Inspiration for the Day

This tidbit comes to us from Ralph Marsden who runs a site called the Daily Motivator. He has a ton of these little essays on there and for a small fee, you can have them sent directly to your mailbox every morning. What a great way to start your day!

Always something

There is always something positive that you can do. On the best of days, or in the most challenging of circumstances, you can choose to move forward.

Conditions are not as bad as they seem, nor are conditions as good as they appear. Conditions are whatever you choose to make of them.

It's up to you to take the energy of this day and give it a specific direction. Though circumstances are constantly changing, you can always choose to move in the direction of your dreams.

Of course there are complications, challenges and obstacles. And you can use them all to create your own path forward.

You are in control of your thoughts and actions. That's a powerful place from which to operate, no matter what the outside circumstances may be.

There is always something positive, productive, enriching and fulfilling that you can do. Get up, get going, and make a difference in your own special way.

-- Ralph Marston

Good tip for kid's rooms

Here's a great tip from Pam of the Bratfactory.com on helping kids clean their rooms. I've tried lots of strategies, but I've never tried this one. I think it's great. You could post the pictures on the wall or the book case or whatever so they can see in a glance exactly what it's supposed to look like:

I use my camera after I clean (my boys' room) so that they can see how it is suppose to look after they clean it. It works, they try to match it toy for toy, shelf for shelf and even under the bed. They love having an example to guide them. Kim Galvan

Depression

Here's an essay Flylady posted a while back about Depression. She reposts it from time-to-time because a lot of people who have problems like ours are also suffering from depression.

Here is an essay I wrote about my depression.

Dear Friends,

Many years ago when I was going though a rough time in my life; my step-father had died, my marriage was falling apart, I had lost a job because my boss had died and the list could go on for a while of all the changes that were taking place in my life. I was tired and my fatigue level kept dropping and I didn't even realize what was happening. It took a friend to see that I was depressed and needed some help. Change is difficult at best for most people, but when we get double and triple whammied we can have a hard time. For instance we have a baby. That has its own difficulties with baby blues and post partum depression. Then bringing a new baby home and the stress related to changing your routine to nurture this young life and yourself. A lot of the times you get left out.

When my friend noticed the changes in me over a few months she got me an appointment with her psychologist in Memphis. She asked me to go with her to this appointment. She failed to tell me it was for me. I pulled myself together and we drove two hours. When we got there she informed me that the appointment was for me because I had not been myself for many months. When I look back at myself; I see me sitting for hours and not moving just sitting. I was not taking care of myself. I was barely eating.

After talking with the therapist it was suggest that I check myself into the hospital. I couldn't do that at the time. We drove home. I told my son's father (I will not call him a husband) that they wanted me to get some treatment. He said, "If you check yourself into the loony bin then don't bother coming home!" I look back and think how could someone be that inconsiderate but I am thankful for his attitude today. Because it was those words that pushed me to get help.

They made me mad and my anger helped me to feel something! I packed my bags and drove back that night. While in the treatment facility you were not allowed to take medication. This was to help people with drug dependencies. My dependency was not drugs but food. After I got out of the ten day treatment, I saw a psychiatrist. He suggested that I needed to take medication to regulate the chemicals in my brain. He told me about a brand new drug that could help me. I told him that I really didn't want to take medications but he explained that if I needed blood pressure medicine or insulin that I would not turn down those life saving drugs. I needed help to save my life because I had lost my way.

To be honest I had suicidal thoughts. That scared me. So pair that with being angry, I told him I would take the Prozac. He explained that it would take about nine days for it to get into my system. On the ninth day I woke up with a new attitude. It was as if the light had been turn on and it was no longer night all the time. This was the day I started to live again. I slowly began to gain control over my lack of feelings. I will never forget the first time I felt the cramps. I actually celebrated being able to feel pain. I had been numb with depression. Taking my medication helped me to feel again. I got over my fear of taking medication to save my life. It took the love of another person to see the drastic changes in my personality.

Then it took a surge of adrenaline from anger to get me moving. Then it took the medication to help me over the hump and onto an even playing field. When you have fallen into a depression; don't ever want to go there again. You can feel yourself sliding and you can stop the slide by recognizing the signs. In 1995 I had another tough year. I started to feel myself isolate and I stopped the slide by going to my local mental health office. I knew that God had brought me to North Carolina for a reason and I was determined to find out what that was. I am so happy that I did. As you can see, I had to go through this to help you understand that we don't have to suffer with depression. We can get help. This is what FLYing is all about; Finally Loving yourself enough to take care ofyou with babysteps. Go see your doctor, establish simple habits to help relieve stress; go to bed at a decent hour and get out in the sun and do some loving movement.

Don't be ashamed to take your medications. For more information on depression; I went to the Mayo Clinic. http://www.mayoclin ic.com/health/ depression/ DS00175/DSECTION =2

Are you ready to FLY? I survived and you can too. Reach out and take my hand!

FlyLady

Habit

Here's a little tidbit I got in my mail today. This is totally my nemisis. My bad habits rule my life and I only get past them with great effort. That's where our daily routines are so helpful. Those are good habits we are trying to build that will help us conquer our bad habits.

by John Di Lemme

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me, and I will do them automatically.
I am easliy managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and I will do it quickly and correctly.
I am the servant of all great men and women, and all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intelligence of a human being.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am Habit.

Clean House Equals Money in the Bank??

The other day, I was over at the home of one of my "cleanie" friends and it's really got me thinking. This lady had a gorgeous house that was beautiful and apparently effortlessly clean. I was in several different rooms and all of them were gorgeously decorated and looking wonderful even though she works and wasn't expecting visitors.

I used to feel really bad about myself when I would go into homes like this. Now I try to use people like this as an example and a way to get ideas. Obviously, I'll never manage to keep my home exactly like this because she has that "born organized" gene and I don't, but I think it's an opportunity to learn. The interesting thing is that people like this probably don't spend HALF the time cleaning that we do. Because they've got those naturally neat habits, they just sort of pick things up all the time as they are going about their day, so they never have a big mess to deal with like I do. And apparently this has rubbed off on her husband and children, which is wonderful. I've seen both her kids rooms and they are just as nice as the rest of the house.

I have several friends like this and there's one thing I've noticed. They all seem to be in the category, I would term as "well-to-do" or some of them are even quite wealthy. They certainly have beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods that are full of beautiful furniture and decor. This leads me to kind of a chicken or egg question. Are they doing well because they have neat habits, or do they have neat habits because they are well to do?

Personally, I kind of think it is the first one. I think they are doing well because of the neat habits they have developed. The good habits that make for a nice house are the same habits that make for a good worker and a good parent. What employer doesn't want an employee who is organized, meticulous, and self-disciplined? And these same skills come in very handy as a parent. I know that my kids struggle a lot in school, not because they aren't really, really smart, but because I don't do well in helping them keep organized.

Here's an interesting thought. What if we were to take like three months and really focus on building our routines and getting our house into this kind of shape? I'll bet that then we would have the confidence and the skills to go out and get a better job and do a much better job with managing our money. We'd probably be much better parents too.

I've heard of this before. Flylady has said many times that messy houses are often tied with other problems, such as weight issues, money problems, marital problems and low-self esteem. But it's kind of like a spider web. When you tighten up one thread in the web, the other ones just automatically tighten up as well. And what a great goal. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if we could all have a clean house, lots of money, great kids, AND a skinny body - whoohoo!

The Happiness File

Here is a little post I received from Pam Jones - one of the ladies in the decluttering video we watched.

Dear Friends,

I know each one of you, because we are the same. One of your common questions since I started receiving mail from SHEs in 1978 (after writing Sidetracked Home Executives with my sister Peggy) has been: "Have you been looking in my windows?"

You saw yourself in our books and you were happy to know that you were not alone. We are all the same. We laugh the same, we cry the same, we are capable of some of the biggest messes in the world, but we are awesomely made and we are capable of incredible feats. I know you and I love you because we are the same.

In my 30 plus years of public speaking, I have been blessed to see you in a thousand audiences when you come together to learn and share your light. You are yummy bouquets of smiling, joyful, loving and beautiful flowers. There is nothing more rewarding in this world for me than to see and hear that you are getting organized and loving it.

Because when you get organized you are happier! Your mate is happier, your babies are happier and the world becomes a better place. That's why you are here. You were created to be happy and make this world a better place.

Speaking of being happy, FlyLady and I are so thrilled and excited to announce the premiere of the Happiness File Audio Book! In our career, Peggy and I wrote six books together, but the Happiness File generated more mail then all the others put together.

We received thousands of loving letters from grateful readers who told us the book changed their lives. Marla Cilley (Flylady) was one of them. It is because of the Happiness File's gentle nudging to be happier by breaking down life's common obstacles into manageable parts (baby steps) that she was able to change her circumstances and with her love and God-given talents, grow into the woman she shares with you today.

For more than ten years Marla has wanted to bring this book back into circulation and today it is a reality in a form that fits with our new technology. We wrote that book more than twenty years ago and what struck me as I was recording it for you is that the main ideas are as pertinent today as they were in the eighties. True, times change but life principles don't. We all need love and understanding. We need approval when we've done something good. We need encouragement and we all need to laugh, play and enjoy life.

The Happiness File can help lead you to a deeper realization that all is well, you are loved and you can change your circumstances when you change your mind. It took me almost a year to record The Happiness File in a state-of-the-art sound studio and I feel as though I've been in a cocoon with a beautiful butterfly. Now, because of FlyLady I can let this wonderful work fly in a new form!

We are very pleased with this talking book and we can't wait to hear how it has changed your life! Go to www.happinessfile.com to enjoy chapter one, The Golden Halo, free of charge and to order the entire book if you wish.

Love, Pam

YAHOO - You Always Have Other Options

I thought this was an interesting testimonial just because it shows that even if you start off on the wrong way of doing things, you can always back up and make a different choice. In other words - YAHOO: You Always Have Other Options.

Dear FlyLady,

I am writing to say thank you for being the God Breeze I really needed in my life. I have suffered badly from depression at several points in my life. I began fluttering with FlyLady some years ago but gave it up along with a lot of other things that were good in my life in the face of the last onslaught of depression. I stopped caring about myself and my home. I have a DD and a DH who badly needed me and I got through for them and managed to do what I needed to get us by, just functioning on autopilot. We often turned up late for things. I was often really stressed and would shout and because I was very disorganized. I was often worried and anxious. All things that just fed feeling more and more depressed. I gave up my dance class and didn't see people, I just withdrew from life and felt miserable.

A few months ago I began to feel a little bit brighter. So much so that I thought that I would begin to clear out the house. I thought that a "once and for all clear out" was the way forward for me. I thought I wouldn't do it the FlyLady way. I thought that I would just go for it. My weird logic was if I trashed the house then I would HAVE to do something about it and clear up the mess. (Can you see the flaw in the plan already?).

So I cleared out my shed. I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs and I began to clear out the attic. I had stuff in the hallway, stuff in the dining room, stuff in the living room, stuff in the bedroom. ALL OVER THE HOUSE! Then I burnt out. So much for feeling better, now the house was a total tip and clutter breeds clutter (as you guys know). Doing housework became really difficult and I felt really low about it.

I felt that I was a failure to my family and a failure to myself. A month or so went past living in this horrible chaos then I thought about the FlyLady. Maybe there was more to that than I thought. Maybe there was a way to deal with all the clutter in my house. I got off my Franny and ordered your book off of the website. I have read it and thought about it and it has all finally clicked.

I began with a morning routine and just got used to that. It was pretty much all I could manage at first but I felt really good about it. There was an instant improvement in the house and the way I felt.I really enjoyed the feeling of conquering my Mount Washmore. I then decided to shine my sink. My sink is beautiful. DH and DD started noticing that Mum seemed a little happier and more calm at this point and I started to talk about the FlyLady with them.

They began to help with the morning routine too. I then took on the clutter in each room left over from my disastrous "once and for all clearout". My DH helped and my DD was really wonderful and decluttered her own room (with my loving and calm help – I realized that we all need clear directions about what to do and we need to be encouraged and praised for doing it).

As I sit and type this with tears running down my cheeks I really need to tell you that my house is looking really good. I have managed to deal with all the clutter from my clear out and am continuing to do fifteen minutes decluttering every day. I have put in the evening routine and am really working on turning it into a habit. When I set out my clothes the night before I put my bath robe next to my bed, in the morning I slip into that and am snugly and warm while I get mybreakfast and the others breakfast ready (I've been spoiling them with breakfast in bed recently - I love to do it. Such a nice way to wake them up and welcome them to their day) and then I get showered and pamper myself with my face creams (I do this morning and evening DH has commented on how great my skin is looking) and then I get dressed to shoes (so easy with my clothes already picked out) and start the morning jobs.

My DD has gone back to school this week and was all organized calm and happy and I've made the packed lunches the night before and the mornings have become a fun time. We laugh where we used to shout and feel stressed. The clothes are all clean, the dishes are all clean in the dishwasher (bedtime routine to thank for that!) and there is a happiness and a peace in our house that I have never known.

In the next couple of months I am going to set about organizing the finances with the help of FACE which I have discovered on your website and want to explore further and I am looking forward to adding in more routines one BabyStep at a time. I feel really good about myself and about my home and about my family.

I realize that feeling good really is something that is infectious and we're all laughing so much more and I am beginning to really get better. I'm going back to dance class next week and I've got myself a new job and am feeling really great and excited about that. And I have to tell you before I go that today I didn't manage to do all of the morning routine before I had to go and take my DD to school. When I got home my DH had done it all for me because it was clear what had to be done (post-it notes all over the place you see!)

Thank you FlyLady for being there. All of the routines and the testimonials and the essays are inspirational and I am beginning to understand about finally loving myself and because I am taking care of me I am suddenly able to love and support my DH and DD so much more and I know that I will grow and grow from this point onwards. Thank you for all that you do.

FlyBaby in the UK

FlyLady here: Oh...purple puddles! I am so glad that routines and BabySteps have helped this FlyBaby claim the peace she deserves. If you are feeling depressed... please seek medical help. This is what I did when I was depressed. Follow the prescribed medical treatment. FLYing means finally loving yourself..and if you are depressed you won't be able to love yourself. Our habit for September is the before bed routine. It is amazing how much better your morning is with a few BabySteps in the evening. Tonight...after your busy day...do a little..and go to sleep knowing that an easier morning awaits you!!!!