learn. The interesting thing is that people like this probably don't spend HALF the time cleaning that we do. Because they've got those naturally neat habits, they just sort of pick things up all the time as they are going about their day, so they never have a big mess to deal with like I do. And apparently this has rubbed off on her husband and children, which is wonderful. I've seen both her kids rooms and they are just as nice as the rest of the house.
I have several friends like this and there's one thing I've noticed. They all seem to be in the category, I would term as "well-to-do" or some of them are even quite wealthy. They certainly have beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods that are full of beautiful furniture and decor. This leads me to kind of a chicken or egg question. Are they doing well because they have neat habits, or do they have neat habits because they are well to do?
Personally, I kind of think it is the first one. I think they are doing well because of the neat habits they have developed. The good habits that make for a nice house are the same habits that make for a good worker and a good parent. What employer doesn't want an employee who is organized, meticulous, and self-disciplined? And these same skills come in very handy as a parent. I know that my kids struggle a lot in school, not because they aren't really, really smart, but because I don't do well in helping them keep organized.
Here's an interesting thought. What if we were to take like three months and really focus on building our routines and getting our house into this kind of shape? I'll bet that then we would have the confidence and the skills to go out and get a better job and do a much better job with managing our money. We'd probably be much better parents too.
I've heard of this before. Flylady has said many times that messy houses are often tied with other problems, such as weight issues, money problems, marital problems and low-self esteem. But it's kind of like a spider web. When you tighten up one thread in the web, the other ones just automatically tighten up as well. And what a great goal. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if we could all have a clean house, lots of money, great kids, AND a skinny body - whoohoo!
9/9/08
The Happiness File
Here is a little post I received from Pam Jones - one of the ladies in the decluttering video we watched.
Dear Friends,
I know each one of you, because we are the same. One of your common questions since I started receiving mail from SHEs in 1978 (after writing Sidetracked Home Executives with my sister Peggy) has been: "Have you been looking in my windows?"
You saw yourself in our books and you were happy to know that you were not alone. We are all the same. We laugh the same, we cry the same, we are capable of some of the biggest messes in the world, but we are awesomely made and we are capable of incredible feats. I know you and I love you because we are the same.
In my 30 plus years of public speaking, I have been blessed to see you in a thousand audiences when you come together to learn and share your light. You are yummy bouquets of smiling, joyful, loving and beautiful flowers. There is nothing more rewarding in this world for me than to see and hear that you are getting organized and loving it.
Because when you get organized you are happier! Your mate is happier, your babies are happier and the world becomes a better place. That's why you are here. You were created to be happy and make this world a better place.
Speaking of being happy, FlyLady and I are so thrilled and excited to announce the premiere of the Happiness File Audio Book! In our career, Peggy and I wrote six books together, but the Happiness File generated more mail then all the others put together.
We received thousands of loving letters from grateful readers who told us the book changed their lives. Marla Cilley (Flylady) was one of them. It is because of the Happiness File's gentle nudging to be happier by breaking down life's common obstacles into manageable parts (baby steps) that she was able to change her circumstances and with her love and God-given talents, grow into the woman she shares with you today.
For more than ten years Marla has wanted to bring this book back into circulation and today it is a reality in a form that fits with our new technology. We wrote that book more than twenty years ago and what struck me as I was recording it for you is that the main ideas are as pertinent today as they were in the eighties. True, times change but life principles don't. We all need love and understanding. We need approval when we've done something good. We need encouragement and we all need to laugh, play and enjoy life.
The Happiness File can help lead you to a deeper realization that all is well, you are loved and you can change your circumstances when you change your mind. It took me almost a year to record The Happiness File in a state-of-the-art sound studio and I feel as though I've been in a cocoon with a beautiful butterfly. Now, because of FlyLady I can let this wonderful work fly in a new form!
We are very pleased with this talking book and we can't wait to hear how it has changed your life! Go to www.happinessfile.com to enjoy chapter one, The Golden Halo, free of charge and to order the entire book if you wish.
Love, Pam
Dear Friends,
I know each one of you, because we are the same. One of your common questions since I started receiving mail from SHEs in 1978 (after writing Sidetracked Home Executives with my sister Peggy) has been: "Have you been looking in my windows?"
You saw yourself in our books and you were happy to know that you were not alone. We are all the same. We laugh the same, we cry the same, we are capable of some of the biggest messes in the world, but we are awesomely made and we are capable of incredible feats. I know you and I love you because we are the same.
In my 30 plus years of public speaking, I have been blessed to see you in a thousand audiences when you come together to learn and share your light. You are yummy bouquets of smiling, joyful, loving and beautiful flowers. There is nothing more rewarding in this world for me than to see and hear that you are getting organized and loving it.
Because when you get organized you are happier! Your mate is happier, your babies are happier and the world becomes a better place. That's why you are here. You were created to be happy and make this world a better place.
Speaking of being happy, FlyLady and I are so thrilled and excited to announce the premiere of the Happiness File Audio Book! In our career, Peggy and I wrote six books together, but the Happiness File generated more mail then all the others put together.
We received thousands of loving letters from grateful readers who told us the book changed their lives. Marla Cilley (Flylady) was one of them. It is because of the Happiness File's gentle nudging to be happier by breaking down life's common obstacles into manageable parts (baby steps) that she was able to change her circumstances and with her love and God-given talents, grow into the woman she shares with you today.
For more than ten years Marla has wanted to bring this book back into circulation and today it is a reality in a form that fits with our new technology. We wrote that book more than twenty years ago and what struck me as I was recording it for you is that the main ideas are as pertinent today as they were in the eighties. True, times change but life principles don't. We all need love and understanding. We need approval when we've done something good. We need encouragement and we all need to laugh, play and enjoy life.
The Happiness File can help lead you to a deeper realization that all is well, you are loved and you can change your circumstances when you change your mind. It took me almost a year to record The Happiness File in a state-of-the-art sound studio and I feel as though I've been in a cocoon with a beautiful butterfly. Now, because of FlyLady I can let this wonderful work fly in a new form!
We are very pleased with this talking book and we can't wait to hear how it has changed your life! Go to www.happinessfile.com to enjoy chapter one, The Golden Halo, free of charge and to order the entire book if you wish.
Love, Pam
9/8/08
YAHOO - You Always Have Other Options
I thought this was an interesting testimonial just because it shows that even if you start off on the wrong way of doing things, you can always back up and make a different choice. In other words - YAHOO: You Always Have Other Options.
I am writing to say thank you for being the God Breeze I really needed in my life. I have suffered badly from depression at several points in my life. I began fluttering with FlyLady some years ago but gave it up along with a lot of other things that were good in my life in the face of the last onslaught of depression. I stopped caring about myself and my home. I have a DD and a DH who badly needed me and I got through for them and managed to do what I needed to get us by, just functioning on autopilot. We often turned up late for things. I was often really stressed and would shout and because I was very disorganized. I was often worried and anxious. All things that just fed feeling more and more depressed. I gave up my dance class and didn't see people, I just withdrew from life and felt miserable.
A few months ago I began to feel a little bit brighter. So much so that I thought that I would begin to clear out the house. I thought that a "once and for all clear out" was the way forward for me. I thought I wouldn't do it the FlyLady way. I thought that I would just go for it. My weird logic was if I trashed the house then I would HAVE to do something about it and clear up the mess. (Can you see the flaw in the plan already?).
So I cleared out my shed. I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs and I began to clear out the attic. I had stuff in the hallway, stuff in the dining room, stuff in the living room, stuff in the bedroom. ALL OVER THE HOUSE! Then I burnt out. So much for feeling better, now the house was a total tip and clutter breeds clutter (as you guys know). Doing housework became really difficult and I felt really low about it.
I felt that I was a failure to my family and a failure to myself. A month or so went past living in this horrible chaos then I thought about the FlyLady. Maybe there was more to that than I thought. Maybe there was a way to deal with all the clutter in my house. I got off my Franny and ordered your book off of the website. I have read it and thought about it and it has all finally clicked.
I began with a morning routine and just got used to that. It was pretty much all I could manage at first but I felt really good about it. There was an instant improvement in the house and the way I felt.I really enjoyed the feeling of conquering my Mount Washmore. I then decided to shine my sink. My sink is beautiful. DH and DD started noticing that Mum seemed a little happier and more calm at this point and I started to talk about the FlyLady with them.
They began to help with the morning routine too. I then took on the clutter in each room left over from my disastrous "once and for all clearout". My DH helped and my DD was really wonderful and decluttered her own room (with my loving and calm help – I realized that we all need clear directions about what to do and we need to be encouraged and praised for doing it).
As I sit and type this with tears running down my cheeks I really need to tell you that my house is looking really good. I have managed to deal with all the clutter from my clear out and am continuing to do fifteen minutes decluttering every day. I have put in the evening routine and am really working on turning it into a habit. When I set out my clothes the night before I put my bath robe next to my bed, in the morning I slip into that and am snugly and warm while I get mybreakfast and the others breakfast ready (I've been spoiling them with breakfast in bed recently - I love to do it. Such a nice way to wake them up and welcome them to their day) and then I get showered and pamper myself with my face creams (I do this morning and evening DH has commented on how great my skin is looking) and then I get dressed to shoes (so easy with my clothes already picked out) and start the morning jobs.
My DD has gone back to school this week and was all organized calm and happy and I've made the packed lunches the night before and the mornings have become a fun time. We laugh where we used to shout and feel stressed. The clothes are all clean, the dishes are all clean in the dishwasher (bedtime routine to thank for that!) and there is a happiness and a peace in our house that I have never known.
In the next couple of months I am going to set about organizing the finances with the help of FACE which I have discovered on your website and want to explore further and I am looking forward to adding in more routines one BabyStep at a time. I feel really good about myself and about my home and about my family.
I realize that feeling good really is something that is infectious and we're all laughing so much more and I am beginning to really get better. I'm going back to dance class next week and I've got myself a new job and am feeling really great and excited about that. And I have to tell you before I go that today I didn't manage to do all of the morning routine before I had to go and take my DD to school. When I got home my DH had done it all for me because it was clear what had to be done (post-it notes all over the place you see!)
Thank you FlyLady for being there. All of the routines and the testimonials and the essays are inspirational and I am beginning to understand about finally loving myself and because I am taking care of me I am suddenly able to love and support my DH and DD so much more and I know that I will grow and grow from this point onwards. Thank you for all that you do.
FlyBaby in the UK
FlyLady here: Oh...purple puddles! I am so glad that routines and BabySteps have helped this FlyBaby claim the peace she deserves. If you are feeling depressed... please seek medical help. This is what I did when I was depressed. Follow the prescribed medical treatment. FLYing means finally loving yourself..and if you are depressed you won't be able to love yourself. Our habit for September is the before bed routine. It is amazing how much better your morning is with a few BabySteps in the evening. Tonight...after your busy day...do a little..and go to sleep knowing that an easier morning awaits you!!!!
Dear FlyLady,
I am writing to say thank you for being the God Breeze I really needed in my life. I have suffered badly from depression at several points in my life. I began fluttering with FlyLady some years ago but gave it up along with a lot of other things that were good in my life in the face of the last onslaught of depression. I stopped caring about myself and my home. I have a DD and a DH who badly needed me and I got through for them and managed to do what I needed to get us by, just functioning on autopilot. We often turned up late for things. I was often really stressed and would shout and because I was very disorganized. I was often worried and anxious. All things that just fed feeling more and more depressed. I gave up my dance class and didn't see people, I just withdrew from life and felt miserable.
A few months ago I began to feel a little bit brighter. So much so that I thought that I would begin to clear out the house. I thought that a "once and for all clear out" was the way forward for me. I thought I wouldn't do it the FlyLady way. I thought that I would just go for it. My weird logic was if I trashed the house then I would HAVE to do something about it and clear up the mess. (Can you see the flaw in the plan already?).
So I cleared out my shed. I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs and I began to clear out the attic. I had stuff in the hallway, stuff in the dining room, stuff in the living room, stuff in the bedroom. ALL OVER THE HOUSE! Then I burnt out. So much for feeling better, now the house was a total tip and clutter breeds clutter (as you guys know). Doing housework became really difficult and I felt really low about it.
I felt that I was a failure to my family and a failure to myself. A month or so went past living in this horrible chaos then I thought about the FlyLady. Maybe there was more to that than I thought. Maybe there was a way to deal with all the clutter in my house. I got off my Franny and ordered your book off of the website. I have read it and thought about it and it has all finally clicked.
I began with a morning routine and just got used to that. It was pretty much all I could manage at first but I felt really good about it. There was an instant improvement in the house and the way I felt.I really enjoyed the feeling of conquering my Mount Washmore. I then decided to shine my sink. My sink is beautiful. DH and DD started noticing that Mum seemed a little happier and more calm at this point and I started to talk about the FlyLady with them.
They began to help with the morning routine too. I then took on the clutter in each room left over from my disastrous "once and for all clearout". My DH helped and my DD was really wonderful and decluttered her own room (with my loving and calm help – I realized that we all need clear directions about what to do and we need to be encouraged and praised for doing it).
As I sit and type this with tears running down my cheeks I really need to tell you that my house is looking really good. I have managed to deal with all the clutter from my clear out and am continuing to do fifteen minutes decluttering every day. I have put in the evening routine and am really working on turning it into a habit. When I set out my clothes the night before I put my bath robe next to my bed, in the morning I slip into that and am snugly and warm while I get mybreakfast and the others breakfast ready (I've been spoiling them with breakfast in bed recently - I love to do it. Such a nice way to wake them up and welcome them to their day) and then I get showered and pamper myself with my face creams (I do this morning and evening DH has commented on how great my skin is looking) and then I get dressed to shoes (so easy with my clothes already picked out) and start the morning jobs.
My DD has gone back to school this week and was all organized calm and happy and I've made the packed lunches the night before and the mornings have become a fun time. We laugh where we used to shout and feel stressed. The clothes are all clean, the dishes are all clean in the dishwasher (bedtime routine to thank for that!) and there is a happiness and a peace in our house that I have never known.
In the next couple of months I am going to set about organizing the finances with the help of FACE which I have discovered on your website and want to explore further and I am looking forward to adding in more routines one BabyStep at a time. I feel really good about myself and about my home and about my family.
I realize that feeling good really is something that is infectious and we're all laughing so much more and I am beginning to really get better. I'm going back to dance class next week and I've got myself a new job and am feeling really great and excited about that. And I have to tell you before I go that today I didn't manage to do all of the morning routine before I had to go and take my DD to school. When I got home my DH had done it all for me because it was clear what had to be done (post-it notes all over the place you see!)
Thank you FlyLady for being there. All of the routines and the testimonials and the essays are inspirational and I am beginning to understand about finally loving myself and because I am taking care of me I am suddenly able to love and support my DH and DD so much more and I know that I will grow and grow from this point onwards. Thank you for all that you do.
FlyBaby in the UK
FlyLady here: Oh...purple puddles! I am so glad that routines and BabySteps have helped this FlyBaby claim the peace she deserves. If you are feeling depressed... please seek medical help. This is what I did when I was depressed. Follow the prescribed medical treatment. FLYing means finally loving yourself..and if you are depressed you won't be able to love yourself. Our habit for September is the before bed routine. It is amazing how much better your morning is with a few BabySteps in the evening. Tonight...after your busy day...do a little..and go to sleep knowing that an easier morning awaits you!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)