Money is not for Spending

This is a great essay from Mary Hunt. If you have a spending problem (and I know some of you do), you really want to print this one out and tape it to your mirror or something. I think it's some very powerful information that might really help you to change your ways.

Money is Not for Spending

It took me a long time to fully understand that money is for managing first and then for spending. It takes courage to believe that, but when you do it will profoundly change the way you think about and manage your money.

Imagine this: It's Friday, a day you have come to know and love as cake day. You want cake, you love cake and doggone it, you deserve to eat cake. You stop at the store and pick up the ingredients necessary to bake a cake. But even before you can get home, you begin eating the ingredients because you are so hungry for cake you simply cannot help yourself. You gulp a couple of eggs; chew up some butter and sugar; and down a load of flour and cocoa. You pull into the driveway completely disgusted with yourself. You try to hide the evidence but it's all over your face. The worst part: Eating the cake was not nearly as satisfying as you'd dreamed. It was anything but enjoyable. The ingredients for your chocolate cake are gone and now you feel ashamed and embarrassed.

An absurd analogy for sure, illustrating the foolishness of eating food that has not yet been prepared. The very same ingredients that made you sick could have become a culinary masterpiece had you exposed them to a recipe. Those ingredients were not for eating; they were for preparing first and then for eating.

It is equally foolish and unsatisfying to spend money that has not first been managed. To manage money means to take full possession of it, to subject it to a specific plan and direct it accordingly. It is a matter of creating a season of ownership between receiving and dispersing.

Managing money is a learned discipline, a gratifying process. When money flows into your life, you are responsible for where it goes and how it performs. You are the boss. You can watch it drift out of your control or you can manage it according to a formula that you have developed.

It doesn't matter if you are a single parent struggling to survive with no outside help or the CEO of a prosperous business. You need to know ahead of time exactly how you will manage your money.

There are certain mandatory elements that must be part of your management system, like giving and saving. When you bring reason to the management of your income, feelings of dissatisfaction, worry and hopelessness will quiet down. You will be driven to plug the money leaks in your life. A commitment to spending no more than you earn will become so important, you'll find yourself keeping track of where the money goes.

No matter your situation--single, married, old, young, whether you're deeply in debt, unemployed or at the top of your career--you need a system through which to process every dime that enters your life. Only then will you fully understand why money is not for spending. It is for managing first, and then for spending.

Declaring Laundry Bankruptcy

I came across this term in an old post on Unclutterer. I think this is such a great concept. Every once in a while, we just get too far behind to catch up. Their suggestion was to pack it all up and take it to the local Fluff & Fold. Even if it costs you a few extra bucks, wouldn't it be great to get caught up once and for all so you can start fresh? And besides, they FLUFF and FOLD it for you, what could be better than that?

Another idea would be to take it all to a self-serve laundromat and stake out a whole bank of washers and dryers. You'd be done in just a couple of hours and the kids would probably think it's a great adventure.

Here's my secret for climbing Mt. Washmore - when I get too overwhelmed with laundry, I do it production-line style. I sort it all into baskets and then I set a timer and put a fresh load in every 40 minutes. Then I sit and watch TV while I fold it. Then I just give everyone their own basket and tell them no one eats until they put it all away! I can usually get caught up in one evening, or one weekend morning.

Empowering your Kids

Laura over at Organizing Junkie had a great article, one that really impressed me. It's all about organizing your kids rooms, but it has to do with involving your kids in the process rather than dictating to them or imposing your organization on them. Click HERE to pop over and read it.

Running Your Own Thrift Store?

Do you know what most people's reason for not wanting to get rid of stuff is? They are afraid they won't be able to replace their things in case they change their mind! I mean come on people, this is 2009 and you live in the United States. Unless your item is very rare or very personal, you should be able to replace it very easily.

I mean, look around any thrift store. It is packed to the gills with stuff exactly like your stuff. If you're hanging onto stuff like that, you're basically running your own thrift store, and who wants to live at Goodwill? Plus there's Ebay, Amazon, Craigslist, and a dozen other websites where people sell all kinds of stuff - collectibles, books, movies, CD's, clothes, you name it. So, what are you so worried about. Let your stuff go, free it into the wild. If it was really meant to be yours, it will find it's way back to you - honest.

I've decluttered many hundreds of items over the years, clothes, books, kids toys, purses, shoes, etc. I can only think of one thing I was every sorry I got rid of and that was a book. When I noticed that I had missed it and decided to replace it, it took me 5 minutes and about $8 to replace it on Amazon.com. That $8 was well worth the dozens of other books and other things that I was able to part with and clear out of my life. And you can "visit" your stuff at the Goodwill any day of the week for free!

However, once you've decluttered something, you are very unlikely to remember it. Like I said, I have decluttered probably a thousand pounds worth of stuff in all these years and I probably couldn't name 10 of the things I've given away. Seriously. Try it and you'll see.

That "Clean For Company" Feeling

Have you noticed that you look at your house totally differently when you know company is coming over?  All of a sudden you start noticing little pockets of clutter and little bits of dirt and dust that you hadn't noticed before.  This gives you a great burst of energy and motivation to clean up what had seemed perfectly fine 5 minutes ago. 

It is a natural bit of pride to want your home to look nice and tidy for upcoming company.  We all want guests to "ooo" and "ahh" and tell us how nice our home looks.  There's nothing wrong with this and in fact, I will use it to my advantage sometimes.  If I'm having a difficult time maintaining my routines and keeping my house clean, I'll use any excuse to invite some friends over.  First of all, I love to have company and it gives me a chance to entertain, which I love, but also it forces me to get busy and tidy up. 

However, you have to think about what message you're sending to yourself and your children.  You are telling them that it's more important to present a good face to others than to make the house nice for your own family.  That would be brought home to me when I would start my regular Saturday morning cleaning and the kids would ask me who was coming over.  I hated the fact that they associated cleaning with company and not with us doing something nice for our own family. 

So why not treat your family as company?  Why not bring out the special tablecloths and dishes once in a while and make as nice a meal as you would for guests?  Why not make an appointment with yourself to take a quick tour every few days and look around your house with "company eyes" and notice the areas that need a little extra attention.  Your family will love it and start feeling extra special themselves and you'll likely catch them making their own efforts to pick up after themselves. 

Emptying the "Empty Nest"

I don't know how many of you have grown kids as I do, but once your kids are actually out of the house, it's surprising how much "stuff" they think they are entitled to leave behind. It's stuff that they don't really need and don't actually plan to use, but Lord help you if you try to get rid of it.

Do you really want to be storing that stuff clear into your retirement? It's really just clutter, taking up space that you could use for more useful items.

If you really want to get rid of it, you need to have a plan. If your kids are flaky like mine, just asking them to come and get it isn't really going to work. Going through boxes of old junk, even their own, isn't going to be their idea of fun and it's not going to be high on their list of priorities.

One thing to do is to set a firm date. Give them a good month or so to get around to it, but then let them know that after that date, the free storage deal is going to be over. Then give them a head start on the project. Go through the stuff and start sorting it into some general piles - clothes, books, papers, school projects, etc.

Get out your digital pictures and document as you go. You can easily post the pictures to a Flickr account and share it with your child. That way, they can see exactly what they are dealing with and that is likely to give them a little motivation to save some of the things that are more important to them. If nothing else, you can have them tag the pictures of the things they want and the things you can get rid of.

Then just box it up and leave it for them to come and get it. And enjoy your now uncluttered space. Just try not to fill it up with all of your old, unneeded junk.

Easy Daily Clutter Tip

Sometimes I think one of the biggest challenges in keeping a nice house is to deal with the daily clutter of dishes, mail, shoes, newspapers, backpacks, etc. If you can just get this one habit until control, you would be so surprised at what a difference it would make in your home!

One simple thing you can do is to just get in the habit of taking a few things with you every time you leave a room. It would literally take a matter of seconds to pick up a couple of glasses or dishes when you're heading for the kitchen, a pair of shoes or a coat when you're headed for the bedroom - how easy is that?

Eliminating the clutter in this way will make your room look so much cleaner and will make it so much easier to keep a room looking nice. You've gotten to the point where you don't even notice the clutter. Once you remove the constant clutter from a room, you'll notice even one thing out of place. It's like the peace and quiet of the country after a few weeks of being in the noise and bustle of the city. It's really refreshing.

The trick is to remember is. You know the old saying that it takes 28 days to build a habit. I don't know if that's true or not, but building new habits is definitely a big challenge for me. However, there are some little tricks you can use to help get yourself into a new habit. Here are some ideas:

- Put a rubber band around your wrist or a brightly colored bracelet.
- Reward yourself. If you do better with the habit than you did the day before, reward yourself with a little extra TV time or a special coffee or some other small, easily repeatable reward.
- Stick up post-it notes everywhere to encourage yourself.
- Engage your kids or your husband. Have them levy .25 cent fines on you when you forget.
- Try the don't "break the chain" technique. Get a calendar and some fun stickers. You get a sticker for each day you remember your habit. When you get a chain of 3 or 4 days, plan a special treat for yourself and then you won't want to break the chain.