Dear FlyLady,
I am writing to say thank you for being the God Breeze I really needed in my life. I have suffered badly from depression at several points in my life. I began fluttering with FlyLady some years ago but gave it up along with a lot of other things that were good in my life in the face of the last onslaught of depression. I stopped caring about myself and my home. I have a DD and a DH who badly needed me and I got through for them and managed to do what I needed to get us by, just functioning on autopilot. We often turned up late for things. I was often really stressed and would shout and because I was very disorganized. I was often worried and anxious. All things that just fed feeling more and more depressed. I gave up my dance class and didn't see people, I just withdrew from life and felt miserable.
A few months ago I began to feel a little bit brighter. So much so that I thought that I would begin to clear out the house. I thought that a "once and for all clear out" was the way forward for me. I thought I wouldn't do it the FlyLady way. I thought that I would just go for it. My weird logic was if I trashed the house then I would HAVE to do something about it and clear up the mess. (Can you see the flaw in the plan already?).
So I cleared out my shed. I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs and I began to clear out the attic. I had stuff in the hallway, stuff in the dining room, stuff in the living room, stuff in the bedroom. ALL OVER THE HOUSE! Then I burnt out. So much for feeling better, now the house was a total tip and clutter breeds clutter (as you guys know). Doing housework became really difficult and I felt really low about it.
I felt that I was a failure to my family and a failure to myself. A month or so went past living in this horrible chaos then I thought about the FlyLady. Maybe there was more to that than I thought. Maybe there was a way to deal with all the clutter in my house. I got off my Franny and ordered your book off of the website. I have read it and thought about it and it has all finally clicked.
I began with a morning routine and just got used to that. It was pretty much all I could manage at first but I felt really good about it. There was an instant improvement in the house and the way I felt.I really enjoyed the feeling of conquering my Mount Washmore. I then decided to shine my sink. My sink is beautiful. DH and DD started noticing that Mum seemed a little happier and more calm at this point and I started to talk about the FlyLady with them.
They began to help with the morning routine too. I then took on the clutter in each room left over from my disastrous "once and for all clearout". My DH helped and my DD was really wonderful and decluttered her own room (with my loving and calm help – I realized that we all need clear directions about what to do and we need to be encouraged and praised for doing it).
As I sit and type this with tears running down my cheeks I really need to tell you that my house is looking really good. I have managed to deal with all the clutter from my clear out and am continuing to do fifteen minutes decluttering every day. I have put in the evening routine and am really working on turning it into a habit. When I set out my clothes the night before I put my bath robe next to my bed, in the morning I slip into that and am snugly and warm while I get mybreakfast and the others breakfast ready (I've been spoiling them with breakfast in bed recently - I love to do it. Such a nice way to wake them up and welcome them to their day) and then I get showered and pamper myself with my face creams (I do this morning and evening DH has commented on how great my skin is looking) and then I get dressed to shoes (so easy with my clothes already picked out) and start the morning jobs.
My DD has gone back to school this week and was all organized calm and happy and I've made the packed lunches the night before and the mornings have become a fun time. We laugh where we used to shout and feel stressed. The clothes are all clean, the dishes are all clean in the dishwasher (bedtime routine to thank for that!) and there is a happiness and a peace in our house that I have never known.
In the next couple of months I am going to set about organizing the finances with the help of FACE which I have discovered on your website and want to explore further and I am looking forward to adding in more routines one BabyStep at a time. I feel really good about myself and about my home and about my family.
I realize that feeling good really is something that is infectious and we're all laughing so much more and I am beginning to really get better. I'm going back to dance class next week and I've got myself a new job and am feeling really great and excited about that. And I have to tell you before I go that today I didn't manage to do all of the morning routine before I had to go and take my DD to school. When I got home my DH had done it all for me because it was clear what had to be done (post-it notes all over the place you see!)
Thank you FlyLady for being there. All of the routines and the testimonials and the essays are inspirational and I am beginning to understand about finally loving myself and because I am taking care of me I am suddenly able to love and support my DH and DD so much more and I know that I will grow and grow from this point onwards. Thank you for all that you do.
FlyBaby in the UK
FlyLady here: Oh...purple puddles! I am so glad that routines and BabySteps have helped this FlyBaby claim the peace she deserves. If you are feeling depressed... please seek medical help. This is what I did when I was depressed. Follow the prescribed medical treatment. FLYing means finally loving yourself..and if you are depressed you won't be able to love yourself. Our habit for September is the before bed routine. It is amazing how much better your morning is with a few BabySteps in the evening. Tonight...after your busy day...do a little..and go to sleep knowing that an easier morning awaits you!!!!
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