Loving vs. Indulging Yourself

This quote ties in really well with the message from the other day about how you would treat a child who behaved the way you have ben behaving.  

"Loving yourself is not the same as indulging yourself"

If you are a little bit tough on yourself and make yourself do the things you know you need to do, you are likely to be happier beause you won't have the guilt of having your chores hanging over you.  

Do you act like a kid sometimes?

I had a thought the other day. If you had a kid who didn't do their chores, didn't eat properly, and just basically wouldn't follow any of the rule you've set down (yeah, I know, who doesn't?), what would you do?

Now how many times do you act like that? We all do, don't we? We all know the things we are supposed to do around the house - dishes, laundry, picking stuff up, you name it. But for some silly reason, we just don't want to do them. What if you talked to yourself the way you would a misbehaving child? Sometimes I think it's important to address that "inner child" and admit to those issues and deal with them head-on, just the same you would if it were a real child.

On the other hand, my kids respond much better to rewards than they do to punishments. Maybe you are the type who would respond better to some kind of a reward instead. And rewards can be many different things. Maybe it's just some time to read a book, or call and talk to a friend you wouldn't normally. Maybe it's going to a movie, or even just a gold star on your hand. You have to mix it up and pick whatever is going to work.

So, go clean up your room, young lady!!!

Entryway Challenge

Today, I'd like to you to take just 30 minutes and tidy up your entryway. Sweep your front porch and get rid of anything that doesn't belong in that front porch area. Old newspapers, trash, dead plants, etc. Give your Welcome mat a shake and lay it down nice and straight. Maybe it's time for a new one?

Now open your front door. What would a guest see when they walk through your door? A pile of discarded shoes and some laundry? That's not exactly a welcome sight for a visitor. Take everything that doesn't belong in the entry way and put it where it belongs. Remember, you only have 30 minutes, so hurry! Now, consider adding one pretty touch. A new plant, a picture on the wall, a new throw rug, just something small.

When you're done, go get yourself a little treat - a magazine, some coffee, or an ice cream. You deserve it!

The Tupperware Challenge!

Oh my gosh! It's been a week since I've posted here. Sorry! I got busy. Here is a challenge for today. Go through all your Tupperwave. Match up all the bowls and lids and see how many containers you've got of each size. Then everything that doesn't match up - out it goes! If you've got too many of a particular size, give away a few.

Hint: I take my lids and put them in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Then when I find the bowl I want, I can easily pick out the matching lid. It's also easier to stack up the bowls if you have the lids separate and then they don't get all stale and stinky.

How to Organize Your Pantry

Here's a great tip - label and organize your pantry shelves. This will make cooking and grocery shopping so much easier because you'll be able to see exactly what you have on hand and what you need. Also, this is a great time to wipe down those shelves and make them all sparkly!

This is a task that can easily become overwhelming, so set your timer and start with just ONE shelf. I take everything off of one shelf and either crowd the stuff onto the other shelves, or put it on the counter. Then I take a damp cloth (I typed damn cloth!) and give the shelf a quick wipe. Then I decide what item groups I'm going to use for that shelf. Here is how I group my items:

Soups
Canned fruit & veggies
Cereals - dry cereal, oatmeal, granola, etc.
Drinks of any kind - Kool aid, hot chocolate, iced tea
Pasta and beans
Boxed staples - pancake mix, au gratin potatoes, Minute rice, etc.
Baking items - flour, sugar, baking powder, etc.
Spices (in a separate cabinet)
Snack items - chips, cookies, twinkies, crackers

The items we use the most are the ones I want on the most accessible shelves. So I would start with cereals and snack items because we use those pretty much every day. Group similar items together. Don't forget to leave a little extra space for your next shopping trip. Label your shelves so when your family is putting away groceries, they will put them in the correct place. Don't get hung up on having all the labels face a certain way or having all the boxes line up just so - that's perfectionism and it's not helpful!

Once you finish that one shelf, you can call it a day, or if you have time, start on another shelf. You should have some room since you will have moved some items down onto the first shelf. This time you might be able to just shove everything to one side and wipe it down a side at a time rather than take everything out. You'll be surprised at how much extra room you will find when everything is organized properly.

Then when you are getting ready to shop, you can see at a glance how many cans of soup you have or how many boxes of cereal. During class, you should have received one of my fabulous grocery lists. I love my grocery list! I have it in an Excel spreadsheet and I have 3 columns all separated by meal or by type. Then I can go down and just check off what we need for each meal. Example: Breakfast - I check eggs, cereal, waffles, and bagels. Paper goods - check, check, check. Paper products, cleaning supplies, pet goodies, plus a little space to write special items.

It takes me two minutes to throw together my grocery list for the week. Then I hand it to my 19-year old son and send him off to Target. He works there, so we can take advantage of his 10% employee discount - ka-ching! That adds up when you are doing two weeks worth of groceries. Plus he finds all kinds of coupons laying around. This week we are saving $15 cash rebates in addition to his 10% discount - double ka-ching! Sorry! Just had to brag a bit. Plus it is making him a very smart shopper.

But I reward him by letting him spend most of the money he saves on all the pizza, soda, and other goodies he loves for his lunches. I'd probably buy it anyway, but this way he feels like he's getting a reward - shhhhh!

Challenge for Today

You have a challenge today! Your challenge is to round up a whole grocery bag of papers and either toss them, file them, or shred them. When you are done, don't forget to reward yourself with something small.

Stress Free Holidays

This is an essay that Flylady posts every year. I know it's really early to even be thinking about Christmas, but time really speeds up this time of year and it will be here before we know it. The holidays can be such a fun time, but it can be a very stressful time, especially for people who have issues like ours.

For years I have set up my vacation to include something I call my "Christmas sanity" week. I plan 3 to 5 days of vacation time around the second week of December to get my decorating, shopping, and mailing done in time to meet the holiday shipping deadlines (most of our family is out of state). I've found this to be very helpful and reduces my stress somewhat, but I also follow some of Flylady's guidelines as far as getting my daily routines set so my house looks nice, and doing my decorating a bit at a time instead of in a marathon session. I've also tried to simplify my holiday traditions and not go so crazy spending so much money on gifts.

Dear Friends,

Every year we declare that this year we will be ready for the holidays and every single year we find ourselves wrapping gifts or running to the grocery at the last minute. Do you want to have a stress-free holiday? I can see you affirming this with your head nods! Well it is not going to happen if you just sit and wish things could be different. It is going to take a little Franny moving on your part so that your lives will be peaceful. Are you ready to look at some simple ways to keep your life calm during the holidays? If you will follow our 6 weeks worth of missions, you will have a headstart on holiday preparations.

1. The very first thing that we all have to do is maintain our homes. Now I am talking about having your routines established so your home practically cleans itself. I know you don't believe me, but it will happen if you will just get up and dress to shoes every single day, commit to keeping your sink shining and lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This is not rocket science. I can hear you now, "I don't know where to start!" I am going to tell you. Many people need to see something clean so they can keep it that way; It is the perfectionist in each of us. This is why we always start with our sinks. Shining sinks make us smile which energizes us into keeping the rest of the kitchen clean too. On our website we have a link to an essay called Crisis Cleaning. This is a simple and fun way to stay focused and get your home picked up in record time. We all have done stash and dash to get ready for company; this is a little different, because you are required to rest and take care of yourself. We use a timer, fun music and a happy attitude while we do this.

The hardest part is keeping it looking nice, but you can do this if you will pick up after yourself. Yes I said you! We are the world'sworst at putting things away when we are finished, probably because we never finish anything. If we will just practice stopping and putting things away, then your home will stay looking nice until your company comes. In fact your home will look nice for you and your family all the time, not just when guests are coming. I can hear you yelling at me. It is the rest of the family that trashes the home. Well get over it. It is your responsibility to set the example and give them fun ways to pick up and put away; 27 Fling Boogies, Hot Spot Fire Preventions twice a day or at the top of every hour. This way, things will get put away on a regular schedule. Then every night as part of your before bed routine; everything gets put away and you get to start with a peaceful room each morning.

http://www.flylady. net Click on FLYing lessons; scroll down to the section, As you make progress and you will see the last item; FlyLady's Crisis Cleaning. Print this out and follow it step by babystep.

2. Now with your home looking nice, you are freed up to think about the holidays, but you can't forget about keeping it picked up. There are lots of things that need to be done, so it is important that we not only make a few plans, but that we carry out those plans in babysteps. We all are good at making lists but we never really follow through with those ideas. We are going to help you with this. As part of your basic weekly plans we will integrate holiday missions. These are going to be fun. Kelly has a way of wording her Holiday Cruising Missions that they are not like work at all. You will be blessing your family with a happy person instead of a stressed out one.

3. We always spend way too much money on gifts and decorations. It is time we looked at this with a budget in mind. Now I am not going to get picky about every single penny you spend, but I don't want you dragging out those credit cards all the time for unplanned purchases and then having to pay the piper next year with huge interest and overwhelming guilt. A little thought and actual doing, you can have a stress free holiday and an even more peaceful new year without the debt.

4. None of us have enough time, yet we all have the same amount. Itis time that we quit whining about this and accept that we can't get it all done and just do what we can. Do you understand this? Life is too short to dwell on what doesn't get done. Celebrate what you do every day and start fresh each morning. Don't look back and jump in right where we are. This is going to be a lot of fun if you will quit feeling sorry for yourself and commit to doing one thing to get ready for the holidays each and every day.

5. The holidays are supposed to be a time to enjoy your family while setting up traditions that make you and your family happy. This is a tough one. Your traditions may not be fun anymore. You have always done the same thing and no one ever questioned it. If your traditions don't make you smile then it may be time for new ones. Who says you have to have a traditional holiday meal or get-together. The most important part is that each member of your immediate family feel loved. Have a family meeting to discuss your plans and ask for suggestions. I have always told my son and his wife that we can have our Christmas anytime. This it is not a requirement that I see him on December 25th. When he was a baby, we were expected to attend traditional celebrations at the Grandparents homes. We were blessed that we all lived in the same town, but two dinners 4 hours apart is too much. Make your decisions now and stick to them. Keep it fun for your family and most of all stress free for you. You know what we say, if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

6. Decorating can be stressful all by itself. The perfectionism in us wants to see it done all at once. Well sisters that is just too much for anyone. We can start small, by just putting out candles first, then do one small box at a time. After about 7 days you can have the whole house decorated for the holidays and it has been done 15 minutes at a time. Don't forget to be nice to yourself putting things away after the first of the year. BabySteps will get it decorated and undecorated; without the guilt. One member let the children put ornaments on the tree each evening. They would light a candle and just put one ornament each on the tree until it was decorated. They made a special occasion and had fun. Isn't that what the holidays are all about; Family time. You can do these things if you are not stressed out by the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and your home. This is why I want you to pretend that you are going on a Cruise December 1st until Christmas Eve. That way you can be free of the last minute torture and just sit back and have a good time with your family.

7. Everyone loves to make gifts for your friends as well as bake. Well if you have not thought about those homemade sewn gifts by now, let's face it, they are probably not going to be finished by the deadline. Right now you may be feeling a bit guilty. Well stop this. There are some simple little gifts that can be made that most everyone loves: Spice tea, my cafe' Mocha mix, cookies in a jar. You know them as well as I do. All you have to do is stir them up and put in a jar and put a bow on them; Simple, easy to do and fun for the family to help. Don't get caught up in trying to impress when it is going to put too much stress in your life. Now if you have been knitting all year or quilting then you have your projects well in hand. I am very proud of you, but for those of us that are not there yet, let it go and keep it simple. Some friends of mine like to have a cookie swap. Each person bakes their favorite holiday cookie recipe and puts them in containers to give away. Everyone at the party gets a variety of holiday cookies and you didn't have to fix them all yourself. Yippee! More fun and less work: That's for me! The good thing about cookie dough is that it can be frozen! Mix up several batches and roll them into balls or wax paper logs to be cut later; children love to help. Then you will have cookie dough ready for the baking without all the mess.

8. Menu planning and preparation can be hard on your budget, that iswhy it is a good idea to start buying now. You have six weeks before USA Thanksgiving to spread out your purchases; Buy a few items at atime and stock up. I like to keep hors d'oeuvres on hand for those impromptu parties we like to have. With our home in order we can pickup the phone and invite people over for an evening without having to run to the store. We keep several varieties of crackers and cheeses on hand, as well as cookies, fruit, and beverages. Sometimes it is just fun to treat my sweetie to an evening of candles and hors d'oeuvres when he comes home after a hard day at work. We all like to be treated like company. Before you start buying it is a good idea to plan your menu and make your grocery list so you can check the specials before you make your grocery run.

9. Now for the rest of the family's gifts. I am not a big fan of shopping and mall crowds, this is why I order many of our gifts and I shy away from clutter. I also try to shop at home as much as possible. We all need to limit our purchases to our list that we are going to make. Write down all the names of people you intend to buy for and set an amount and don't go over it. By starting now, you will have plenty of time to find an acceptable gift without maxing out your credit cards.

10. Another thing I absolutely despise is gift wrapping. I try to do as little as possible. In fact I am not fond of buying wrapping paper. Ribbons are another story. I love pretty ribbons. I have been known to wrap our gifts in brown paper bags from the grocery store and put pretty gold ribbons around them and use old greeting cards for gift tags. A few years ago I even wrapped them in unprinted newsprint paper and spray painted them gold. I guess I can be a cheapskate sometimes. When I buy gifts, I usually take the time to have them wrapped while I am there. That way I don't have to do it myself. Since I live in a small town they usually don't charge for it.

11. The hardest person to buy for in your home is YOU! Do you have any idea what you would like for a gift. Our spouses and our children cannot read our minds, it is up to you to give them a want list. Now is the time to start making your list and don't keep it a secret. We have our children do it, so why not try this. This doesn't mean you are going to get all you have asked for, but it will give your loved ones someplace to start.

I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came from using my routines to keep my home in order and a little planning ahead with 15 minutes of moving my Franny each day to accomplish what I have planned. You can have this peace too, if you will adjust your attitude toward the holidays and take care of yourself.

Are you ready to Cruise through the holidays too?

FlyLady