This is an article that floated into my E-mail today and I thought I'd share it with you. I think this ties in very nicely with our concept of "baby steps". If you get a minute, check out Carrie's website. I've been reading her stuff for a year or so and she's got some great ideas!
Yes You Can!
(c) 2008 Carrie Wilkerson
Our team has been busy, busy as usual - but one of us has been especially busy. LauraLee, our 11-month old, has been really focusing on her walking! She will be 1 in a few weeks (where has the last year gone?) and she decided about 6 weeks ago that walking looked like something she wanted to figure out! This is my 4th walker and so I've not been rushing her, but I have been intently watching the process.
She's wobbly. She falls a lot. She sometimes needs a hand to hold, sometimes just a pinkie or finger for confidence. She prefers to walk towards someone who is reaching out their arms for her. She's bumped and scraped from obstacles. When she hits her head (or any other body part) it doesn't seem to hurt as much as normal because she's so focused on her destination. But, most importantly, she keeps getting up and trying again.
Things I've noticed about those of us around her. We clap when she takes steps (even if it's just one or two). We reach out to help her up when she topples. We praise her and cheer for her (yes, even if she falls flat). We hold our arms out for her so she knows where she can fall safely. We tell everyone about her successes. We dwell on the steps, not the tumbles. And most importantly, we encourage her to get up and try again.
Not ONCE have I heard anyone say, "well, you've fallen - this walking stuff might not be for you. You should stick to crawling."
"I know someone that tried that and still can't walk, just save yourself the trouble."
"Wow, that sure is taking you a long time to figure out. Your sister walked a lot faster than you did."
"You know you're not supposed to walk yet. This is too early. Sit back down and let us carry you for awhile."
"Why would you want to bother with that when you're already so good at crawling?"
"Don't, Don't, Don't - you know you always fall when you do that!"
Interesting, isn't it?? There are SO MANY parallels in this lesson that I hardly know where to begin! Are you surrounding your family, friends, and business associates with encouragement, praise, and positive words? Are you telling them why they CAN succeed instead of why they cannot?
And just as important - are you surrounding YOURSELF with others that encourage YOU in that same way? LauraLee knows she is in a safe place, surrounded by people who love her and want her to be the best baby she can be! We want her to learn new things, to progress in her 'walk,' her journey. I want to be one of those people for YOU! And in the meantime, will you choose someone today that might need your arms reached out? They might need a finger to hold (or just the end of your pinkie)? Is there someone that needs you clapping for them? Find them today. Help them in their walk.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR "The Barefoot Executive" Carrie educates, coaches and advises work-at-home women (and those who want to be) as they achieve their goals of personal & career fulfillment! Carrie and her husband, "Mr. Barefoot" - work together at home and share the joy of raising their 4 children (infant to 12 years) together. For a free motivational audio and transcript...go to www.The-Barefoot-Executive.com
9/5/08
Surviving the Nasty Viruses that Attack Time and Productivity
This is a post I found in my inbox today. It is slanted more towards the business world, but I think it's advice that would be helpful in building our home routines.
Surviving the Nasty Viruses that Attack Time and Productivity
By Dru Scott
The corridor of the convention center was crowded after my speech, when a man stepped directly in front of me, stopped, and asked the question I am frequently asked, "Why did you become an expert on simplicity?" We laughed together when I answered with one word, "desperation."
Some time ago I notice that for me to be as orderly as I wanted to be, I needed to concentrate. It wasn't something that came naturally. I also realized that for me to be as successful in the marketplace as I wanted to be, I had to simplify. So I became a lifetime student of simplicity. And one of the keys to success is to simplify your life.
But how do we simplify? The key is to clarify your thinking. When you are thinking at your best, you automatically discover how to gain the simplicity you want. The sharper you keep your thinking, the easier it is to simplify. And there are two powerful ways to sharpen your thinking. Keep your mind sharp defensively by using the techniques that clean out the five viruses that limit thinking power. And keep your mind sharp offensively by reading inspirational material or what I call "wisdom quotes.' They're great for the mind.
The psychological theory behind the five major types of compulsive behavior was developed for therapeutic applications by Tabby Koehler, a brilliant psychologist in Little Rock, Arkansas. Dr. Koehler found, and I have also observed, many people operate in limited modes of thinking, 50 percent to 90 percent of the time. When people are functioning in these modes, they do not think well. It's like a brain virus.
When you're pressured, you're more likely to fall back into these limited or compulsive ways of problem solving and operating. Dr. Koehler chose the following highly descriptive titles for each of these five types: Hurry up. Be perfect. Please. Try hard. And, be strong. Although most of us operate in each of the five at some time, most of us engage in two more frequently. As I describe all five viruses and the reinforcements that reduce each one, be thinking which ones relate to you the most closely. You'll probably identify with one or two of the viruses. If you don't recognize the ones you slip into, just ask the people around you. They will be able to give you some good ideas. And also be thinking which two or three reinforcements will benefit you the most.
The first virus is "hurry up." People who operate with a "hurry up" virus constantly rush. Sometimes it's necessary; sometimes it's not. They rush to meet deadlines; they talk fast; they finish your sentences. They may ask two or three or four questions before you have time to answer one. They feel their schedule's so full they are rushing all the time to meet their commitments.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "hurry up" virus: I do first things first. I know where my time goes. I track how long I spend on tasks. I set mini-deadlines rather than only one big final deadline. I plan how to get to appointments early.
The second virus is "be perfect." People who engage in the "be perfect" virus waste valuable time on trivial or marginal matters because they feel they must perform every task perfectly. "Be perfects" also have difficulty admitting a mistake, and they waste time defending it or trying to cover it up. They document explanations for the mistake rather than admitting it, correcting the error, and moving ahead.
In their personal lives, people operating from a "be perfect" seek perfect relationships. They spend considerable time searching for the ideal man or the ideal woman; however, at the first sign of clay feet on their latest idol, they leave. They feel compelled to find someone else. Since ideal men and women are rare, if not impossible, to find, their search is never-ending.
People playing "be perfect" roles often postpone completion of a project because of their compulsion to do everything perfectly. Scientists and engineers often exhibit this behavior. They may work on a project for six months and compile enough data to produce 90 percent of their findings, but they'll feel compelled to spend another 18 months perfecting that last 10 percent.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "be perfect" virus: Every day I have fun, deliberately doing something imperfectly. I skip the perfectionism on things that don't contribute to my objectives or yours. I am willing to learn from people, even those who are not perfect. I listen. Rather than waste time searching for something, I find an alternate, a plan B.
The third virus is "please." Do you often say yes when you want to say no? If so, you've probably caught the "please" virus. "Please" types often have the best intentions in the world. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. They hate to give bad news. They want to avoid damaging anyone's morale. Therefore, "please" types frequently don't say no often enough, and they overcommit themselves. They say yes to so many people that they are not able to deliver all they promise. They wind up disappointing others and hurting themselves.
The "please" types also expect others to please them without asking for what they want. They have unfounded faith in hinting. And they say, "He should know what I want. I shouldn't have to tell him."
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "please" virus. I ask directly for what I want. I smile and tell people I need to check my calendar before I can give them a good answer. I practice saying yes to the person and no to the request. Every day I make sure I have five or six things written on my calendar that I am going to accomplish. Every day I do something toward what I most want to accomplish.
The fourth virus is the "try hard." People who function from the "try hard" virus get the Saint Bernard award. Give them something that needs trekking through the snow and persisting, and they will do it. Too often, however, they trek through the snow when they don't need to. They often do a lot of sighing. They often talk about how hard they have worked. They often have two vertical lines etched deeply between their eyebrows. Look into their early childhood programming and you'll usually find a parent who constantly reminded, "Well, at least you tried. That's what counts."
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the “try hard” virus: I keep myself focused on results by mentally picturing the successful outcome I’m working toward. I spend time planning and making sure I am working on the right things. I find a measure of success to work toward. I find ways to simplify every day. I get closure.
The “be strong” types are often regarded as insensitive and unfeeling. They don’t believe on relying on others for help. They often don’t delegate well. They avoid any situation in which they might appear weak, even if it is something as simple as asking for directions after they have driven around lost for 45 minutes. “Be strongs” accomplish a lot, but they often pay the price. They waste a lot of their time and that of others because they don’t ask for help even when it’s appropriate to do so.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the “be strong” virus: I am happy to ask for help. I pay attention to my feelings. I pay attention to the feelings of others. I give myself appropriate rewards. I give myself total time in for production and total time out for rest and recreation.
Now that you’ve heard about the five viruses that limit thinking power and the ability to simplify, ask yourself, which of these viruses relate to you? In fact, you may want to turn off this program for a minute and recall the names of all five viruses. If you have trouble remembering a couple of them, those are usually the ones you are in at this moment. Go ahead and use this experiment as a good indicator, but your knowledge of your behavior and the input from the people around you are actually the best ways to determine viruses to which you are most susceptible.
Surviving the Nasty Viruses that Attack Time and Productivity
By Dru Scott
The corridor of the convention center was crowded after my speech, when a man stepped directly in front of me, stopped, and asked the question I am frequently asked, "Why did you become an expert on simplicity?" We laughed together when I answered with one word, "desperation."
Some time ago I notice that for me to be as orderly as I wanted to be, I needed to concentrate. It wasn't something that came naturally. I also realized that for me to be as successful in the marketplace as I wanted to be, I had to simplify. So I became a lifetime student of simplicity. And one of the keys to success is to simplify your life.
But how do we simplify? The key is to clarify your thinking. When you are thinking at your best, you automatically discover how to gain the simplicity you want. The sharper you keep your thinking, the easier it is to simplify. And there are two powerful ways to sharpen your thinking. Keep your mind sharp defensively by using the techniques that clean out the five viruses that limit thinking power. And keep your mind sharp offensively by reading inspirational material or what I call "wisdom quotes.' They're great for the mind.
The psychological theory behind the five major types of compulsive behavior was developed for therapeutic applications by Tabby Koehler, a brilliant psychologist in Little Rock, Arkansas. Dr. Koehler found, and I have also observed, many people operate in limited modes of thinking, 50 percent to 90 percent of the time. When people are functioning in these modes, they do not think well. It's like a brain virus.
When you're pressured, you're more likely to fall back into these limited or compulsive ways of problem solving and operating. Dr. Koehler chose the following highly descriptive titles for each of these five types: Hurry up. Be perfect. Please. Try hard. And, be strong. Although most of us operate in each of the five at some time, most of us engage in two more frequently. As I describe all five viruses and the reinforcements that reduce each one, be thinking which ones relate to you the most closely. You'll probably identify with one or two of the viruses. If you don't recognize the ones you slip into, just ask the people around you. They will be able to give you some good ideas. And also be thinking which two or three reinforcements will benefit you the most.
The first virus is "hurry up." People who operate with a "hurry up" virus constantly rush. Sometimes it's necessary; sometimes it's not. They rush to meet deadlines; they talk fast; they finish your sentences. They may ask two or three or four questions before you have time to answer one. They feel their schedule's so full they are rushing all the time to meet their commitments.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "hurry up" virus: I do first things first. I know where my time goes. I track how long I spend on tasks. I set mini-deadlines rather than only one big final deadline. I plan how to get to appointments early.
The second virus is "be perfect." People who engage in the "be perfect" virus waste valuable time on trivial or marginal matters because they feel they must perform every task perfectly. "Be perfects" also have difficulty admitting a mistake, and they waste time defending it or trying to cover it up. They document explanations for the mistake rather than admitting it, correcting the error, and moving ahead.
In their personal lives, people operating from a "be perfect" seek perfect relationships. They spend considerable time searching for the ideal man or the ideal woman; however, at the first sign of clay feet on their latest idol, they leave. They feel compelled to find someone else. Since ideal men and women are rare, if not impossible, to find, their search is never-ending.
People playing "be perfect" roles often postpone completion of a project because of their compulsion to do everything perfectly. Scientists and engineers often exhibit this behavior. They may work on a project for six months and compile enough data to produce 90 percent of their findings, but they'll feel compelled to spend another 18 months perfecting that last 10 percent.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "be perfect" virus: Every day I have fun, deliberately doing something imperfectly. I skip the perfectionism on things that don't contribute to my objectives or yours. I am willing to learn from people, even those who are not perfect. I listen. Rather than waste time searching for something, I find an alternate, a plan B.
The third virus is "please." Do you often say yes when you want to say no? If so, you've probably caught the "please" virus. "Please" types often have the best intentions in the world. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. They hate to give bad news. They want to avoid damaging anyone's morale. Therefore, "please" types frequently don't say no often enough, and they overcommit themselves. They say yes to so many people that they are not able to deliver all they promise. They wind up disappointing others and hurting themselves.
The "please" types also expect others to please them without asking for what they want. They have unfounded faith in hinting. And they say, "He should know what I want. I shouldn't have to tell him."
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the "please" virus. I ask directly for what I want. I smile and tell people I need to check my calendar before I can give them a good answer. I practice saying yes to the person and no to the request. Every day I make sure I have five or six things written on my calendar that I am going to accomplish. Every day I do something toward what I most want to accomplish.
The fourth virus is the "try hard." People who function from the "try hard" virus get the Saint Bernard award. Give them something that needs trekking through the snow and persisting, and they will do it. Too often, however, they trek through the snow when they don't need to. They often do a lot of sighing. They often talk about how hard they have worked. They often have two vertical lines etched deeply between their eyebrows. Look into their early childhood programming and you'll usually find a parent who constantly reminded, "Well, at least you tried. That's what counts."
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the “try hard” virus: I keep myself focused on results by mentally picturing the successful outcome I’m working toward. I spend time planning and making sure I am working on the right things. I find a measure of success to work toward. I find ways to simplify every day. I get closure.
The fifth virus is the “be strong.” Traditional time techniques often work for the “be strong” mode. These methods emphasize discipline and unemotional evaluation. That’s meat and drink for the “be strongs.” The number one tool in their tool kit is more self-discipline. In fact, sometimes it’s the only tool. The person who’s a “be strong” and also has the first virus, thrives on traditional time books and programs.
The “be strong” types are often regarded as insensitive and unfeeling. They don’t believe on relying on others for help. They often don’t delegate well. They avoid any situation in which they might appear weak, even if it is something as simple as asking for directions after they have driven around lost for 45 minutes. “Be strongs” accomplish a lot, but they often pay the price. They waste a lot of their time and that of others because they don’t ask for help even when it’s appropriate to do so.
Here are some reinforcements to reduce the “be strong” virus: I am happy to ask for help. I pay attention to my feelings. I pay attention to the feelings of others. I give myself appropriate rewards. I give myself total time in for production and total time out for rest and recreation.
Now that you’ve heard about the five viruses that limit thinking power and the ability to simplify, ask yourself, which of these viruses relate to you? In fact, you may want to turn off this program for a minute and recall the names of all five viruses. If you have trouble remembering a couple of them, those are usually the ones you are in at this moment. Go ahead and use this experiment as a good indicator, but your knowledge of your behavior and the input from the people around you are actually the best ways to determine viruses to which you are most susceptible.
9/1/08
Getting your Family to Help
I thought I'd share this with you. I recently experienced a similar situation when I was at the Stampin' Up! Convention for four days and came home to a house that looked like a bomb went off. I took it pretty well. I didn't kick and fuss about it and I just pitched in and cleaned it up. But it would have been nice if they'd taken a little more effort to have kept the house clean because I was exhausted after four days of 12 hour days. But next time I guess I need to be more explicit about what my expectations are and we'll see if it goes better. It does really illustrate how our routines keep us from drifting into chaos and how quickly things can fall apart.
Dear FlyLady,
I came home from a 4 day event last night to a home that looked as if a bomb had gone off in it, this is the absolute worst my house has ever looked, even pre flylady. I wanted to scream and rant and rave at the people whom I had left at home, but I took a deep breath and walked in. I had left my husband and 2 young adults here in my home, of course expecting that they would make some effort to keep picked up after themselves, but sadly that is not what happened. I put away my gear and started laundry, carried out a bag of trash and put the baby to bed, then went to bed myself, yes it was difficult to not just plunge in and begin to marathon clean, but I knew that if I did that I would be to tired to function today and so I forced myself to ignore the filth and go to bed.
This morning I got up, was again shocked by how destroyed my home was and then set about my game plan. I wanted to yell and snarl about how 3 supposed adults could make such a mess and demand that they help clean up the mess, but then I thought for a few seconds and realized that this was the man I love and my child and his spouse and that all I would do by screaming at them was make them feel useless and resentful, so I kept my mouth shut. After everyone left for work I took a shower and put on my work clothes, all the time reminding myself that I was blessed to have a home that they could mess up and to have food for them to have left dirty dishes laying everywhere. I started a load of laundry, ran a sink of very hot water and put some dishes in to soak and popped the baby (2 years old) into the tub.
While the baby splashed and played I cleaned up the bathroom, putting laundry in the hamper and trash in the can and just generally reclaiming the room. She was laughing and playing, having absolutely no idea that anything was not right in our home. I talked to her and we sang a baby song and I finished the main part of the bathroom in less time than her bath took, cleaning the tub, sink and toilet will wait until her nap. Back to the kitchen where I stacked dishes and gathered up garbage for a few more minutes, it is going to take all day to reclaim my house, but I am not pushing to do it in a marathon, I am doing 10 - 15 minutes in each room with a bit of a break every hour, I have a pot of tea on the stove and dinner will be in the crockpot in short order.
By the time my husband gets home from work he will have a cleaner and nicer place to come into. I will not be screaming like a shrew and the baby will not be upset because we had a bad day. This is not how I planned to spend the holiday, but it is not a big crisis because you have taught me how to take a deep breath and see the blessing in every mess that my family makes. I have faith that one day I will come home from a weekend activity and find my home in some semblance of order because sooner or later it will seep into their minds that it is better to pick up the bits instead of letting it grow to a disaster.
Thank you for helping me see that when I am gentler with my family that we are all better able to cope, pre flylady I would have screamed and yelled at everyone, we would have been angry and resentful with each other for days afterward and I would still have had to clean the mess up. I would not have gotten any rest and I would have made everyone pay for all the work that I had to do with cutting remarks and dirty looks. My family does not know that you have helped them have a nicer mother and wife, but they enjoy her much more.
I am off to pick up toys and get the baby settled for her nap now and then back to the cleaning with my list of blessings running through my mind. Perhaps tonight I will tell my husband how blessed I feel to have him in my life, I do not do it nearly often enough.
Blessed Be,
Flybaby in Wyoming
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by themoments that take our breath away!
FlyLady here: I am very proud of her for not becoming the martyr and blowing up. She showed her children and husband that she can remain calm and get things done. Keep in mind that your family cannot read your mind and they are as much a Sidetracked person as you are. They just don't have the tools yet. She could have asked them but that was not in her testimonial. I have an idea on how for this not to happen to any of you and I am going to use this incident as an example. It is time that she sat her family down at a meeting and told them how sad she was when she came home to find the house destroyed. It is always more fun to have a discussing in the past tense.
This is not being a martyr this is standing up for yourself. You do this in a calm fashion with your simple Control Journal in your hand.
Having your Control Journal on the counter also helps your family see exactly what you do each day. This really does help to give them some idea of what to do while you are away. BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM! YOUCAN'T KEEP FLYLADY A SECRET. If your family does not see you using it; then they won't know how to use it to keep the house from falling apart. After all they are sidetracked too. They don't know where to start either. You could also tell them about our timer and some of our little sayings and routines: You can do anything for 15 minutes, 27 Fling Boogies, Crisis Cleaning 101 and Keeping your kitchen sink clean and shiny. Next time you have to leave for four days ask your family for their assistance in keeping the house in order. They may not do it but they could do crisis cleaning just before you get home. Either way you have made a request and have given them to tools to accomplish this. After all if you don't ask then it is certain that they will not keep the house clean.
8/27/08
Ship Shape Dollars
This is a little essay from my on-line financial advisor Chellie Campbell. I think it ties in nicely with my advice about giving yourself frequent rewards.
“Money won’t make you happy…but everybody wants to find out for themselves.”—Zig Ziglar
My friend, Korey, and I went on a cruise. We worried about gaining weight, since there was so much scrumptious, abundant food supply on board that we couldn’t believe it. There were about twelve meals per day: Pre-breakfast snack, breakfast, after breakfast snack, mid-morning snack, pre-lunch snack, lunch, after lunch snack, afternoon tea, cocktail hors d’oeuvres, dinner, mid-evening snack…by the time the midnight buffet arrived, I couldn’t get so much as another cracker in my mouth!
We decided that we would counter all the food by exercising: Always using the stairs instead of the elevator, making sure to do a lot of walking, dancing in the disco, and going to aerobics class every morning.
We showed up for aerobics class the first morning bright and early. There was a good crowd at the class and the instructor, Debbie, was energetic and upbeat, so a good time was had by all. Debbie was dressed in a cute yellow Royal Caribbean T-shirt and matching visor. At the end of the hour, she gave each one of us a yellow “Ship Shape” dollar and told us that we would get one at the end of each exercise program on the ship. If we collected ten “Ship Shape” dollars, we could redeem them for a yellow T-shirt and visor just like hers. Everyone’s eyes lit up. A free prize? Cool!
You might guess that, as the week wore on, and we partied and danced ‘til the wee hours of the morning, it became increasingly difficult to get up at 7:00 A.M. to go to aerobics class. The wake up call would ring in our rooms, shattering our slothful sleep, and we would groan in chorus. I would say, “I don’t want to get up and go to aerobics this morning, do you?” Korey would say, “No…but I only have five ‘Ship Shape’ dollars. How many have you got?” “I’ve only got four—how did you get five?” “Oh, they gave me one for shuffle board yesterday.” “That’s cheating!” “No, it isn’t, it was exercise!” “Well,” I said, “I’ve got to get up and go to class so I can catch up.”
And we’d both get up and drag our tired bodies to aerobics class.
There were a lot of tired bodies there! But I noticed everyone telling versions of our story: “Well, I was really tired and didn’t want to come today, but I only have six dollars and I need four more to get my T-shirt,” or “I wanted to sleep in, but I need three more dollars!”
It was amazing how people were plugged into this competition for a T-shirt while on this cruise that cost $800 (they could definitely afford to buy themselves a T-shirt if they wanted one).
The lessons of the “Ship Shape” dollars are: 1) Rewards and prizes are fun. 2) People will work hard to get their prizes, no matter what they are. 3) The actual value of the prize doesn’t matter. 4) Therefore, pick prizes to reward yourself when you accomplish your goals!
Today’s Affirmation: “I accept rich rewards—and I deserve them!”
Some Advice from Ben Franklin
I ran across this today and I thought you'd be interested. Even though this is some 200 years out of date and the language is a bit old-fashioned, it's pretty good advice for today:
1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
12. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
12. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
8/23/08
Flylady sayings to help you
Here are some of Flylady's most popular sayings. I can hear these sayings going through my head sometimes and I find them helpful, so I wanted to share them with you:
These run through my head many times a day now after years of Fly-washing. You've changed my attitude in so many areas where keeping house is concerned! Thank you so much! :D (Listed in noparticular order, because they're all great.)
1. Do It Now, Girl! (DING)
2. You don't have to clean like your mother did.
3. Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family!
4. You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to just in where we are, OK?
5. Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps!6. Your home didn't get messy overnight, and it won't get clean in a day.
7. You can do anything for 15 minutes!
8. Use a timer and make it fun!
9. FLY = Finally Loving Yourself
10. It takes 21 days to form a habit, but for SHE's, it takes a month.That last one has actually helped me to be patient with myself and to keep sticking with the monthly habits that are sent out, because I'm mentally prepared for it to take a bit longer - but I know I can still do it! :D
Thank you for helping me to realize that even though I thought I was loving myself, I really wasn't. I'd spend too much time "doing nothing" (on the computer or whatever), thinking that was "treating myself", and not enough time loving myself enough to keep my environment peaceful. Now that my environment is gaining more and more peace each day, I realize that loving myself is looking completely different from what it used to - and it's waaaay better!
Blessings to you all,
FLYbaby in Prince George, BC, Canada
Dinner Party for 10
I had a dinner party tonight for ten people - yikes! I'd love to tell you that my house was so wonderful and spotless that I didn't have to do a thing to it, but unfortunately, that's so not the case. I did have to do some cleaning, quite a bit of it actually, but less than I would have in previous years. Back when I lived in California, it would easily have taken me three days to get ready for an event like this.
The nice thing was that I didn't have any big piles of clutter to deal with. I had a few midly cluttered areas to deal with, mostly my desk and our TV room, but mostly it was more about "scrubbing" type cleaning - sweeping, mopping, dusting, vaccuming, and scrubbing all the counters, etc. I think that's why it took so much time.
This group is a supper club group from my church. We take turns every month or so hosting dinners at each family's house. They are all dear friends, but I have to say that they really activate my home insecurities more than most of my guests. I've been to each of their houses and they are not only nicer than mine ($$$), but they are all beautifully decorated and always spotlessly clean. They always seem to pull off their turn at hosting so effortlessly. Their meals always come together so nicely (I forgot the vegetables in the microwave), they always have plenty of plates and silverware (I had to wash forks because we ran out) and everything always goes so smoothly (there was a plate in the stack with old dried food on it that the dishwasher missed - yuck!). Plus it makes me feel a little strange because my husband does most of the cooking. That's just the way we roll and he's a much better cook than I am, but I wonder what they must think of me.
I'm not sure what the lesson is here, but I guess it's just a glimpse that I am far from perfect and that I'm still on my journey too. It was kind of a flashback for me. This is probably the first time in a year or so that I've had to do the all-day crisis clean thing and I had forgotten how much I hated it. I spent a lot of time running around yelling at my family and we didn't get to do anything fun today, despite the fact that we all had a rare day off and it is the last official day of summer for my younger son. It would have been nice to have done something fun today instead of just working all day.
I think if I could go back, I'd do things a little differently. I'd have been a little more diligent in my 15 minute cleanups this week (a little too much Olympic time was a big distraction!), I would have done my Weekly Home Blessing last week and not had so much dirt to deal with this week. I would have focused my attention a little bit better by using my timer more to manage my time and been able to allow some time for something fun in the afternoon. I did use my timer a little, but not as much as I should. Usually when I'm cleaning, I take my timer and spend 10 or 15 minutes in each room and then come back for another round if time allows.
We are having another party on Sunday. We are having another family from church over for lunch after church. That's a good tip on managing your entertainment obligations. Once you get your house all cleaned up, get some extra use out of it by planning two events back-to-back. All I have to do is run the dishes through the dish washer, tidy up a few things here and there and help my husband put together another meal.
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